rate_review Reviews

I really think you should write more for it. I thought it had a lot of promising........ posibilities.

INCEST ALERT!
wonder what'll happen (aside form the obvious)
answer the question with the next chapter, please

A bit quick if you ask me, but these story never usually have much plot, it's always the same. Don't get me wrong, I love naked women, but this was just too short, and too quick for a starting chapter. You need to build it up, have them share the room for a few days before Terra makes her move, then you pounce into the cliffy with Blackfire (that part wasn't bad BTW). One thing I don't understand, how did Terra know who Blackfire was, they'd never met, nor was Terra around during Blackfire's tyrades. Oh well, guess that's a plothole.

-Nate Sindel

Guess I read the last sentence wrong, so just forget about my asking how Terra knew Blackfire, guess they met up somewhere beforehand.

kinda far-fetched, i thot. Starfire and Terra just randomly start making out, and Blackfire's there for no reason and somehow it seems like nobody else knows? o well, yur story, not mine. it kinda just felt like there was something missing, like reason for starfire and terra to just randomly kiss, if yu add more than just "she breathed warm air onto her earlobe" it would be alot better, i know this is just a story, but as far as i know, if i went up and hugged a friend from behind and tried to kiss them, im getting elbowed in the stomach really hard. especially if i just met them. but yea, could be an interesting story if you continued.