rate_review Reviews

you are a fucking genius!

Continue, damn it!

Just remember: revise, paragraphs, and put thought into your writing! I want to see what happens next!

this is a kick *** fanfic i liked it a lot . write more plz. by.

In the words of one of my favorite adultswim sidekicks .....(peanut, I think thats right) (harvey birdman:attorney at law)
"ME LIKIE THE OPPRESIVE TOTALATARIANISM" ...snikers, snikers. Might be interesting if some of the TT foes get in on this say like BLACKFIRE, or maybe KITTY. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. PLZ MORE SEQUALS TO THIS STORY.

EASY TIP: JUST GETT ANY NEWER TYPING PROGRAM AND JUST RUN SPELL CHECK THAT WILL HELP. OVER ALL I STILL LIKED IT A LOT.

I like it.

don't be sad! Be happy! And update! I really liked Dirty, too!

Ok you got a lot to work with potential wise, just going to offer some tips. Spell Checker, live and die by this thing; Try and get a Beta Reader, that will help find any errors or difficult passages ahead of time; and lastly Take the descriptions you currently do, and bring them out a bit... Instead of 'she slammed him to the table and jumped on top of him with a maniacal glare' (just an example not lifted from story), do something more like 'She aggressively slammed him to the tabletop, deftly she lept on top of him. She gave him a maniacal gleam as she settled herself above him.' In otherwords, get more descriptive; your story becomes a bit hard to follow, think like a painter - the more you paint the more complex and whole the picture becomes in the mind of the reader; it you leave it too simple, many readers wont be able to follow it without a lot of imagination. Other than these technical issues, you do have a good flair and feel to the writing; with work in these areas you could churn out some excellent work. Keep hard at it.

good start but you either need to update this quickly or start making chapters longer, somehow i never thought of beast boy with raven but it seems like an interesting pair. -Botched