rate_review Reviews

Wow, I must say, this is an incredibly well-written piece. If I had any quaalms about this work, it's the semi-rushed chance meeting between the two lovers. However, if that and few (I mean few) syntax errors are all the flaws, continue to make such mistakes in the future. I would love to see more work. Since you are writing it, it could be about anything.

Ja Ne,
Jebus

Very good! ^o^ Actually very very very well written! I would love to see more!

Oh, I just loved the Raven naughty naughty! Great work.

~Angel
P.S. Any chance for a sequel ?

Oh yeah, I can totally see Raven the dominatrix. And if anyone needs a whipping, it's Robin.

Another thing 'cos I just saw Dragonsickness (or something) poking at every little fucking thing. Dunno, maybe he/she works for the continuity errors department in films or something. You did just fine. I didn't notice any of that stuff. ::Frowns:: Maybe I'm dumb. Hmm.

WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOW That was soooooooo great!!!!
Please please please update!

Nice and erotic... but you need to work on your writing a little bit. The little details are what got me. Robin flinching at the groin hits during the movie, and then Beast Boy's reaction, has me thinking they were in the middle of a brawl, or watching a real fight, until you finally mentioned the movie. I guess that was the intention, but you need to do it in a way that hints to the hits' origin without giving it a way so that it's not so abrupt. Also keep track of clothing... I asume Raven was still clothed when she met Robin in the kitchen, so when did her clothing get removed to have sex? Or was she wearing a nightgown of some kind and no panties? Or did she simply push the bit of cloth covering her crotch out of the way? These are important details as they, if left unanswered, can jerk a reader out of the story. I'm sure you know the answers to all this, but you gotta let the readers know what's going on. Also, Raven was definately OOC. I know they say you have to make characters that way for lemons, but it is possible to have her keep her personality intact and still enjoy a little romantic contact. As it is, she smiled more in this fic than she did in the entire first season of the show. Work on making personalities work toward your plot ideas instead of reshaping personalities for the sake of a plot.