The Despero Intersection

"Oh-My-God!"  "Mmm... Hubba-hubba."  "You're recording this, right?"  "You bet."  "I just got religion. This is irrefutable proof that there's a God," whimpered Blue Beetle, drooling rather literally. "How else can you explain something so, so... PERFECT?"  "Just look at those legs, man. Long, smooth, muscular, but not too thick..." said Booster Gold. "And that ass! Ouch... Who needs bracelets? That butt can deflect gunfire for sure."  "Butt? I haven't reached there yet!" said Beetle.  "Can't take my eyes off the tits. Damn, even Fire's rack can't compare to that."  "Not as big as Power Girl or Scott's wife, I  think, but much more prominent and high-set."  "How can those jugs even fit in there? How big  you guess those babies are?"  "Mmm... About 38D."  "No way! Look at 'em, those gotta be at least  a forty inch set! Look at how plump and round they are!"  "Exactly, you idiot. It's not the size. You  can see tits twice as big in any strip club-"  "You can? Where?"  "-but they just look gross, man. It's the  shape and proportion that counts, how naturally round and high-"  "And firm but still jiggly..." gasped Beetle,  biting his knuckles.  "She has a broad back and a very narrow waist,  too. That makes it all look even more impressive."  "That top has no straps or anything. Just how  the hell does it stay on?"  "Um, you're right. That's one mayor superpower  there."  "Can you zoom in a bit? I think I can notice  the nipples."  "You weren't breast-fed as a baby, right? Stop  obsessing over individual parts, man! It's the complete package that matters! Look at that face! That hair!"  "Can't help it. I'm a mammal," whined Beetle.  "Look at them. There can't be a greater pair of boobs in the whole world."  "I can think of a pair right in front of me,"  said a deep voice behind them.  Booster and Beetle both turned around instantly,  the monitor room chairs swiveling to face the tall, imposing green figure of J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter.  "Uh-Hi, J'onn, how's it hanging?" said Beetle  with a way too eager, way too toothy smile.  "I may hang the two of you if you cannot behave  yourselves," said J'onn, his eyes narrowed menacingly below his protruding Martian brow. Inside, however, J'onn smiled. Irritating as the behavior of the team's resident comedians could be, it was hard to remain angry for long. "The monitors are not for staring at a visitor's anatomy."  "Shouldn't we always check for uh, concealed  weapons or something? Just in that cleavage..."  "Beetle, please show some respect."  "Aw, come on, you know I'm always a perfect  gentleman," said Beetle, while Booster wished very hard to vanish into the JLI Embassy's carpeting.  "Yes, Beetle, and the video camera Fire found  in her shower was just a mistake, I am sure."  "You bet! It should have been hidden a lot  better. Uh-Anyway, Kilowog did it."  "Kilowog is not an Earthling, Beetle, why would  he have any interest in Fire's unclothed form?"  "Maybe he was hungry or something? You've seen  how that guy eats."  "Uh," volunteered Booster. "Perhaps Kilowog was  just beefing up security and couldn't tell apart the different types of rooms, being an alien and all, you know."  "Are you implying that all non-Earthlings are  ignorant fools?" J'onn asked softly, his seven feet of massive green muscles towering over his teammates' sitting figures.  "No, no! Culture shock. That's what I meant."  "Well, you two may be in for some mayor shocks  if you embarrass us again, understood?"  J'onn glanced at the monitor screen showing the  Embassy's foyer, where League administrators Maxwell Lord and Oberon were greeting Princess Diana of the Amazons, better known worldwide as Wonder Woman. She was dressed in her usual brief attire homaging the American flag colors, with golden-plated bustier and star-spangled bottom, plus knee-high boots, tiara and bracelets. She was carrying a small duffel bag, too. With a casual psychokinetic pulse, J'onn turned the monitor off.  "Alright, Booster, you come with me to greet the  Princess," J'onn said. "Beetle, you remain here on monitor duty. Try to stay out of trouble."  "On, man, no!" Beetle pouted. "That's not fair!  Why Booster and not me?"  "Good point. You both stay here, then."    **********************************************    "It would be a pleasure to have you stay with us, Wonder Woman," Maxwell Lord said, while he shook hands with the beautiful Amazon Princess. "The Justice League's Embassies are open at all times for you."  "Thank you, Mr. Lord," Wonder Woman answered  with a dazzling smile, shouldering the duffel bag she carried. "It is only for a couple of days, until I can address the United Nations committee."  *That must have been practiced. No one could  smile like THAT just on natural talent,* Max thought, smiling himself with well-polished charm. A successful life in high finance, and his recent handling of the new Justice League International, had allowed Max to meet more than his share of the most beautiful women in the world. Few could compare to the bright-eyed young woman now facing him, but at least he could avoid staring.  