Mad Jyhad

They were on the roof when I returned, Batman and Nightwing in full uniform. I landed lightly beside them, forcing myself not to look at the snow, to ignore the sparkle and flash and look only at the two men in front of me.

"I just met with one of the leaders."

Nightwing gave me a calculating look. I chose to ignore it and spoke only to Batman. "They want me to return to Gotham immediately. They want me to 'pretend' to be your 'human' partner and to say that I've been out of town...they told me to make up a reason. They want me to continue to be Robin. I think...I'm supposed to spy on you. They will give me further instructions later." I smiled as Batman began to nod. As he began to pace I was reminded of Jolly Jones.

"That might actually be for the best. Too many people are questioning your disappearance. Young Justice in particular. I didn't tell anyone what had happened but Superman suspects something. This will get them all to back down." Batman gave me a rare smile as he came to stand in front of me. "In fact, how about you celebrate your birthday with them?"

"Young Justice didn't want to have anything more to do with me last I heard!" I grimaced. I still resented how they suspected me of keeping files on them. Guilt by association.

"I think with your disappearance they have had a change of heart. They have certainly acted worried the last few weeks. They have been in constant contact with the JLA, looking for information on you. That, in turn, has made certain Justice League members curious." He grimaced.

Nightwing nodded. "The gossip that you have disappeared has also reached as far as the Titans."

"I can understand your continued anger at them but this might be a great way of backing everyone off, plus moving your investigation along. Perhaps you can even repair some bridges?" Batman tilted his head and smiled as he reached out a finger to touch my cheek. Behind him Nightwing shifted and glared, small red and green bands beginning to form. I concentrated, attempting for once to make the auras around people fade.

"My birthday?" I ask choosing to ignore Nightwing; slowly the bands disappeared despite the scent that told me that they were probably still there. I was still angry with him and this little show of his wasn't helping.

"Yes, they may feel like they have an opportunity to get to know the real 'you' if they know it is your birthday. Besides, it isn't everyday you turn seventeen!"

The finger had begun to stroke my face and I leaned into the touch. "You are right. I'll do it!"

Nightwing cleared his throat and Batman abruptly broke his contact. Batman looked startled and turned away but not before I saw the red stain his cheeks.

"I'll get Robin's stuff ready and we will be in Gotham before dawn." Nightwing growled.

Batman looked between us in confusion. "You will be coming, too?"

"Yeah, it's been a while since I've stayed in Gotham and I'm still on leave of absence. I won't be missed."

"Of course!" Batman said faintly. "I'm happy to have you home!"

I began to wonder if maybe I WAS affecting him. I knew I wasn't dominating him but perhaps I was influencing him in another way? I sighed to myself. I needed to talk to either Jolly Jones or God forbid, Niculaie, either one at this point, just so long as it was another vampire.

As Batman jumped from the roof I felt more than saw Nightwing's glare as he said, "Come on!"

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"I didn't do anything!" I hissed as we entered the apartment. I was angry, I wanted to rage at him. Make him believe me through force if he would not listen to reason.

"I didn't say a word." Dick's teeth ground together as he spoke. He stormed into the bedroom.

I seethed quietly in a corner as he returned with an overnight bag. "Have you fed this evening?"

I debated telling him the truth. I had promised not to lie...but...was it truly a lie to just...omit the truth? I know there is such a thing as lie by omission but...? I wondered what telling him the truth would truly accomplish. Jones had asked that I didn't tell anyone about the meeting.

I decided maybe I should tell him some of it. The floor became suddenly very interesting as he threw the bag onto the couch. "Yes, I fed."

Nightwing rushed to my side, he grabbed my face and pulled it up. "Where? What did you feed on?"

His eyes studied me as I cleared my throat, feeling the tiny thrill as I remembered Jones' body against mine. My face warmed and I wondered if I could still blush. As he took in the slight difference in costume his eyes darkened.

"What did you do?" he growled.

He had automatically thought the worst and suddenly I didn't WANT to tell him the truth. None of it.

"Nothing!" I gritted out. "Not what you are thinking anyway!"

"Where did you feed? Where did you go?"

I pushed past him and grabbed the bag from the couch. "Does it matter? It's not like you believe me! You've already made up your mind. You are my judge, jury, and executioner!"

He tried to grab me as I walked back toward the window; the soft snow hit the small window and whispered words of comfort.

"Wait a minute!" he yelled.

"Why should I?" Any guilt that I had about Jones flew out the proverbial window as I rounded on him. How dare he? How dare he not have faith in me? But then a little voice inside pointed out that I've had more than one lapse in judgment lately. I silently ignored it.

"I'm sorry!" Dick was just as angry as I was. "But what am I supposed to think? You leave here angry, without having fed, and come back with a different outfit on and refusing to tell me where you went!"

