rate_review Reviews

Well it's a little known fact, but after i got permission, i did the second chapter for this story...^^()

not bad, given your bold enough to do this sort of material, you think you could do a request (in the teen titans request section) involving starfire.

After reading this and the reviews, I have to tell you now that D-Roc, you need to actually put your story in beta so the grammar errors and typos could be dealt with first. Also to the dude named marcus, if your name actually is marcus then not only would that be funny but it would also be ironic at the same time. To animeenthusiest, Enigma owned you too damn hard lol. I agree with enigma and almost everyone else on this. This is actually the first rape fanfic where the rapists gets killed. So good job there d-roc. That deserves an instant 5 star rating despite everything else ^_^.

The crazy thing is My Name is Marcus and im black but i dont have a 8" only 7" BUT GREAT STORY i was kinda surpriesed that she went back then when they were all killed is wut made me feel better... shit i would kill some one to do that to some girl i care about....

Uh...it was ok. I'm leaning towards the popular belief you need to work on your writing skills, and the story's not my bag, but you can always improve.

Plus, uh, anon, even though Enigma was perhaps being a bit aggressive, that didn't give you an invitation to just go off like that, that was seriously uncalled for.

I actually thought this story was quite well done. Enigma and Shadowknight may be correct in that your gammar needs work, I don't think that I need to resort to insults such as "I've seen 10 year olds with better grammar" I'm more concerned with how easy it is to understand what's going on and who's talking, and i never had an issue with that throughout the story. Despite the grammar, your spelling is quite well done. Overall, I think that this was a very good story. And I would like to suggest to Enigma to be a bit more polite with constructive criticism.

I agree with Darknight. I've seen better use of the English language from 10 year olds. You have no quotation marks anywhere, so I can't tell when they're talking and when it's narrative. "He came deep in her bowels" and then "wanted to come in her mouth"...so, did he come or not? Because no guy can keep it up and actually ENJOY it after coming without a ten minute break. Plus that and no girl who's being raped is going to come because it's a feeling that is mostly caused by the pheromones generated by a girl enjoying herself. If she's being raped, then she isn't going to be generating any pheromones and therefore isn't going to come. It's kinda sickening that stories like this one generate as many hits and reviews as it has...but then again, looking at the lack of coherency from your positive reviewers, I can see why.

Vote: 1/5

please write more

Yes. I said won instead of own. It's 1:23 & been a long day.

Yikes!