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June 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM
As far as developing the story, this chapter was good. I can't say well written because there were too many mistakes in the grammar to count, but it was a gripping story. I do however have to agree with everyone else. If you actually kill Artemis; that would really suck!!!
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June 8, 2013 at 12:00 AM
If this is really how the story is going to end, I will never forgive you.O_O
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June 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
(5) Not my favorite chap but looking forward to more.
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June 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Is this supposed to be how it ends? With Artemis dying, too? What kind of ending is that? Seriously, after all this buildup to M'gann and Artemis finding love in each other's arms and being able to start a new life together, Artemis dies, too? What kind of ending is that? Or in other words, please, please, please don't let Artemis actually die. She could have just passed out from the sheer terror of thinking she was going to die and been caught at the last second, right? Right?
In other news, Joker is as despicable as ever, and I did not at all enjoy the scene between him and Harley, though I was probably not supposed to, anyway. You did a good job showing how coldly pragmatic Nightwing had become; even if the situation was pretty disturbing, it's still in-character progress from his mentality for most of Invasion. I just wish the chapter (and the story) didn't end like this.
In other news, Joker is as despicable as ever, and I did not at all enjoy the scene between him and Harley, though I was probably not supposed to, anyway. You did a good job showing how coldly pragmatic Nightwing had become; even if the situation was pretty disturbing, it's still in-character progress from his mentality for most of Invasion. I just wish the chapter (and the story) didn't end like this.
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May 1, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Loving every bit of the story so far and can't wait for the next chapter!
And thank you thank you thank you for not giving M'gann testicles! Nothing ruins a fantastic futa fic like giving a girl big fat balls.
And thank you thank you thank you for not giving M'gann testicles! Nothing ruins a fantastic futa fic like giving a girl big fat balls.
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April 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Read Chap 3. More good stuff. I could read for you if you need some help.
SailorNemesis
SailorNemesis
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April 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Sexy futa love!
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April 26, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Another excellent chapter. I am very happy to see more Young Justice work.
It flows well, the sex is good and not hurried. There are a few spelling errors, nothing a good beta reader couldn't help you iron out. I did notice that you consistently write 'heard' as 'herd'. I screw up homonyms all the time, so I offer my sympathy, but this one you seemed to make every single time.
In all honesty, this is a very good story and I am excited for the next instalment.
It flows well, the sex is good and not hurried. There are a few spelling errors, nothing a good beta reader couldn't help you iron out. I did notice that you consistently write 'heard' as 'herd'. I screw up homonyms all the time, so I offer my sympathy, but this one you seemed to make every single time.
In all honesty, this is a very good story and I am excited for the next instalment.
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April 26, 2013 at 12:00 AM
should bring in Gar. You know to teach him about the birds and the bees
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April 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Really enjoyed chap 2. Hope to see more.