"I went to the Alley Bi! I got a drink there! There were no humans involved!" I growled at him as I shook off the hand that had found its way onto my arm. I told myself that it wasn't that far from the truth.

"You didn't have any money when you left here..." he said.

"Someone bought me a drink!" A lie, yes, I know. Lies are bad. But the truth was worse. And well? So he didn't exactly 'buy' the drink but he DID offer it!

"Who?" The dark look passed through his eyes again and I wanted to smile. Maybe there was a touch of jealousy there.

I shrugged. "I don't know his name. He was hitting on me. It was no big deal. He bought me a drink, I left...end of story!"

I had graduated to outright lies. I deserved a cookie. Not that I could actually eat one.

"Why did you change your costume then!"

"Because I fell in the slush!" He looked disbelieving and I realized how lame that sounded even to me. "I became entranced while I was out and didn't watch where I was going. I fell!"

That had sounded better and wasn't too far from the truth. I had almost become entranced while on the line. I had nearly fallen.

His face slowly relaxed taking on the sad look that I had seen upon it too many times since he discovered that I was Malkavian. He nodded and turned away. "I understand. We should hurry though. Batman will be waiting."

I nodded. "Then come on, slowpoke!"

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We entered through the cave. Batman didn't question it, the answer was obvious, I could not be seen as Timothy Drake anymore and Robin could not be seen entering the Manor.

Deep, deep within the cave I could hear tiny little echoes. I was suddenly disoriented, the sound rose around me and for a few seconds I felt dizzy. Nightwing grabbed my arm and steadied me. I made a conscious effort to block the noise. Nightwing's confused face peered into mine and he whispered. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and blinked away the small bit of nausea in the pit of my stomach. "Bats...too many bats." I whispered back.

Alfred greeted us as we entered and the tears of joy in his eyes made my heart twist. And for that second I wanted so much to be what I once was. Timothy Drake.

He laid his tray of snacks down on the computer console and hugged me. I smiled up at him and backed away slowly. "I'm so sorry..."

Alfred leveled a stern finger at me, "Just don't EVER let it happen again!"

"I'll try not to...I'm sor-..."

Turning from me I saw him wipe his eyes. "Think nothing of it, my dear boy! I'm just so...happy that you are alive!"

"I'm still..."

Alfred waved his hand and smiled again. "Please, no...just eat. You are so thin! Undercover work doesn't lend itself well to good nutrition."

Nodding, I looked down at the tray and lifted one of the cookies. Oatmeal raisin. The smell was...stale. Yet, I knew that they were freshly baked. Nothing less would be good enough for Alfred. I smiled as I lifted it to my lips. I was curious as to whether I could actually eat solid food. I knew I could drink liquids with no ill effect but solid?

Nightwing came forward and caught the butler's attention while I tentatively took a bite. My throat seized up not allowing me to swallow. I took the napkin from the tray and discreetly spit. Apparently, I was on a strictly liquid diet from now on. I could drink blood, I could drink alcohol, hell, I bet I could drink pop...but one of Alfred's mouth watering meals? I was out of luck.

I took a few of the cookies from the platter and walked across the room before quietly throwing them away. I made a show of studying the read out on the monitor before movement caught my eye. I knew he was there but I had not realized that he was watching me. I thought he was still inputting data into the computer.

"Not hungry?" Bruce whispered. His cowl was pulled down around his neck and I realized just how pale and gaunt he appeared. He had lost a lot of weight since my...disappearance.

"Um, no, not really I ate earlier while I was out." He studied me closely and I wondered what changes he could see in me. What could he deduce with that detective mind just by looking at me?

"He would have understood..." Batman started.

I laughed. "Perhaps, but not after badgering me for the next half hour to eat something!"

He smiled. "Of course, you are right. He badgers me nightly."

"Well, in your case, it is justified! You look like hell, Bruce." I said it lightly but I was serious. "You need to take care of yourself."

He looked away with a grimace. "I do take care of myself."

With a sigh I turned back to the monitor. There was no use in arguing with him. There never was. He would believe what he wanted to believe. That was just his way.

"When do you want me to call them?" I asked instead.

"Well, it is nearly dawn now. I would suggest waiting a few hours. About noon should be okay. Since it is the weekend..."

Internally, I winced. Noon, which was the middle of my sleep cycle, and the height of when the sun called me to my death.

Nightwing sidled up beside us. "In the meantime, Tim should probably get some sleep. He's been up all night."

Alfred sniffed delicately. "Indeed! He's still a growing boy! To be honest you should all get some rest."

I cringed at the growing boy comment.

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The heavy curtains thankfully blocked out the deadly sun as Alfred came to rouse me from my bed.

I had curled up under the blanket completely encased, my head additionally under the pillow. If I hadn't already known that Alfred would be the one to wake me, I might have given into the temptation to crawl under the bed to sleep. To say that I didn't want to get up would have been an understatement.

