Mad Jyhad

I found Nightwing in the kitchen with the other members of Young Justice. He stood off in the corner ignoring everyone and everything in the room around him. His arms were crossed and he was glaring at the wall. I approached him only for him to turn away from me. Rather than start a confrontation I turned back to the others.

At the table sat Superboy, Impulse and the others. All shooting tentative looks at Nightwing. As I came into the room they smiled and called out to me and I returned their greetings. "How's the birthday boy doing?" Kon asked.

"Just fine." I said as I came to stand in front of the table.

"What was that all about? Earlier with Secret, I mean?" Cassie asked.

"Oh, just...nothing. We needed to talk. That's all. We worked it out."

Behind me Secret floated in and added. "Everything is just great!"

In the corner, Nightwing snorted. I chose to ignore him and instead sat down next to Superboy. The low hiss caressed the very air around him.

"How has everyone else been?" I asked for lack of anything else to say.

"Same old same old. You know how it is. Save the damsel, save the universe, do your homework, take out the trash!" Cassie laughed.

I laughed weakly. Yeah, I remembered. But there would be no more 'homework' for me. There would be no more school. No more part time normal life. Only a never-ending darkness and blood. "Yeah, I remember."

Nightwing shifted in the corner and I looked over at him. Secret was muttering to him and he was turning away from her. I concentrated and caught the tail end of her words. "...talk to him!"

I shook my head. There was no way she was going to convince him to talk to me.

"Well, what are your plans?" Cissie asked with a blush. "What have you been up to?"

"Ah, good question, although, I can't really answer that, undercover stuff." I cleared my throat and leaned on the table. "Plans? Well? Umm, not many. Just keep working the case and hope for the best, I suppose."

They nodded and smiled and the silence was disconcerting as it stretched beyond comfortable.

Lil'Lobo slammed the refrigerator door and belched. "Damn ya people are borin'! What kinda party's this? No booze, no fraggin' no nuttin! This blows!"

I snickered as I thought about Lestat's Asylum. Lobo would love it. Maybe. Come to think of it. The Alley Bi was probably more up his alley. No pun intended.

The girls turned to Lil'Lobo with a glare. "Things are just..."

"Awkward." I finished for Cissie. "I've been gone for a while and this isn't easy on any of us."

Superboy's eyes shifted and I could smell the guilt coming off of him in waves. Nightwing edged to the door and escaped quietly. For a second I envied him, but I think they would have all noticed if I tried to 'escape'. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Why don't we all just try to put the past behind us?"

Superboy looked up and I smiled at him. "I'm serious. Bygones and everything, I hold no grudges and we all just let this little angst thing go."

"Really?" he asked.

"Really really."

He smiled at me and his eyes lit up. Deep blue eyes the color of the sky after a good rain. Stormy blue I think they would call it, and deep within them there was relief. I nodded. "Why don't we put some music on?"

Cissie jumped up but Impulse beat her to the stereo. I flinched as discordant music filled the air but I still managed a blatantly false smile. "That's better."

Superboy laughed and clapped me on the back. "Nothing but the best for the birthday boy."

Over his head Secret chewed upon her lip and beseeched me with her eyes. She sensed what I could. Every time he said the word birthday...the rank smell of depression would float through the air. I nodded at her. Yes, I would talk to him. Let him know that he wasn't as alone as he thought.

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Cissie and Cassie, true to my earlier belief, practically hung on me all evening as we entered the large lobby area. With the exception of Lil'Lobo and Nightwing they all sat close, hanging on my every word. Continuously asking me if I wanted anything. Wanting to bring me more cake that I never ate. Bringing me drinks I never drank.

Meanwhile, I fought off visions of taking the knife from the cake and slitting their skin before licking the blood sweetened by too much sugar. Tasting the cake and soda as I kissed...I shook myself and tried to concentrate on other things.

Lil'Lobo sat in front of the television and ignored all of us while Nightwing sat on the outside porch looking up at the stars. His thermal insulated suit keeping him warm despite the cold. Occasionally, I would glance out of the window to check on him, not that he needed me to.

Secret hovered near the ceiling, silently laughing, as our friends pretty much fawned over me. I knew that I needed to learn to control the 'presence' tradiradiated from me, but I have to admit that the attention was nice.

Cissie whispered in my ear and I could feel her hot breath. I backed up with a smile and tried to pull the power back in. I didn't have much in the way of morals but even I knew that she was too young to play the game that she was starting, too young for a mortal human to play with a member of the undead society. She was still my friend and I didn't want to end up hurting her.

A vague look crossed her eyes as she looked up at me in confusion. Slowly and with a deep blush she pulled back and sat on the opposite couch. Secret smirked at me above Cissie's head and nodded. Eventually one by one my sudden 'fans' began to pull back and sit farther away.