Oberon tried to do the same, but he lacked Max's  nonchalance, as well as his height. Being less than four feet tall, he had to step back and crane his neck to better look at the girl's face past the prominence of her bust, as he sought to find an innocuous angle of sight. No easy task, he realized. There was a lot to stare at on that girl.  *Crotch's right in front of my face, for God's  sake! And that damned star-spangled bottom could hardly be skimpier!* Oberon thought, shifting on his feet uneasily, sticking his hands into the pockets of his pleated pants to make his growing erection less noticeable. It was not like him to behave this way, he chided himself. *So she's cute and has nice tits? Big deal, Fire's always around half naked, too, and Scott's wife's not called Big Barda just 'cause she's tall.*  "Nonsense, you are welcome to stay for as long  as you wish," Max said, leading her to the drawing room. "We were quite devastated when you resigned from our European branch, after the Extremists' situation. Your presence was such a great asset."  *Boy, Max's really laying it on thick,* Oberon  thought, feeling relieved as they all sat down, and he could place his hands over his lap.  "I have been too busy to commit to a group,  Mr. Lord. But I would be happy to help the League whenever I can."  "If you're going back into our reserve line-up,  we should give you a new signal device, Wonder Woman," Oberon commented, looking up nervously as she crossed her legs gracefully. *Jeez, not even Black Canary had legs like that...*  "Oh, please call me Diana," she said, smiling  at him. "Thank you."  "Oberon, I, uh, am Oberon," he said in a voice  that threatened to break, feeling dumbstruck by her smile.  "Like the Faerie?"  "Fairy?" Oberon asked, frowning.  "The Lord of the Faerie realm. The playwright  Shakespeare featured him in a play in the English language, did he not? As well as a character named after my mother, Hypolita."  *Jesus on a pogo stick. All that and brains, too.*  "You should catch up on your reading some  dreamless midsummer night, Oberon," said J'onn J'onzz with a smile as he walked into the room. "Princess."  "J'onn!," Diana said, rising up to warmly take  his hands into hers. "I had not seen you since the Invasion."  "It is good to have you here without need for a  crisis, Princess."  "Hello, I am Scott Free, Mister Miracle, the  world's greatest escape artist."  "Yes, we had met, Mr. Free," said Diana, as  she shook hands with the red-and-yellow garbed figure who had just walked in, following J'onn.  J'onn glanced at Mister Miracle with some  confusion. He had not felt Scott walking behind him. Scott's mind was typically much more guarded than a normal Earthling's, and J'onn always kept his telepathic senses politely restrained among friends, yet to be fully unaware of a mental presence was very unusual.  "Scotty, my boy," Oberon said, cheerfully.  "Weren't you supposed to be starting that foreign tour today? Or did that lousy agent blow it again?"  "I could find you better representation,"  Max volunteered.  "The tour will go as scheduled." Mister  Miracle told Oberon flatly, with none of the warmth he usually reserved for his old friend and former assistant. "There is nothing wrong."  "Hey, Scott's here, too," another voice  interrupted.  "Beetle, weren't you two supposed to remain  on monitor duty?," asked J'onn with a resigned tone.  "Kilowog dropped by and relieved us," said  Beetle with a shameless smile as he stepped forward to shake Wonder Woman's hand, sucking in his gut as much as he could. "Miss Woman, uh, Princess Di, so glad to have you here."  >>>Beetle, try not to drool on the Princess's  boots, please.<<< J'onn's telepathic voice resonated inside Beetle's head.  *I can't hump her leg, either?* thought Beetle  in reply, his smile threatening to outgrow his face, while he made a conscious but not too strenuous effort to avoid peeking at the Amazon's cleavage.  "Your Highness," said Booster, nudging Beetle  aside with his shoulder as he bent to kiss her hand, running through his mind a myriad pick-up lines never yet heard in the 20th Century, before finally settling for an aged classic of lameness. "You honor us with your presence."  "There really is no need for such formality-"  said Diana, feeling very embarrassed.  "Beetle, it'll take half an hour more to rewire  all monitors to record in X-ray," said the hugely muscled, eight-foot-tall former Green Lantern called Kilowog, entering the room with his toolbox in hand.  "Oh, hullo, Miss," he added, wiping his  oversized hand on his greasy denim overalls before offering it to the surprised Wonder Woman.  J'onn sighed. Sometimes it was hard to tell if  they were all playacting or being fools sincerely. Often he couldn't see any difference.  *At least Gardner is not here to make things  worse,* he thought.  "Hey! Miss Wonder Boobs's here!" exclaimed Guy  Gardner as he walked by the corridor, a six-pack of beer in one hand and a plain brown package in the other. "Now why doesn't anyone inform me of shit like that? I woulda taken a bath or sumthin'!"  And then the sprinklers turned on.