Alfred jumped back as I growled from under the covers. "Master Tim?"

His voice brought me back to myself and I consciously returned my features back to human appearance before taking the covers from my head. "Sorry, I had to clear my throat..."

He still appeared flustered as he nodded. "Ah, indeed. Are you falling ill?"

"No."

I was aware of how grumpy I sounded and tried to smile at him. "I'm just tired. Please forgive me."

"Of course Master Tim, I understand entirely!"

Reaching for my uniform I tried to ignore the Hunger building within. I tried to ignore the scent of Alfred's blood. "Is Dick awake yet?"

"Ah, yes, indeed. He said to tell you to come to his room before going down to the cave." Alfred said as he neared the door.

"Okay, thank you. And sorry again..."

"Quite all right. You are very tired. You've had a very trying experience I'm sure. Think nothing of it."

As he closed the door I hung my head. I had actually growled at Alfred! And for a few seconds before I got a grip on myself I had considered...

I shook my head. I didn't even want to contemplate what I had almost done, and to whom. I finished dressing.

In Dick's room he didn't say a word, he only handed me the mug that contained the chilled blood. I opened my mouth to ask him how and where but he pre-empted me by pointing to the small refrigerator along the wall, a relic from his high school and college days. I nodded drinking in silence. I remembered him telling me about it. Apparently, it saved on trips to the kitchen in the dead of night and Alfred had always kept it well stocked until Dick had finally moved away.

Draining my drink I quietly followed him out. From the cold shoulder I was getting I could only assume that Dick was still convinced I was manipulating Bruce. Perhaps even Alfred now.

To be honest I wasn't sure that I some how wasn't! But I wasn't sure what it was exactly that I was doing.

I sighed. It was going to be a long day.

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The trip downstairs was... not... fun.

Alfred's continued attempts to make the manor look bright and cheery were hazardous to my continued health. It was like trying to negotiate a maze that was on fire. More than once I had to cover myself with my cape and just hope for the best. Needless to say I was singed more than once.

The cave was a blessing with its soothing darkness as I entered. I concentrated on blocking out the sound of the bats as soon as I entered. It was much like being at a party where dozens of conversations were being spoken loudly and you only wanted to listen to the one in front of you. You just had to block out the others and focus on the person in front of you. In this case the bats were the ones I was choosing to ignore.

Batman waited by the monitor. Behind him I could see Wonder Girl and Superboy. Over their shoulder I could see the others and even Cissie. I was surprised to note that they did look rather anxious.

"WHERE on EARTH have you been?" Well, no one can ever say Wonder Girl wasted time.

"I'm afraid that is confidential."

Wrong answer. Her eyes flashed and I knew that it wasn't what they wanted to hear. I turned to Batman. He gave me that peculiar smile before he turned to the monitor himself. "Robin has been working an undercover investigation. It is ongoing. But he has reached a point where it has become a waiting game."

He took a step back and came to stand behind me. I could feel his presence and felt the delicious warmth. I wondered was I doing something to him? Because at that moment he was DEFINITELY doing something to ME!

By Nightwing's glare, he believed I was. But if I was, I didn't know how to 'turn it off'.

Secret smiled and floated her way to the front of the group. "Robin, Batman said something about you coming by?"

I nodded. "Yeah, if you all wouldn't mind. It's my birthday in a couple of days and I can't really be with my family..."

"Your birthday!" the girls squealed and I flinched. My hearing was a lot sharper and it cut through my skull. By the look of Superboy, Impulse, and Lil' Lobo, thelt tlt the same way.

"We could have a party!" Cassie and Cissie began to talk rapidly and I smiled without really listening. They would work out the details I would just show up. Typical.

"So would you um...come by...tonight?" Secret asked.

Her face fell as I shook my head. "I would if I could, but I have to meet someone tonight. It's part of my case. But tomorrow night..."

She smiled brilliantly. "GREAT!"

As the monitor went blank I shook my head. She still liked me. But would she still like me once she discovered what I was?

"You are meeting someone tonight?" Batman asked as I turned around.

"Yes, I have to...report...in. No wires. They will check and they will also jam them."

Batman didn't look sure but Nightwing touched his shoulder. "It's okay, we've been on this for a while. It's safe...for now."

Batman wasn't going to agree. I knew he wasn't. But I wanted him to. I willed that he would understand...that he would let this slip by... I felt something inside shift...

"I suppose...you two...know what you are doing..."

Nightwing frowned and I realized what I had done. But I couldn't find it in myself to feel guilty about it. It was further proof that his attentions were not by domination. I had to actively will things...

"Batman, I'm a little tired. Would you mind if I...?"

He shook himself as he came out of a daze. "Huh, oh, no! Go back to bed, sleep well!"

I could feel Nightwing's gaze as I walked up the steps. I straightened my shoulders and did not look back.

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