Lil'Lobo looked back at me over his shoulder. "Bout time!"

I snorted. Lil'Lobo was a kid again but I should have realized that he might have crossed paths with my kind before. There was very little in the universe that he hadn't seen yet. A vampire was pretty low on his list of concerns I imagine.

I found myself staring at the back of his head and wondering if he missed the stars. I missed them. They had been strangely silent that night and I missed their chatter. What would it be like to be able to ride among the stars unfettered? Secret cleared her throat and I yanked my eyes away from our resident bad ass.

I looked at the scattered bottles and plates around him and realized that HE was the one that had finished off everything that they brought me over the course of the evening. He turned to give me a subtle thumb's up and turned back to the television.

What in the beginning of the evening could have been considered an uncomfortable silence was now companionable as we watched videos and chatted quietly. The room was dark except the glow of the television. I heard the door open behind me and felt, rather than saw, Nightwing enter the room and pass us to enter the kitchen. Beside me Superboy quietly ate popcorn as I watched.

His aura was dark and I could literally see the depression that hung at the edges of his being. In front of him a small piece of my birthday cake sat untouched and I watched as Impulse grabbed it and devoured it in seconds.

A youthful face framed by raven hair. He had a nice build, bigger than mine and more muscular. A single gold hoop earring glinted in his left ear as the television flickered between scenes. I found my arm moving to the back of the couch behind him and he turned to me with a raised eyebrow. I pretended to continue watching the television as he scooted a little closer to me.

The low hiss called, taunting me, wanting me to take it. Deadly. The same call that had driven Dracula to his death, perhaps he hadn't been stupid...instead he had been weak, too weak to deny the allure.

Nearby, Secret rolled her eyes amused. I turned my head away from Kon and stuck my tongue out at her. She stifled a laugh turning back to the television.

Carefully, one of my hands found its way to Kon's shoulder, lightly stroking it with just my fingertips. From the corner of my eye I could see him begin to bite his lip. I had never seen him so nervous. I rubbed tiny little circles just barely touching him. He squirmed beside me and I felt a blast of heat from him. The rush of blood as his heart sped up made me slightly dizzy as I began to stroke the length of his shoulder more firmly. I listened as his breathing became more ragged and felt him turn toward me, looking at me. I continued to watch the television but pressed him closer to my side. Hands in his lap, he began to twist his fingers, pulling on each long digit as he began to fidget.

Confusion. He was confused and not in the good let's-go-experiment type of way. I squeezed his shoulder and released him lowering the concentration I had directed at him. Slowly, he began to relax again as his attention refocused on the movie.

I looked over at Secret and she sighed and mouthed the words 'Talk to him...later.'

I nodded. I had promised. I would talk to him. Though sex would have been way easier and more fun...and involved less talking. Damn.

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The movie ended and the lights came back on prompting all of us to blink back sudden spots. The tape whirled in the VCR as we all stood up to stretch. Impulse zoomed out of the room and was back in a second with a new drink.

"I liked that!" Cissie chirped while brushing stray popcorn kernels from her lap.

"Really? I thought it was kinda stupid and boring!" Impulse said. He tossed his now empty drink in the nearby trashcan and ran for more chips. "The plot sucked, it may as well have been written by a bored and demented housewife. And soppy...?"

"It was a love story!" Cissie defended as she sat back down on the couch.

"A love story? A twisted love story!" Anita countered grabbing some of the chips from Impulse.

"What should we watch next?" Cassie asked.

Superboy stretched and threw his bag of empty popcorn into the trash. He glanced at me and I could see the red heat creep into his cheeks. He cleared his throat and looked away quickly slipping off into the kitchen.

I ignored them as they all discussed and argued about the movie. Instead, I quietly followed Superboy into the kitchen. Nightwing sat at the table reading a paper and I attempted to smile at him. My smile froze as he folded up his paper and left the room without a word. Shaking my head I turned instead to Kon who had watched silently.

"What is his problem?" Kon asked as he washed his hands at the sink.

"He has a stick up his ass and I haven't figured out yet how to pull it out."

Superboy blinked at me as he processed what I said. "Oh."

He shook his hands and grabbed a dishtowel, thoughtfully drying them as he leaned against the counter.

I sat down at the table and noted the warmth that still clung to the seat. Idly, I picked up Dick's discarded newspaper. On the front page in big headlines read, 'JOKER SUES SYSTEM'.

I scanned through the story and sighed. Joker had found some lawyers who had taken his case against the city of Gotham and the state. He was suing on the basis that they had violated his rights. The case was thin and there was no way he could actually win, but the lawyers had managed to arrange that he be returned to Gotham City for the case from the Slab in Antarctica.

