The Jokes On You

Tabi shivered and curled up slowly. She had fallen asleep on the couch that night. It was early morning when she woke up, her body was stiff from the cold, she was surprised she had slept all night that way. She let out a sound one makes when they are cold and looked up slowly. She could barely see but it wasn't dark enough to frighten her.

'Smart Tabi...fall asleep in the middle of the goons...real smart.' She checked herself over, looking for anything out of place and what not. Getting up from the couch she stepped over one of the men that had collapsed on the floor with a whine bottle tucked under his arm.

She moved slowly up the stairs, cringing when ever one creaked louder then the rest. As she reached the top she brushed her hair back and pushed open the door to Joker's room.

Poking her head in she expected to see him snug under the blankets of his bed.

What she saw she didn't expect. It was so weird thinking that the Joker went through normal human behaviors such as this. He lay in the middle of his bed with his blanket pulled right to his chin. He was covered in sweat and was shivering uncontrollably. His face paint ran in streaks from the sweat and from what she could see his face was beat red.

"Oh..." She blinked and entered the room slowly. Crawling onto the bed she stared down at him, moving one of his spindly hairs out from his face. "Poor thing..." She moved off the bed then and disappeared from the room for a moment, returning with as many damp towels as she could find that weren't covered in mold.

Once on the bed again she pressed one to his forehead, lightly wiping away his sweat and makeup. After a few minutes his face was bear but still red. She tilted her head slowly with a slightly smile. "Your pretty cute."

All of a sudden his hand came up and gripped her wrist. "What are you doing?" He asked quietly.

"...you have a fever...a bad one..." She replied, pulling her wrist away. "I trying to bring it down." She grabbed up another towel and pressed it to his cheek.

"Why?"

She blinked not knowing how to answer him. She ran the towel up to his fore head again and shrugged. His scars looked like someone had stabbed him through the mouth, whether self inflicted, attempted murder, or accident she would never know.

"Stop looking at my scars." He said quietly. It was odd. In this state he sounded almost.... vulnerable.

"Mh...sorry." She averted her eyes quickly. "..." She sighed deeply then. "You need medicine..."

"No." He said. "I don't want any drugs."

She looked back to him slowly, she considered forcing him to take the drugs, but figured a more submissive approach might work better. "Then what do you want? You might die from this you know...It could turn into anything."

He shook his head and closed his eyes. His head hurt and he wanted to sleep. "I'm so cold."

She slipped off the bed and pulled the blanket off him, leaving it over his feet. "No world domination for you next few days."

"I'm not trying to take over the world." Joker said as if stating the obvious.

"Yet." She mumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed again.

"I have no intention of it. And give me back the blankey I'm cold!"

"No. You need to cool down." She leaned forward slowly, swinging her legs back and forth slightly.

"Don't test me Tabatha! Give it back!"

"Or what? You gonna spank me?" She countered looking over her shoulder at him.

"Why you little..." He sat up quickly going to grab for either her or the blanket, but he paused. He grabbed his stomach a moment before jumping off the bed and running out of the room.

She lifted a brow as he disappeared into the bathroom. Swinging her legs again and smiled slightly as she heard the noises a few seconds later.

She cringed slightly in both pity and disgust for him.

Sighing she hopped up to her feet and moved to the doorway, leaning against it she stared down at his huddled figured over the toilet. "Change your mind about that medicine yet?"

He had his arm up on the rim of the toilet with his head resting on it. He shook his head and didn't look up.

She moved over to him, kneeling down next to him and rubbed his back slowly. she needed to figure out a way to get him to take some sort of pills to lower his fever...or else he could die. "All done?" She asked and brushed his hair back.

"I'm fine."

"C'mon then." She hooked her arm under his and pulled him up, walking him back to his bed and sitting him down. "Do you like soup?"

Joker didn't answer. He just laid on the bed with his eyes closed.

She rolled her eyes and backed away from him. Opening the door she slipped out and shut it behind herself. she heard some noise downstairs that suggested some of the goons were awake. Then she move down the stairs, looking around for the man she had been talking to the day before.

The man sat on the couch in the livingroom where she had been sleeping the night before.

She moved up behind him and leaned over his shoulder. "Can you do me a favor?" She whispered and rested her hands on his shoulders.

"Depends on what that is sugar."

She giggled softly, "I need some flu medicine from the pharmacy and a lot of chicken soup...can you do that for me?"

"Um..... why?" He asked confused.

"My secret..." She replied and dug her nails onto his shoulders slowly.

"I'm not doing anything for you unless you tell me why you want it."

"Mr. High o Mighty, Mr. hey you get off my cloud has dawned a flu bug." She replied softly, amused by the mere thought of it. "Frightening isn't it?"

The man's eyes widened in shock and he grabbed onto Tabi pulling her over the back of the couch and onto it next to him. He quickly put his hand over his mouth.

"Be quiet." He said. "If word gets out you could put his life in serious danger."

