rate_review Reviews

The story was great and lots of fun but you wrote the story in the third person but kept using the wrong tense "Starefire walks over to the bed" instead should be "Starfire walked over to the bed"

It’s late at night, well into the A.M. and Starfire has woken out of a dead sleep. She tosses, she turns, she tries using the cool side of the pillow, but nothing makes her sleepy again.

Starfire’s mind is wide-awake, thinking about the coming day, the day before, and yesterday, all with the same lonely feeling that it would be a day without her good friends, and without Robin. Thinking of him made Star’s heart ache worse than the loneliness of knowing that, except for Raven, the tower was empty. Starfire eventually decided “staying in bed helps me not…Robin once said that the best thing to do for sleep is to make yourself tired again. I’ll do some training before continuing with the sawing of logs.”

HERE I CORECTED THE TENSE >It was late at night, well into the A.M. and Starfire has woken out of a dead sleep. She tossed, and she turned, she tried using the cool side of the pillow, but nothing made her feel sleepy again.<

Starfire’s mind was wide-awake, thinking about the coming day, about yesterday, and the day before, all with the same lonely feeling that it would be a day without her good friends, and without Robin. Thinking of him made Star’s heart ache worse than the loneliness of knowing that, except for Raven, the tower was empty. Starfire eventually decided THIS PART SHOULD BE IN ITALICS >“staying in bed is helping me not…"< HERE WHAT ROBIN SAID AND WHAT STARFIRE SAYS NEEDS TO BE SEPERATED WITH ITS OWN QUOTAIONS "Robin once said that the best thing to do for sleep is to make yourself tired again." " I’ll do some training before continuing with the sawing of logs.” HERE YOU NEED TO PUT A SHE SAID OR SHE THOUGHT IF IT'S SHE THOUGHT THEN IT SHOUD BE IN ITALICS AGIN

I hope this helps and again I hope you are still around to see this.

great story