Cage of the Heart

- More disclaimer. You know the drill. -

For the next three hours, I sat on the floor near the couch, leaned up against it while Dinah slept. I wanted, needed, to be here in case she woke up. She might wake up scared and alone, the way she had in the middle of the night a long, long time ago. She used to wake up every night around three or four in the morning and sit straight up in bed, holding my arm. At least.. when I was there. With everything that had happened, I was just as scared as she was, but unlike Dinah- I've always had problems facing what I fear the most; commitment, rejection, the hard times in relationships.. and so I ran. Ran off into the arms of other women. Repeatedly. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's what I did. When Dinah needed me the most, I wasn't there. I promised myself it would be different after I came back from the dead- after all, she was.. is.. the reason I walked out of heaven. But when she tried to get close to me, again, I shoved her aside. I cheated on her, proved to her that I was still the same man I had always been. I hurt her. And knowing that has hurt me more than any wound I've suffered. But now, now she's here, and she needs me. And I'm not going to make the same mistake a third time. Not with Dinah.

So I sat, and waited, afraid to even go to the bathroom because she might wake up and be without me for even a moment. I know, it was jsut my ego saying that she would want me there when she woke up, but.. It was something I needed to do for myself more than for her.

Finally, one hundred and eighty seven minutes later, her eyes flickered open and she kicked her feet, only to wince when she rediscovered that the right one was broken. I turned my head and gave her a little smile before turning completely around so I could face her.

"Hey Pretty Bird... You had me kinda worried there." Don't lie Ollie- you were terrified you were going to lose the love of your life without even getting her to believe what you feel for her is real. And How am I supposed to prove it to her? All I've ever done is screw up her life, and deny her the true love she's always wanted and deserved... but I truly love her..My thoughts were interupted by a soft, gentle,

"Thank you, Oliver." She gave me half a smile, and lay her head back on the arm of the sofa, wincing when the cut on her lip tugged at itself and threatened to reopen- if it wasn't for the stitches I'd managed to arrange inside her mouth. I shrugged a little in response.

"It's nothing you wouldn't have done for me, Dinah." God how I love her. I couldn't bare to see her in so much pain, the grimace on her face just from that smile. I gave a bit of a sigh to myself- why wasn't I there to help her? To save her? Always too late. Always too slow, old man. But I had to put on a brave face for Dinah- she always did the same for me. With my most charming smile I turned back to look at her. "How ya feeling?"

She started to shrug, but stopped with a bit of a frown. Her mind was still taking stock of all of her injuries, and she glanced down at the makeshift splints and bandages covering her body. "Alright I suppose. Not dead yet. " She fixed me with a lopsided grin, and my heart melted- all I could do was nod.

Finally I regained my control of myself and my expressions- just because she started strugging to sit up. I wrapped my arm around her waist and helped pull her into an upright position. Despite her body's protests, Dinah sat up, and leaned back against the couch. Then frowned down at her legs before glancing at me.

"I could really go for a shower.." She started to move to get on her feet, but fell- onto her knees, and my hands immediately grabbed her hips to keep her from hurting her leg any further. She winced, and I could tell she was gritting her teeth, "Looks like I'll have to settle for a bath." Without any further ado, I lifted her into my arms as gently as possible. Our only actual bathtub was upstairs, connected to the master bedroom- my bedroom. Just the simple act of carrying Dinah to my bedroom reminded me of happier days- of Seattle, and long nights that seemed all too short.. honeyed thighs and silk sheets. I shook my head quickly, to push those thoughts out of my mind. Dinah'd almost died about an hour ago, and now all I could think about was how fast I could get her into my bed. Just perfect. I'm such an idiot.

I still had to run water for her to climb into, and I thought about setting her on the bed to be more comfortable while I did so- but I didn't want to her feel at all rushed, nor did I want her to think that the only reason I'd bother to patch her up was for sex. That wouldn't be good at all. Instead I set her down in the largest, most comfortable, overstuffed chair I had- usually used for my late night reading or research on villians and... well- just about anything. She slid out of my arms easily.. and I wondered if it had always been so easy to put her down. I mean, it was natural for me to set her down so lightly, to hold her so tenderly, when in my heart all I wanted to do was hold her close- to never let go, and never make her walk again if she didn't feel like it. Dinah's an independant girl though- she would never be happy with that kind of doting lover, and I'm not usually one to obsess so much. She was already half asleep again when I set her in the chair, and didn't move except to pull herself further into the chair. I had the briefest thought of leaning down and kissing her forehead, her cheek or just a peck on the lips- but we weren't together anymore.. and that would be overstepping my boundries as a protective friend and crossing into lovers.... she didn't want that. She didn't want me anymore.

I excused myself to the bathroom- even though it was so difficult to turn my back on her. Squatting down on the tile, I stuck my hand under the water as it ran hot over my hands. While the tub filled up, I leaned back against the wall of the bathroom and had to put my hands over my face. With a brief tug on my hair, I pushed up off the floor and headed back into the bedroom. Dinah stirred, she was waking again. I smiled when those blue eyes finally landed on me again. "Ready for a dip, pretty bird?" She smiled again and held her arms up to me- and I leapt at the chance to hold her again. It took a little manuevering to put us both in the bathroom- but we managed it, without jarring Dinah's broken body too much.

It was a little awkward, since I had to set Dinah down on the edge of the tub in order to help her undress. That in itself was awkward- but it shouldn't be... we've seen each other completely nude before.. but somehow this is different. Maybe it's because I'm not undressed- maybe it's because Dinah's hurt, maybe it's because now we're still trying to adjust to being "just friends." Anyway you look at it- it was awkward... for me at least, Dinah does well to hide her awkwardness. It doesn't really matter anymore anyway, does it?

Carefully, I helped her into the tub- where she flinches and tenses up. The hot water was seeping into her wounds and stitches. I know how bad that hurts.

For some reason I couldn't help myself- I stared at her for a while. I knelt down on the floor next to the bathtub, staring at Dinah, who's eyes were closed. Everything about her was beautiful. Absolutely amazing. Her blonde hair, black roots begining to show through, framing her face like a fading halo. Those blue eyes, amazingly clear and vunerable- like the sky. Vast, expansive, all incompasing. Eyes that see everything under the sun, but somehow remain pure. Delicate, broken nose, and her split, kissable lips. I could go on for ages just about her perfections- of couse, it's the imperfections that make her all the more gorgeous to me. Like the fact that her roots are showing. Like how she took hits to her beautiful face and kept fighting, like the way she's staring at me as if I'm crazy..

And that's when I snap out of it- right when my hand was raising to push back her hair. Quickly, trying to play it off, I stretch and stand up. "So uh.... I'll let you take your bath." I mutter, nodding and started to turn to walk out. Man I'm an idiot... And right when I was about to get lost into another mindless ranting pity-party, that's when she speaks up and says,

"You don't have to go."

I think my heart almost burst.