My Hurt

Title: My Hurt
Author: Lilvior
Summary: Robin is captured by Slade during a fight, when he returns to the Titans he isn’t quite the same. Can Raven get the truth out of him before it consumes him?
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: M/M, slash, NC, rape, H/C, Rob/Slade.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Titans, or any cartoon/comic characters for that matter.
A/N: In this chapter there will be lots of ‘Raven comforting Robin’ but nothing romantic until I’m sure if that’s the direction I want to take this story. Thank you to my lovely loyal reviewers, sorry if it seems to be taking me a long time to update, I’m trying to write about ten different fics right now.

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Raven’s eyes snapped open, she felt the scream before she heard it; it reverberated through her bones. She shot out of bed and flew down the hallway, hoping that the day’s exhausting activities meant that the other Titans would be asleep still. She turned the handle of Robin’s door, surprised to find it locked. She could hear Robin crying out in his sleep, sobbing loudly. It was like hearing your father scream (A/N; well, obviously not in Raven’s case). She carefully used her telepathic powers to remove the bolt from the lock in the door, then she pushed it open.
Robin was tangled in his sheets, his hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat, and he was thrashing around, getting himself further knotted into the bedding.
Raven sat next to him on the bed and tried her best to wake him up gently, she didn’t want to enter his mind, she couldn’t risk damaging it further.
After Robin had explained the heart-breaking details of his defeat Raven had left him to sleep.
But now he wasn’t sleeping soundly, he was clearly distressed. She gently held his shoulders and nudged at the corner of his mind with her own until he opened his eyes.
Neither teen spoke, they simply stared at each other.
Robin wiped his face with the back of his hand. He hated that he couldn’t control himself, he wanted to put the whole ‘Slade incident’ behind him, forget about it, and get back into the role of team leader. Slade may have destroyed his soul, but for the most part he was alive, and as long as he was alive he was going to continue saving the world.
“Nightmare.” He mumbled. Raven nodded in understanding, who wouldn’t have nightmares after an experience like that? She had no better idea of what to say now, than she had three hours ago when Robin had told her what had happened to him.
She felt so guilty about scolding Robin for not assisting them fight Slade earlier that day, but above all else, her emotions were drowning in sympathy. How could she console him when nothing could make it better? Her thoughts turned briefly to anger as she envisioned what she would do to Slade if she ever caught him; she certainly wouldn’t bother to contain her emotions, she would wrap his mind in darkness and pull his body apart, atom by atom. But the anger wasn’t productive at the moment.
She looked down at Robin’s face; he wasn’t crying, but his eyes looked haunted, the way his shoulders were drawn up and hunched made him look small and helpless. He didn’t even remotely resemble the fearless leader that he had once been.
“What are we going to tell the others?” She asked, knowing that something would have to be said, but also that they might have to do some creative story-telling in order to preserve what remained of Robin’s dignity. She knew Starfire would never understand what had happened to Robin, and she also knew that Cyborg and Beast Boy would never look at him the same way again if they knew.
This could tear the whole team apart.
But should they really be kept in the dark?
Ultimately, it had to be Robin’s decision.
Robin had sat up straight, almost every part of him reflecting the brave leader that he was, his posture, his expression… but not his eyes. Something was gone from his eyes, something that Raven feared might never return.
“If we don’t tell them, then the next time we face him he could hurt one of them. We have to tell them how dangerous he is.” Robin had slipped back into the selfless persona he so often adopted when he was more concerned about other people than himself.
“What are you going to do?” Raven felt somewhat confused by Robin’s apparent recovery; just ten minutes ago he had been in tears, and now he looked as if he was ready to go out and save the world. There was something distressing about how quickly his mood had changed from self-pity to self-righteousness. As if a balance had been disturbed deep within his mind.
“What do you mean?” He asked back, whether he was generally unsure or simply avoiding the question, Raven didn’t know.
“Perhaps you should take some time off, see a doctor or something?” She had no intention of coming off as patronising, but she knew Robin needed time to come to terms with what had happened to him otherwise he was likely to have some form of breakdown.
“There’s a course I’ve been meaning to take.” He said, quietly. “It’s a form of spiritual-enlightenment combined with further martial arts training.”
Raven was surprised that Robin was agreeing to leave the team for a while, but she thought that the course Robin spoke of sounded like exactly what he needed.
“Could you come with me?”
Raven wasn’t expecting that.
“Uh, are you sure you’d want me there?” Raven couldn’t see herself becoming ‘spiritually enlightened’, and she had very little knowledge of martial arts, but for what she’d learnt from Robin.
Robin grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
“I don’t want to be alone.” He whispered. Raven’s heart broke at the desperation in his voice. As brave as Robin pretended to be, he was still scared.
“Okay, I’ll come.” Raven gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand back. Robin leaned in towards her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Raven hugged him back, surprised by how comfortable it felt; she wasn’t normally the ‘cuddliest’ of people, and would normally shy away from such closeness.
But holding Robin was so natural that the two of them fell asleep together, still entwined.

End.
A/N: Sorry it’s short, and not much happened. That was NOT supposed to be a romantic ending, but if you want to think of it as romantic; feel free. The next chapter will see Robin telling the others what happened to him, and Rob and Rae going to this ‘spiritual enlightenment’ place where they may or may not get romantic. Sorry that Robin’s character kept changing all through this, I couldn’t decide if he should be all broken or defiant, so he was a bit of both.
Need help deciding where this is going!