The Fall

THE MEAL over Jet rose to her feet and waved her arms to silence the room. "Ladies and gentlemen," she announced. "Many thanks for coming here this evening to join Robin and I in what is a very special day. "We have some spectacular entertainment for you tonight - but before the main part of the evening gets under way I would like to ask you to show some genorosity to those less fortunate than ourselves. I have four extremely rare items for auction to help a charity close to my heart. "The Released Prisoners Reintegration Foundation does sterling work helping those who have been incarcerated find a place back in society. They have helped many ex-offenders but need money to continue their good work. Which is why I would like you to dig deep in your pockets and purses to bid for the items as all moneys raised will go to them." There was a warm round of applause from the audience as Jet paused casting her eyes round the room. "The first lot is a day with our magnificent police force kindly donated by the wonderful Commissioner Ferris." Jet turned her head and beamed down at the chief of police rubbing her hand tenderly over the back of his head as another round of applause rippled through the room. "What am I bid?" A hand shot up immediately pledging £1,000. It was followed by another and another until Jet finally closed the bidding at £7,000. "Next is something very special - kindly donated by Batman himself." She patted the Caped Crusader on the head as he looked at her his eyes burning with fury. A curtain opened behind them to reveal a full Batsuit bringing gasps from the room. "Yes, ladies and gentlemen. An authentic Batsuit. Personally signed by the man himself. Now, surely this is worth more than £7,000?" This time the biddding was fast and furious. Jet's arm shot back and forth registering the sea of people standing to make their pledges. The auction closed at £32,000. "Now," she smiled. "Are you ready for this? My lovely Robin's contribution is a guided tour of the Batcave. He will personally show you all its secrets and special little pleasures during a one-on-one tour. "The only stipulation - especially for any ladies bidding - is that you must deliver him back to me in one piece and unsoiled." Whoops and hollers erupted from the floor as Jet let the microphone dangle from her hand and licked her lips with pleasure. Batman's eyes were boring into her and she could sense him clenching his fists in fury. She led the bidding for five minutes until the prize was knocked down to one of the city's leading crime bosses for a massive £94,000. The man punched the air delightedly just as Jet bent down and put her arm around Batman's shoulder pressing her lips to his ear. "This is fun isn't it?" she whispered. She stood back up and surveyed the excited crowd. "Finally," she announced picking up an envelope from the table and holding it high in the air. "The biggest prize of all. "We couldn't get it into the hall unfortunately but you can see it outside. In here are the keys to the Batmobile - yours to own." She waited letting the shrieks and whistles which followed her announcement slowly die down. "Plus," she said slyly. "A bigger prize even than that. A piece of paper containing the real identity of our fine caped friend over here. Something I'm sure you'd all like to possess." Jet's smile lit up the room as her face broke into the brightest of grins. A second later there was a roar which echoed around the walls. "NOOOOO!" screamed Batman as he leapt from his seat. He rushed at Jet and swung a fist into her face. She dodged it expertly letting it sail a couple of inches past her cheek but still letting out an anguished yelp and snapping her head back as though it had make contact. Batman almost stumbled over the table as he came at her again - this time throwing a left at her chin. Jet almost sneered as she let the punch glide past her chin. Then she howled in pain clutching her face and sank down on one knee. The shocked audience watched in disbelief hardly able to believe the great Batman was tearing mercilessly into a defenceless woman. She could hear the sound of automatic rifles cocking ready to fire and turned her head towards Commissioner Ferris. "Tell them not to shoot," she ordered. The Commissioner waved his arm to his men and they relaxed their fingers from the triggers. Batman was now above the kneeling woman and grabbed her arm - pulling it upowards to tear the envelope from her hand. Jet screamed in pretend agony and then twisted her body under him and rammed her fist into his balls. "Mmmmppphhhhhh," he gasped letting go of her arm as his hands instinctively grasped his testicles. She would have loved to flash him a triumphant smile but kept instead twisted her face into a mask of agony for the benefit of all her witnesses and grunted as though in pain as she hammered her fist into stomach. He bent double and her knee vame up into into his head. Batman staggered wildly and then fell off the stage onto the dancefloor. Within moments 18 police officers were upon him - cuffing his arms behind his back and dragging him from the room past the stunned guests. Jet sat herself doen on a seat and held her head in her hands as though sobbing. Her long dark hair fell in front of her hiding the fact that she was actually laughing deliriously. After a while she raised her head and wiped imaginary tears from her eyes. There was a burst of spontaneous appluse from the audience as she stood and took hold of the microphone. "I'm very sorry about that ladies and gentlemen," she said. "I think Batman may be a little bit emotionally unstable at the moment. "So in the circumstances it might be best to end the auction there. Instead - let's celebrate!"