rate_review Reviews

"One Night in New York" was pretty good. I'm not familiar with either character, so I can't comment on that. There wasn't a great deal of characterization in this story, anyway. There was some pretty good fucking, the story was reasonably written and I don't feel the need to mention any clumsy spots. There really weren't that many. The author has room to grow, but I think he'll succeed if he try's.

Please correct your disclaimer.

Your disclaimer doesn't have all the parts we need to see. It can be worded however you like, as long as you include the name of the specific fandom (and not just the characters) and clearly say that you make no money/profit.

You must use the actual name of the fandom. Just naming the owners/creators of the fandom, or saying that you don't own only the characters is not enough. It's also not enough to say that this is just for fun or entertainment. You have to clearly say that you make no money/profit.

What happens if the disclaimer isn't fixed? We allow seven (7) days for the story to be corrected. After that, we hide it, and it will stay hidden until it's corrected or until it's been thirty (30) days since we hid it. At that point, we do delete the story. If we do hide your story, you can always access it through your Control Panel in your archive profile even while it's hidden. If we do hide your story, and you've fixed it, you can contact the ToS team with the name of your story, your username and the fandom where the story is located to have your story made visible again. You can contact us by email at TOS_team@adult-fanfiction.org. Just one thing: Re-uploads of hidden stories are deleted immediately with no additional warning given.

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BronxWench, AFF Archive Moderator

Well, that was interesting. I wasn't expecting a Scarlet Spider/Stargirl pairing, but you depicted it in a way that definitely made me want to see more of them together. If you do write a second chapter or a sequel, how do you feel about Amanda Waller sending Stargirl to Houston as part of the publicity tour for the Justice League of America and her running into Kaine again, costumed or not? Hmm, could be an idea if they ran into each other again in their civvies and just maybe connected the dots to each other's costumed identities . . . I'd imagine it being fairly embarrassing for Kaine if he realized he did a high-school girl. Oh, and since you seem to be merging the New 52 DCU with the current Marvel Universe, I wonder if this little dalliance between Kaine and Courtney would get Waller on the Scarlet Spider's trail . . . and Spider-Man's by extension/association.

Normally I don't expect people to actually try and do better when I ask them to so I'm surprised when you did this (although if you had I thought it would be just an update and not delete the old version of this and repost the edited version). Still this is much better, with the paragraphs like they are it's a lot easier to read and flows better.

As for the plot I don't think it ever stated what kind of guy Cortney likes so her liking bad boys is possible. The actual sex scenes were well done I felt and I look foreword for more. Like will next time she actually get her top off? Will he use his webbing to tie her up? I really hope you do another chapter as I want to see where more of this goes. Plus will Kaine start to think about fucking a 16 year old or have second thoughts? (since doesn't he live with a Mexican girl the same age lol) Then again he used to be a hired killer so his morality is a little in the grey area.