No Dating for the Batman

Disclaimer: If you recognize the character, we don't own it and aren't making any money from this story.
 

Part Three: Lucky Bastard

"What's Bats doing at this address?" Green Arrow was finishing up his Monitor Duty that night at the Watchtower.

Flash had just whizzed in, ready to take over. He glanced at the monitor for a second, appearing unconcerned, a donut in his left hand. "C'mon, Green Arrow. It's Gotham! Y'know, 'Dark Knight' and all that? That's where he hangs, man."

"But he's been at this address for quite some time, and there's no movement. Could he be trapped?"

Despite himself, Flash looked thoughtful and wolfed the donut down. "Well, I suppose…let me look at the address again."

Green Arrow pointed at the screen. Flash frowned.

"That looks familiar… 'Gotham Place', huh? That's an expensive address… wait. I remember. Diana… Diana had said she was subletting a place from…" suddenly Flash stifled a guffaw.

"Yeah, trapped. Don't worry. I'm sure Bats can handle this… situation." He's a billionaire and he's screwing his Amazon princess girlfriend.

I hate him.

Green Arrow suddenly realized Flash was smirking. "Did you just say Diana?" He let out a low whistle. "Well. I'll be damned." It was Green Arrow's turn to try to keep a straight face. "About time, too. And Lord, is she one fine piece of a-…"

Flash interjected. "…incredibly strong and feminist…"

Green Arrow was nodding vigorously. "...as you were saying, the Bats can handle h-… I mean, handle the situation." His hands were tracing some fairly racy curves.

Flash finally let out a burst of laughter. "Assuming this 'situation' doesn't put him in traction by the end." Lucky bastard.

Green Arrow had an incredulous smile. "Man, I'd be scared. I mean, she's from an island full of immortal women! When was the last time – I mean, if she's never had any – or hasn't gotten any since a gazillion B.C.…" He was actually sweating. "Ah, hell, if he dies – what a way to go. But I always figured her for Supes, though. I mean, they flirt a lot."

"Nah, I don't think so. Mostly, I think they just do it just to piss off Bats. You know Supes loves to yank his chain. And Diana's always game. I think she enjoys bantering with Supes – he's the one man she can't just crush like a pathetic bug."

Green Arrow smiled. "Yeah, you gotta watch out for the Big Red S. Don't let the 'all-American hero' thing fool you. I swear, one of these days he and Bats are finally gonna whip 'em out and get rulers." Flash was holding on to the back of the chair, nearly doubled over.

"And with that pleasant image," Green Arrow continued, "I'll be off. See ya later, Speedy." He looked back, a look of mock parental concern on his face. "Don't get too excited, all right kid?"

Flash's response was both jovial and profane.

* * *