She stared wide eyed at him and squirmed under him. "Your the one who had to be difficult!" She hissed at him.

"If anyone knew that the boss man wasn't 100% do you know what they would do to him?" He whispered.

"They'd cut his throat while he slept ok?" She pushed him up and got back to her feet. "Now will you go before he stupidly wanders down here?"

"What do you need?"

"I just told you." She crossed her arms quickly, scanning the room for anything suspicious.

"I know. I meant anything else." He said annoyed.

"That's it for now." She replied and shot him a dark look.

"Hey what's with the hostility?" He asked. "I'll go. You go back upstairs and make sure he stays there." There was a bit of noise from upstairs. "And make it fast." He said grabbing his coat and heading for the door.

"Men!" She grumbled and leapt back over the couch and hurried up the stairs. Nearly running down the hallway she opened the door to his room quickly and looked in.

Joker lay sleeping in the bed though the desk next to him bad been somehow knocked over.

She blinked and moved into the room, shutting the door softly behind herself. Moving onto the bed again she sat next to him silently as she waited for Joker's henchman to come back.

Joker's eyes moved behind their lids almost as if he where fighting some kind of inner demons.

She leaned against him gently, resting her head on his shoulder as she stroked his straggly hair with one of her hands. It was probably a bad idea but the thought slipped her mind.

Joker groaned in his sleep and shifted slightly moving his head closer to her hand.

She smiled softly and continued stroking his hair. He looked so normal lying there, red in his cheek, slack in the limbs. It was hard to believe he was a psychopathic killer. She leaned down slowly and kissed him while he slept briefly then leaned back up.

Joker moaned and opened his eyes slowly looking blurrily up at Tabi.

"Did I wake you?" She whispered softly to him.

He nodded slowly but didn't say anything.

"Sorry..." She replied and leaned up away from him again.

He shrugged. He closed his eyes again, the whole room was spinning. His head swam.

She sighed softly and looked about the room. It was cold in the room, though it was probably better that way due to his condition.

He was still shivering uncontrollably. "I'm hungry." He muttered.

"I'll get you something soon." She replied calmly, moving her legs up in hopes to warm up a little more.

Joker hugged her.

She tensed up and stared wide eyed down at him. "U-um..." she shuddered and then patted his back slowly.

There was a soft knock on the door and Joker visibly and dramatically cringed. "Stop that banging!"

"Hm..." She pushed him back into a laying position and moved up from the bed. Running her hand through her hair she crossed the damaged floorboards to the door.

Pulling it open she peered out through the crack to whom ever had done the knocking.

The man from before, the man known as Sleek, handed the bag to her and turned to leave.

"Thanks..." She said briefly and moved outside. She followed him downstairs and into the kitchen. She set the bag down and grabbed the pills first, slipping them into her pocket she pulled out a can of soup and searched for a bowl.

Once she found one she cleaned it out as best she could, though with out soap it wouldn't be very clean still, setting it on the counter she opened the drawers quietly.

There was an old can opener lying in the far back of one, it looked almost ancient. Pulling it up she opened the can and poured the soup into the bowl.

Looking to her right she poked one of the microwave buttons to see if it was functioning, it beeped at her. Opening the door she set the bowl in and set it for the time stated. Pulling the pills out she crushed two of them into powder and added them to the soup after it was finished. She mixed it with a spoon after it was rinsed off and moved back up stairs to his room.

"Hey." She said as she entered and moved to the edge of the bed. "You still awake?"

He mumbled something that almost sounded like an 'unfortunately'

"Come here." She slid onto the bed and patted his arm softly. "This will make you feel better."

He sat up slightly but glared at her. "What did you do to it?"

"I put it in the microwave and heated it up." She replied and pushed it towards him.

He pushed it away and glared at her.

She gave him a sneer back then took a spoonful and sipped it up. "Happy now?"

Joker stared at her a moment before he sighed in defeat. He was hungry but he didn't have the energy to get the food himself.

"Oh dear lord..." She rolled her eyes then dipped the spoon and offered it to him.

"I'm not an infant just give me the bowl.'

"No...you need to save your energy if you plan to blow something up tomorrow." She replied and swayed the spoon slightly. "C'mon I hear your stomach growling."

He was about to protest but to his dismay his stomache betrayed him.

"Open?" She asked softly and pressed the tip of the spoon to his lips.

Joker crossed his arms over his chest and opened his mouth dramatically.

She suppressed a laugh at his actions and pushed the spoon into his mouth and tilted it down.

He closed his mouth around the spoon, cringing at the taste of it.

"Blech.... I hate chicken soup."

"Tough, it has healing properties." She replied and dipped the spoon into the bowl again. She pulled it up again and pressed it to his lips again.

Joker grudgingly ate the soup in silence.

It took about an hour to feed him the entire bowl, but after he was done she moved up from the bed and set it onto the night stand. All that was left to do was wait for the medicine to start kicking in.

