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August 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Please don't get me wrong. Now I like this story and do want you to continue it, but I find it hard to believe that Batman would just let the Joker shoot a guy, thus killing him, and not do anything about it. That's the only thing that bugs me, besides that it's an okay fic.
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August 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
you have us hanging with every chapter : D
I think Batman's real plan is to send Joker into a diabetic coma lol cake over dose X)
Fantastic chapter!
I think Batman's real plan is to send Joker into a diabetic coma lol cake over dose X)
Fantastic chapter!
schedule
August 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
God, you're so amazing! I just love your writing! However, I'm too lazy to tell you anything else right now.
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August 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
i love this story!!! please keep it going!!
BTW is your story based on the comics or the Dark Knight movie? im not 100% sure which
BTW is your story based on the comics or the Dark Knight movie? im not 100% sure which
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August 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Amazing! Cant wait for the next chapter!
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August 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh, tell me more! They both seem to be in character, and it is written most thoughtfully with just enough description to match the dialog, witch I just adore. Also, it would seem that you are capable of setting up a plot that takes place, from what I can see, in just a few rooms. Good for you!
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August 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ooh, this is definitely shaping up to be fun! I like your characterization of the Joker, and Batman's squeamishness to touch him just seems so right as well! You especially made me squeal when the Joker called Bruce on his dislike of seeing him use the dishes >:3
In the second chapter, though, be careful about using "you" statements ("Like when you have a new toy" paragraph), because it can pull the reader out of the moment (I know it did for me, though only briefly!). Also, in terms of "show, don't tell", you could drop in some cool flashbacks from Arkham with the psychs testing the Joker instead of telling us, "They told him that he was more agreeable after eating sweets." (I mean, really, who doesn't love some extra Joker-time?!)
Of course, I'm just being picky here :) Sorry if you weren't looking for critique, it's just the beta-er in me rattling the cage! In any case, good piece, and great character work. I look forward to more!
In the second chapter, though, be careful about using "you" statements ("Like when you have a new toy" paragraph), because it can pull the reader out of the moment (I know it did for me, though only briefly!). Also, in terms of "show, don't tell", you could drop in some cool flashbacks from Arkham with the psychs testing the Joker instead of telling us, "They told him that he was more agreeable after eating sweets." (I mean, really, who doesn't love some extra Joker-time?!)
Of course, I'm just being picky here :) Sorry if you weren't looking for critique, it's just the beta-er in me rattling the cage! In any case, good piece, and great character work. I look forward to more!