Reading Minds

Disclaimer: This is essvan's brain. I take no responsibility for the actions of the one you know as 'essvan' He is a lunatic, and I will have nothing to do with him. We have not communicated in some time now, actually...Oh yes: Don't, won't, I wish.
Note from essvan: Don't listen to him-and to all you young ladies...please send photos to me, preferably without...ouch! Stop it! Stupid brain!
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Props: (Note: essvan writes these wise-ass remarks, not me.)
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Gigafighter: Hey! I know your real name! Be nice!
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U fucker: Thanks for having my back, man! ~Vinnie~
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Love Guardian: I do not understand your Earth-slang...what is 'Pronto?'
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sexy pancake: Thanks! I had me laughing hard, too! Probably why there were so many typos...
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capcomfreak4life: Ummm...you are under my power...uh...if you are female, send me a naked picture of you...er...if you are male, send a naked pic of your girlfriend...uh...
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milenkoschild: Huh? Lemon? What story are you reading?
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Quichi: Reviews are amusing-please continue!
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Shmee: Just 'interesting?' Well, I'll try harder to be 'amusing'...
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Shmee again: Hee hee-knew you'd come around...
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Fidam: I'm glad you think my story is 'fucked up'...I guess...?
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Me!: Are you really me? Or are I me? Danke schon, mein uber-komrad.
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Love Guardian: What? You just love the story, and not me? Uncharacteristic? Are you kidding? I only write strictly realistic dialogue...
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Random Person: 'Good-different?' Thanks, I think... Your review, although different, was much appreciated. In a good way...
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On to the story!
Part 6, entitled:
'Get a room!'
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(Raven narrating.)(Confused? Raven is 'Me.' Ouch! Brain, you shithead! They said they were confused!)
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When I came downstairs at 5:30, Starfire was still attacking Cyborg on the couch.
Oh, I'm sorry-did I skip that part? Let's rewind a little...
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...E...A...R...L...I...E...R...
Cyborg: "So, Star baby-what'cha wanna do...?" (Sauntering out into the great room.)
Thought: 'Hmmm, maybe a movie-bet she'll let me hold her hand...'
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Starfire: "Let us begin with the kissing-"
Thought: 'whoohoo!'
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Cyborg: (Backing up.) Ummm-now?"
Thought: 'Did I put on 'anti...?' Do I need 'anti...?'
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Starfire: (Leaping on Cyborg, causing him to fall backwards, onto the couch with Starfire on top of him.) "NOW! snarl."
Thought: 'Are all Earth-boys are such chickenshits?'
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Cyborg: "Mrghrrrphmm!"
Thought: 'Wow! Man, them thangs are big! I wonder if I could like-mm-grab 'em...?'
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There, now that you are all caught up to date...shall we continue?
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...B...A...C...K...O...N...T...H...E...C...O...U...C...H
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Cyborg didn't seem to be too upset with Starfire’s being so-uh-forward, though...
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Cyborg: "Mmgghrrhhphhhnnn..."
Thought: '-can't-breathe-'
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Starfire: "Mmgghrrhhphhhnnn..."
Thought: 'Are you feeling theexitement from my attentions-or is that a hydraulic jack...?'
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Me: "Ugh."
Thought: 'Run away...'
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Beastboy: "Whoa! Dudes-get a room!"
Thought: 'I sure hope Raven can't tell what I'm thinking right now...'
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Robin: "Hey guys! What's going-onnnn..."
Thought: 'Dudes-get a room!'
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Me: "Star and Cy have discovered teen lust. Me and 'B' are going to a movie. And, no-you are not invited."
Thought: 'Pick up your tongue-oh, and watch where you put that hand-'
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Beastboy's thought: 'Just be cool. Don't say anything stupid. Don't say anything.'
Beastboy: "She called me 'B!' Cool! Oh shit-that was supposed to be another thought... ."
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My thought: '-sniff-my little 'Beastboy' is growing up-'
Me: "Later, 'Pooh.'"
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Robin: "-k-gluuu-"
Thought: '-he's-he's grabbing her ass-Wait- 'Pooh?'- 'B?'"
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Cyborg: "Mrghrrrphmm."
Thought: 'Must-get-a-room-'
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Starfire: "Have a wonderful ti-Eeeeek! Mmwwrhrrr..."
Thought: 'Do that again, my hard man of titanium!'
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'Dickie's' thought: 'Sigh-cold shower-again...'
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Me: "Bye, Star-later Cy."
Thought: 'Ugh-Get a room!'
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On to the fun!
The new, improved, exciting chapter entitled:
'Wanna See My Tennis Racket?'
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...OFF...TO...THE...MOVIES...WITH...BB...AND...RAVEN...
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Me: "That's okay, BB-I can fly by myself, I don't need you to carry me..."
Thought: 'Did you miss the part about not touching me...especially there...!'
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Beastboy: "Uh huh huh...sorry, Rae."
Thought: 'Everyone thinks I am so dumb-but I'm not! Wait-yes, I am-crap-.'
Beastboy: "Sooooo-what are we going to see?"
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Me: "We are going to see the latest Star Trek flick-'Son of Tribble."
My Thought: 'Terrifying in concept-but not scary-no excuse for veggie-man to grab me...again..."
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Beastboy: "But dude! How can you tell which one is the rabid Tribble, and which one is Shatner's rug?"
Thought: 'I hope she at least lets me sit in the same row with her, this time...'
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...A short flight later...Downtown, at the old Bijou cinema...

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Beastboy: (Horrified, eyes wide.) Noooo!
Thought: 'Gaaakk!'