He sighed and laid back. "I know you put something in there." He said.

She sighed and stood up slowly. "Your paranoid." She replied and picked up the bowl. She needed a cigarette badly. Opening the door she peered out to make sure no one was was around in the hall before moving out and returning back to the kitchen. She set the bowl into the sink with some water and moved over to the man with the asthma.

"Hello Tabi." Sleek said. "How did it go?"

She sighed and laid herself half over the back of the couch. "Mission accomplished...he knows I put something in the soup though...damn smart thing he is...can I have one of those?" She asked, staring at the pack of cigs in his front pocket.

He handed her the pack. "Yeah I kinda thought he would." He said. "Mans very...." He paused not able to think of the word.

She put one of the cigs between her lips and leaned down so it could be light. Leaning back she sucked on it deeply before exhaling the smoke. "Perceptive?"

"Yeah that's the word I was looking for."

She hopped over the couch and sat down next to him again, crossing her legs slowly. "Yeah...if it works he should grace us with his presence soon...hope everyone's used to him staying in his room most of the day."

"With him.... anything's possible so they shouldn't be too shocked. Besides half the guys here haven't been here long enough to know his every day habits."

"You mean ones that don't consist of robbery, terrorism, and murder?" She blew out some more smoke and let the cig rest between her lips as she stretched.

"Those aren't every day habits. It's more of a hobby." He laughed.

"Some hobby." She pulled the cig from her lips and tapped it over the ash tray to get rid of the excess ashes. She looked up to the stairs slowly then sighed. "I'm bored..."

"He'll be up and running soon enough I'm sure of it. I'm sure he'll take you to do something fun soon enough."

"Mmm." She giggled as she twirled her hair around her finger. "I doubt that one."

"Would you rather just sit here doing nothing?"

"...no..." She mumbled and tapped the cig again.

"TABATHA!!!!" Joker's cry cut through the air.

His shrill cry made her nearly fall from her seat in mild fright. "Shit..." She took a deep breath and put the cigarette out quickly. Pressing her hand to her chest for a moment she stood up and looked to Sleek. "Sounds mad huh?"

"Well personally I've never heard him happy, but I'd say you'd hurry up before he gets madder."

"TABATHA!!" His yell echoed down the stairs again.

"Alright! You big grump I'm coming! Hold your frigging horses!!" She yelled back and moved up the stairs and into his room again.

Joker was sitting on his bed buttoning up his shirt. He was still feeling sick but not overly so. "I thought I told you I did NOT want any medication!"

She sighed deeply and leaned onto her hip. "What are you talking about?" She asked as she raised her hand then let it fall and slap against her hip.

"Oh don't play dumb with-" He paused as his fingers touched his face. "What.... did you do to my face?"

She gave him a confused look. "...nothing...except took your make up off..."

Joker gave a howled almost painful cry as he got up and moved out the door and into his other room.

"What the....fuck..." She said in confusion and followed him. "You were sweating it all off anyway!"

He grabbed one of the white containers of makeup and began quickly applying it to his face.

She sighed and leaned in the doorway. "Your so strange..." She said and she brushed her hair back.

Joker ignored her knowing that if he reacted it would ruin all his plans for her. He threw the empty white container down and picked up the black.

She tilted her head slowly, watching him as he re-applied his "face" so to speak. It was a rather amusing spectacle, how he applied it so frantically and disorderly yet it still came out like a professional make up artist working a horror movie.

"You know.... my mother always said I had a way with my hands." He said. He didn't continue. Sometimes he just said thoughts out loud and finished them in his head. The smart ones knew when to ask what he was talking about or when not to bother him.

Her mind jumped to the day before. The way he had handled her in the bedroom. She coughed then at the thoughts, shivering softly. "Well...she's right."

Joker laughed. "Someone has a dirty mind!" He sang.

She jolted slightly and opened her mouth to protest but closed it slowly. Two could play that game. "I guess that person is you." She counted and crossed her arms.

Joker applied the red to his lips and smirked. "I've been told many times by many people that I am hardly a person."

"Well...they're retards...you look just like me and everyone downstairs, not like your covered in scales and bare a set of horns." She replied as she leaned more against the frame. "I see your feeling better."

Joker moved so fast she barely saw him move as she found herself pinned to the wall next to the door frame. "NEVER!" He yelled. "Compare me to those bumbling idiots! I am not.... like everyone else.... and least of all I am NOTHING like you...." He let her go and turned back to the mirror to inspect his makeup. "There really is no comparison.

She gasped in fright as her back hit the wall, staring wide eyed up at him. He smelt rancid all of a sudden. She wrinkled her nose as she sunk down slightly. But just as soon as he had pinned her he was gone again. She took a deep breath and looked down slowly then back up. "Your such a tool..." She mumbled and moved quickly out from the room.

Joker ignored her as he inspected his hair. He snarled slightly. It would have to be dyed again soon.