Black Diamonds

Diary entry

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16th of May-hem, Sunday Funday

Been to Wayne Manor again.

It started out like a nighmare. The first thing he did was givin me with some shit that paralyzed me. He made me naked in the bathroom and almost drowned me in the tubb.
Then, things got out of kontrole. He left me to get drunk in the living room but I flowed him. He pretended to not be interested but why had he invited me to come to his place again, then again? I accepted the challenge, challenge accepted. He was unwilling first. It is Bruce Wayne, keep that in mind.

Eventually, he couldn’t resisst me anymore. I always win.
I did something stupid, poured half of the wyne down my ass to get shit plastered. He showed me his real self then. I’ve always suspected him to be one of them. He turned the thables and teased the hell out of me to the point it got painful. Still HRTS.
However, there was a moment when he, real HE broke through. I had always been suppressing my feels for him. I wouldn’t admit it. But that moment revealed the true nature of them when he broke through the shurface. He wanted to get to know me.
ME.

I let him glimpse me, the real me. He seemed Overwhelmed.
I don’t show it to anyone, I never did.
I never trusted anyone enough for that but this evening, things just fell into place.
He treated me with respect and kare and that was all I needed. He took it and karefully wrapped it up, neither laughing nor turning away. Nothing had ever been more Honest and purer than that moment.

And it changed everything. I had never seen him with such eyes. Things had always been crude. CRUDE. Physical, yes, yes, but not in that way. He was still in my ass and I loved it.
I have never felt so close to anyone. Confess it. And I have been hard all the time, dirty, fucking piece of shit.
But something was missing; I was afraid I’d never come. Embarrassment, shame, guilt and doubts. E, s, g, d.
He took those feelings and transformed them by acceptance. He took me just the way I AM. All my life I had wished for that, for someone who could just sea beyond, tickle my real self outta me and touch it gently and karefully.

And he took everything I gave him, he didn’t condemn me. All of my aktions, words and gestures were Honest and he appreshiated them.
I felt free. There wasn’t any fear of letting go anymore, of embarrassment or worthlessness. Wholeness. Just a natural rightness.

Then, he fucked me into ORgasm.
During those moments I felt like knowing his body In and Out. Nothing unfamiliar, avery inch, avery cell, avery move felt like I knew it.
Now I know what bliss feels like. His acceptance of ME, how I akted, what I felt, what I needed and what I gave and took; he accepted it and that helped me a lot. And being what I AM and by that pleasing him was a unik experience. No doubts, no shame, no wrong. Nd, ns, nw.

Love is a beautiful thang. He was very konsiderate of me, giving me time, karessing me, knowing how and where to touch me. For a moment, I was glad he was so Xperienced and guided me.
Now I see a kinde of beauty in his body I had never seen before. I embraced him with everything I had and he took it and cherished it. He never gave me the feeling that I was doing something Wrong or Inappropriate. He took it all. And I love him for that.
Beauty, fragileness and vulnerability. B, f, v. He took it like a vessel, mirroring me and liberating me.
I love him.
But don’t you tell him about that.

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