Beastboy: You can't be serious! You don't want anything? No Skittles; no seven layered popcorn with triple salt? No-(sniffle)-chocolate?
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My Thought: 'Lovely picture, that-gray skin with zits.'
Me: "You know what? There is something I would like: get me a bottled water."
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...T...I...M...E...After...T...I...M...E...
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Me: "Lets sit in the back, so we won't get hit with 'food,' as you call it..."
My Thought: '-thrown by people with your juvenile sense of humor-'
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Beastboy: "Ummm-so is it-"
Thought: 'Just go, pussy!'
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Me: "Yes, you can sit by me. Right next to medonottouchme!"
My Thought: 'Touch me-hold my hand; sneak your arm around me; grab my...Hey! Cut that shit out! Lust, I am gonna kick you ass!
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Lust-Raven: 'You know you want it.'
Happy-Raven: 'Love-isn't it wonderful?'
Despair-Raven: 'He probably won't do anything anyway-he doesn't really like me...'
Hate-Raven: 'Hey-I wanted popcorn!'
Bored-Raven: 'Who picked this 'thrilling' movie?'
Smartass-Raven: 'Ask dumbass, over there...'
Bookworm-Raven: 'It makes perfect sense: we don't want him to-er-touch us-'
Booyah, Happy, Lust, Despair, Hate, Bored, Smartass: 'Yes, we do!'
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Me: (I think) "Just shut the hell up, already! Okay! Groping! Fine-blow up the whole fucking universe, for all I care! Just get back in your fucking hole! You're perverted! Damn you! Leave-me-alone!"
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Beastboy: (In falsetto voice.) "Um-should I go away, now...?"
Thought: 'Shit! She's gonna kick my ass, and I didn't even do anything! I didn't even think anything yet, honest!'
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Me: "I was just thinking out loud-it's okay, BB."
My Thought: (exerting a little mental 'suggestion') 'And all the rest of you voyeuristic freaks in the theatre-turn around. Yes, that's right-obey, or suffer horrible damage to your cerebellum. Yes, Paul Reubens, you too-and George Michael... ."
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Beastboy: "Eeeeek!" William Shatner's head is being eaten by the Tribble!"
Thought: 'You just grabbed her arm, stupid. Say goodnight, dick...'
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Me: "It's okay, B. I think my 'emotions' are going to behave themselves tonight."
My Thought: 'Mmmm-nice gloves-go for it.'
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Beastboy: (Draping his arm around Raven.) "Hey! I didn't do that-I swear-my arm just did it on it's own!"
Thought: 'Please, Gawd: I didn't even get my scooter yet...'
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Me: "Yeah, funny how arms can sometimes do that..."
My Thought: '-when I want them to.'
Me: "Do you want to kiss me, BB? "
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Booyah, Happy, Lust, Despair, Hate, Bored, Smartass: 'Yesssssssss!'
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Beastboy: (In falsetto voice.) "Ummm-yes?"
Thought: 'Oh yeah-that sounded very manly, sheila.'
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Me: “Well?”
My Thought: 'But don't you dare grab my-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!'
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Booyah, Happy, Lust, Despair, Hate, Bored, Smartass: 'Scorrrrrre!'
Bookworm: 'I believe that plebian vernacular is generally reserved for the actual consummation of the sexual act...'
Booyah, Happy, Lust, Despair, Hate, Bored, Smartass: 'Shut the hell up!'
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Me: "You do know that is not my shoulder, right?"
My Thought: 'Did he really do that-hmmmm? Maybe there's hope for him after all.'
Me: "Well-are you going to kiss me, or are you content with just with just groping my breast?"
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Beastboy leaned in and his lips met mine... .
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My thought: 'Finally! Umm, he's pretty good at this...'
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Booyah, Happy, Lust, Despair, Hate, Bored, Smartass: 'WooHoooooo!'
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Beastboy's thought: 'WooHoooooo!'
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Me: (Breaking Beastboy’s death-grip liplock.) "Whew! That was-really-nice, 'Beast.'"
My Thought: '...go Beast: mm-hmm...'
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Beastboy: (Tears welling in his eyes.) "You-you called me 'Beast'. Not Beastboy-just 'Beast.' Did you mean that?"
Thought: 'Raven, I love you! I'll tell her! Even if she does kick my ass!'
Beast: "Raven-uh-I-uh-I-wanna tell you-Raven, I L..."
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Me: (Covering his mouth with my hand.) "Shhh. I know. Just kiss me, okay?"
My Thought: 'Let's just see if you can earn your new name, okay?'
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>B A C K A T T H E T O W E R >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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Me and Beast got home a little late. Robin was still watching TV, and hitting himself in the face with his tennis racket.
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Robin: "Ouch! Hey! You guys are home late-have a good time?"
Thought: 'Duh! Even Starfire could figure out what that shit-eating grin on Beastboy means...'
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Me: "Uh-huh."
My Thought: 'giggle.'
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Beastboy: "Yeah. We're heading up. Tired. Later."
Thought: 'I am sooo cool...heh-heh.'
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We made our way to my bedroom, past the scattered remnants of Cyborg's and Starfire's clothes.
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Me: (Kissing Beastboy) "'Night, Beast."
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Beastboy: "You mean like, 'night,' as in you go to your room, and I go to my room?"
Thought: 'Thank you, Gawd.'
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Me: "Yes, I think my emotions have had enough for one night, okay B?
My Thought: 'Sounds plausible, right? Besides the fact you look like you're about to hurl, my little green virgin...'
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See? You review, and you get 'Props!' (Brain: Essvan, you moron.)