I folded the paper up and tossed it across the table. "How have you been?"

Kon looked up at me and shrugged. "Fine."

He threw the towel onto the counter and folded his arms across his chest.

"Secret has been worried about you." I toyed with a mug that was still filled with what had once been hot chocolate. The marshmallows had long since melted and I looked down into the gooey mess that floated on top.

"She worries about everyone." Kon snorted. "I'm fine, really. Guess I'm just a little down about the whole...birthday and aging thing. That's all."

"Hm." I said noncommittal.

Kon pushed away from the counter and sauntered to the refrigerator. He pulled out two Cokes and tossed me one. I caught it and put it on the table while he tapped the top of his before opening it.

"I mean, I know Secret isn't going to age but..." he began.

"But it is different because no one looks at her and thinks...she's just a kid. After all, she is a ghost?" I finished for him.

"Yeah!" He sat down beside me. "I mean... I'm going to still be carded when I am an old man! How fair is that? How am I going to have a relationship with anyone? Anyone I datll hll have to worry about being busted for statutory rape!"

I snickered. "In a lot of states the age of consent is sixteen. A lot of people would love to be stuck at sixteen..."

"Not if they actually WERE!" he growled. He swigged some soda and thumped it down on the table.

Nodding, I agreed. "Yeah, I know. I understand..."

"HOW can you say that? How can you possibly understand what I'm going through!" he exploded. He stood up and started to pace. "NO one knows what it is like..."

"Se wan wanted me to explain..." I started.

But he interrupted me. "Secret is a sweet little...ghost...but she still doesn't understand..."

I stood up and grabbed his arm as he passed me. "KON! Will you PLEASE sit down and listen!"

He threw himself down in the chair and glared up at me. I reached out and squeezed his shoulder gently before sitting back down next to him. "Kon. I do understand..."

I shushed him as he once more began to protest. "Listen! Today...was more for you guys...than for me. I have no use for birthdays anymore. Birthdays...celebrate life. They celebrate how long you have lived. They celebrate that you have lived throughout the year and anticipate the coming year. Kind of like saying...congrats you are still alive!"

I swallowed hard as he looked at me in confusion. "Secret wanted me to talk to you because I DO understand. Kon...I...will never age again. I'm stuck at sixteen, too..."

"If this is a joke it isn't funny!" he told me in a tight voice and I could sense the anger beginning to build around him. His eyes narrowed and his face tightened and as he clenched his fists I knew that he was ready to come to blows.

"It isn't a joke, and I'm not trying to be funny." I said seriously. "In October...something happened. I want to tell you Kon. I want to tell you what happened but you have to SWEAR that you will NEVER tell anyone. Can you do that?"

I grabbed his fist and held it in both of mine. I wanted to will him into swearing but knew that he needed to do it of his own accord. I tried to instead concentrate on blanking out my mind. I didn't want to influence him in any way.

He studied me carefully. His stormy blue eyes searched my own blank ones and he seemed to try to discern what I was about to tell him by sight alone. He clasped his free hand on top of my own and he nodded. "I swear. What you tell me will never leave this room. I will never tell anyone. On my honor and on the name that Superman gave me. Kon-el."

I sighed in relief as I released his hands. "I haven't exactly been undercover. Batman thinks I have though. So anything I tell you...you can't let it get back to him."

He gaped at me. "What?"

I waved his question away and took his hands back in mine. "Kon? Do you believe in...vampires?"

He looked surprised, then shocked, finally dread covered his face and he swallowed hard. He looked away from me and seemed to concentrate on some unknown point on the linoleum. "Oh, God...no...please..."

I nodded. "Yeah."

Kon squeezed my hands tightly in his own before one of his hands found its way onto my wrist. He held it taking my pulse for a few minutes before he let it go with a hoarse sob. "Oh Robbie..."

"It isn't so bad..." It sounded lame even to me.

"How did this happen?" He pulled my hands up to his lips and seemed to try to warm them.

"A clan attacked some co-eds during a pre-Halloween party. We were on the scene. It was a set up to draw me out so I could be turned. Ironically...I was the only casualty. Batman doesn't know though!" I warned him. "He thinks it was a kidnapping of a sort. My secret identity has been declared dead and was buried after the funeral. Batman thinks that I was drugged then dug up and taken to their headquarters. He thinks they tried to brainwash me and that I've been working with Nighg tog to bring them down..."

Kon nodded. "He would lose it, wouldn't he? If he knew? Superman, he told me that Bats almost lost it when the other Robin died..."

"Yes, and he was well on his way to 'losing' it again before I came back. He thinks that I'm infiltrating the 'vampire cult'."

Kon nodded and his eyes seemed unnaturally bright. They shimmered in the light and he cleared his throat often. Sadness. It has its own distinct scent.

