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April 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
great story so far. i hope you update soon
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January 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i like this stiry. update. by the way your english is pretty good so don't worry about it.
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October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Why arne't you continuing this story!? WHAT"S WRONG!!! CONTINUE.... your putting this story off!
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October 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
continue damnit!
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September 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ah dude you can't do this to me!! This is really good and I am all caught up in the story and you end it on me!! Update soon please please please update soon!
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August 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Lust? No love? stories with no love or no meaninful emotions are worthless. And all those author notes were irksome and too frequent. Without love, your fic is garbage. Without meaning. Without taste
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August 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
please u gotta write another chapter. please email me when u do. i love it!
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August 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Not bad. Flow needs work. Your explations should be at the end of the chapter not through out it because it brakes up the flow of the story. You need to pick a different color for lust because pink is happy's color but other wise I liked her outfit. I hope to read more of the story. Good luck signed a fan of Raven
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August 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
A good start. I would remove any writer/audience commentary, though, since it breaks the flow of the story... maybe tuck your comments in at the end.
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August 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Very very VERY good job please continue, id like to see how this one plays out