Crushed

*Disclaimer Blah Blah Blah, I don't own the characters, otherwise I'd be a multi-billionaire. :D*

** NOTE to the Reader: This chapter is in Wally West's Point of View. Yes, they will continue switching back and forth. Makes things interesting. Enjoy**

She hurt me. Cut me deeper than even Deathstroke's sword. She'd lied to me, manipulated me... what was I supposed to do? Laugh it off and tell her I still loved her? Not a chance. There are some things that you just can't forgive.

Until you're forced to do the same thing.

I think that's what made today so hard. I couldn't believe that she had altered my emotions, and betrayed me like that- but what hurt so much was that Barry condoned Zatanna's alteration of Batman's mind. I'd told Barry everything that had happened with Raven, and he was sympathetic; like any good father-figure should be, but even after he knew what happened to me- his vote, the deciding vote, was for mind wiping one of the Justice League's premiere members.

That's why I can forgive her. She had no choice... I wouldn't have helped her if she hadn't made me love her... And I had no choice- Barry took my choice. Of course, I never told her that I had eventually forgiven her. I never told her that even after her spell wore off- I still loved her.

I try to tell myself, almost everyday, that these feelings I have for her are just the remainder of her spell that will be with me for the rest of my life. And I believed that, until I asked Zatanna about it. Zatanna was the one who told me that I'd been manipulated in the first place, so I felt... strangely comfortable asking her to try to remove whatever was left. She looked at me hard, and dropped the bomb. She Said, "Wally... Raven's influences left you a long time ago. What you're feeling... that's you, not her." So I still loved her, love her. But I'll be damned if I was going to let that screw up the life I'd worked so hard for. And what about Linda? You can't just tell a woman who makes your heart burst with joy every time you look at her that you're still in love with some girl from your teen years who manipulated your mind. She wouldn't understand; then again, even I don't understand.

But, onto a more revelent subject- just what the hell was I doing back at Titan's Tower? That's the easy part. The cut-and-dry orders from the head-honcho's. After Superboy left the Titans devestated, the Justice League was about to step in and take their sidekicks back to their respective homes. Many of them hadn't want the Titans to reform in the first place, but I knew it would good for Bart to be around people his own age, people he didn't have to try to impress. I knew it had been good for me. So I fought for the Titans; and finally convinced the Justice League that, with a little bit of our intervention, we could get the Titans back on their feet. Of course, who gets nominated to go down there and babysit? You can bet your ass it wasn't Batman or Wonder Woman. Because I was a Titan, and I wanted them together so bad, it became my job.

So here I am. Surrounded by old friends, in familiar settings. Everything was fine, until I actually saw her. I'd tried to convince myself that since her "rebirth" so to speak, she wouldn't look the same, wouldn't be the same. She'd be a completely different person that I could deal with like a stranger. She wouldn't be as darkly beautiful, and I wouldn't feel anything when I saw her. Yeah... that plan didn't work out so well. She's still Raven. While the rest of us grew up and grew old, she was reborn into the body of a teenager again. She was just as beautiful as she was the day I met her. She did look different though- the harshness of her features had been replaced with gentle curves; but she was still Raven. And then she was gone. It was hard to believe she had even been there, but I knew where she was going- and that if I was going to help this team, I had to confront her first.

I raced up the stairs as fast as I could, which was pretty damn fast if I do say so myself. Hell, I even beat her to the roof. Just in time to watch her rise out from the floor and let her body reform. It was like watching a mermaid rise out of the water, graceful and effortless- though if any of us tried it, we'd flounder and fall like the mere humans we are. When she finally opened her eyes, when I could finally see her face, I knew she was hurt by my prescence. She was hurt that I didn't run to her and tell her I forgave her and wanted to be with her. I know she didn't expect it. I know she didn't honestly think that I would, but I also know that somewhere inside she'd been hoping for it; and hope wasn't an emotion Raven felt very often, just for this reason. The things she hopes for are... impossible.

She saw me then, and completely wiped any emotion off of her face. "I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly. All of the emotions in the room were... overwhelming."

No.. No Raven, it wasn't the emotions in the room. It was your emotions, and mine. Even one person's emotions can be overwhelming, but when you're an empath- well... it makes things even more complicated. I just nodded. Silence. I hate silence. It makes me feel like I'm been studied, in a clinic where they're going to dissect me until they know exactly what makes me tick, what makes me heart beat. "Well, you look good. You know, for a dead girl and all. " Wow. Good Job Wally. I tried to break the silence with a compliment, tried to show her there were no hard feelings anymore and it just came out all wrong. I bite my tongue.