"Don't be sad. It's okay!" I told him. "There is a reason for this to have happened. I'm needed."

I probably sounded so pathetic because he tried to smile at me but it was weak and it didn't reach his eyes.

"Robbie, you're dead. How can that be okay?"

"I'm getting used to it." I smirked. "There's some...advantages I've found...drawbacks, too...but I'm learning. I'll be okay. It will be okay."

He shook his head and the scent of his grief was still strong in the air. I sighed and sat back in my chair.

"How did you discover vampires anyway?" I asked.

"Superman has tangled with some in the past." He continued to squeeze my hands. He would relax his grip then squeeze them. Relax, squeeze, and repeat. It was almost as though he were trying to get my blood to start flowing by sheer force of will.

"Hm, yeah, I heard! Dracula, dumb ass, but what do you expect of someone from the Tremere clan?"

"Clan?"

"Well, there are different types. Each with their own abilities and traits, sometimes with their own agenda." I told him.

"I know that he said their face changed when they would get ready to bite." he hedged.

"That's true of most of the clans..." I nibbled my lip. "Has he ever...fought any...insane vampires?"

"Does your face change?" He looked up at me.

"Yeah."

In a moment of mischievousness I let my fangs drop and felt the small cramp in my face. He gasped and reared back. "Whoa!"

I smoothed my face and felt the fangs disappear with a shrug. "Don't worry I haven't eaten on anything human, just animals and bagged blood. Believe it or not, there is a whole market out there that just caters to the supernatural that need blood to survive."

"Wow, oh, yeah, um no I don't think the vamps he went against were insane. At least not in the lock them up at Arkham way, more in the let's take on Superman way."

"Yeah, that is kinda stupid." I laughed. "No one in his or her right mind takes him on."

"Uh, I think that they used magic." Superboy let go of my hands slowly and picked up his drink.

"Tremere. Yeah, they tend to get power hungry once in a while. They just don't have the finesse that Ventrue have."

"Ventrue?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Ventrue are like the businessmen of the vamp world. Corporate takeovers are more their style. Less bloodshed and more effective, bloodthirsty in their own right though. What they want, they get. And not always legally but it is almost always impossible to prove. They would give Wayne Enterprises and Lexcorp a run for their money if they wanted to. They chose not to though. It might endanger the Masquerade. That is what we call it. The Masquerade keeps humans from knowing we exist."

"They don't sound like a bunch I would want to run into...they sound scarier than the Tremeres you were talking about." Kon laughed. "A bad guy with a business planner is always to be feared."

"We aren't all bad." I frowned. "Most of us just want to get by."

"What clan are you?" Superboy asked.

I closed my eyes and took a purposeful breath. Shame. I felt shame for what I was at that moment. I opened my eyes to find Superboy staring at me and I was forced to look away.

"Robin?" he asked.

"It is okay." I whispered. "I'm just not exactly...proud of what I am."

"Your clan?" he asked. "Why?"

"We are the laughingstocks of the vampire world, and with good reason. There isn't another clan in the Camarilla that wants to deal with us if they can avoid it." I pushed the mug on the table around with my finger. "I even make Nightwing nervous. I take that back...I piss him off and he doesn't understand me. He doesn't trust me."

Superboy laid his hand over my own. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Malkavian, Kon. I'm a Malkavian vampire. I think that is the first time I've said it out loud." I sighed. I felt like a large boulder had rolled over on top of me.

"That sounds...um...neat. At least it is a neat name." He tried.

"We are...insane."

He blinked at me and opened his mouth then closed it several times before he finally forced out, "You don't seem insane."

I snorted. "It has been a very difficult evening. It is like playing a part. Everything that comes into my mind I have to weigh whether or not it is appropriate to say or do. It...has been...difficult."

"You can't be yourself in other words?" He asked. "I mean...you can't relax because you are afraid that we'll discover your problems? That we will turn you away?"

I pulled my hand out from under his and turned away. "It wouldn't be the first time I was turned away, Kon."

Silence.

"I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that." I whispered.

"No, you are right. At least about me. I turned you away when you didn't deserve it. I won't make that mistake again. I promise. We...we should tell the others. They won't judge you!"

I turned back to hid thd the earnestness in his eyes burned me. "Kon...The Masquerade..."

"We CAN keep secrets! We all can...you know that! Batman never trusted us and I realize that. But you KNOW we can keep your secret. Even Impulse! He has difficulties keeping his own secrets simply because he doesn't see WHY he needs to keep them!" Superboy pleaded.

I closed my eyes to try and avoid seeing him.

"Robbie...let us help you!"

I felt his hand back on mine and I was undone.

"All right. You win."

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