Scott Pilgrim Vs. Himself

Hey folks. This here's a story chapter, so it doesn't have a sex scene in it. More next chapter though. Enjoy!  

-Lemonator    

She didn't really know why she had done it--then again, Kim didn't really know why she did most things these days. All she knew was that you can only live with your parents for so long, especially when you're moving back in. So, she was back in Toronto.

After all, that's where all her friends were--everyone she knew, really. Presently she was enjoying a nice dark cup of coffee at the Second Cup. She came here because it was familiar and it was easy to find--that and they made some half-decent cappuccino. Kim had greeted Stacey at the register, and ordered her usual. She then heard an all too familiar voice behind her.

"So yeah, the party's this weekend if you guys feel like coming. Nothing special, just my house and a lot of drinking."

Kim put her coffee down and turned in her seat, folding her arms across the back of the chair.

"Hello Julie," She said, a small hint of a smile on her face. Julie scowled at her.

"Are you stalking me?!" She asked, glaring daggers.

"Jesus, Julie, no. Who would want to stalk you anyway?" Kim asked, with only the slightest bit of playfulness in her voice. Julie stared hatefully at her for a moment and then turned back to her two airheaded friends, Sandra and Monique. Kim thought the three of them were perfect for each other.

"Anyway," Julie began, and she made an effort not to look at Kim.

"I found out something really interesting that concerns you guys. You too, Kim."

"Oh does it now?" Kim asked sarcastically, sipping her coffee.

"It's about Scott, smart-ass," Julie replied. Kim paused for a moment, a little taken aback. All of a sudden, Julie's words actually meant something. She said nothing though.

"I saw it with my own eyes," Julie said, arms crossed. "He's not very subtle about these things. He was walking down the street with this totally obvious slut...I saw them holding hands. I saw them kiss. Some ugly blonde. Knowing him, she's probably underage."

"Are you sure it was him?" Kim asked in a low voice.

"It's pretty hard to mistake anyone else for Scott Pilgrim," Julie said, and then paused. "Someone has to tell her."

"Please...don't." Kim said, not quite as confidently as she would have liked. She had been so happy for him. She had thought that maybe Ramona was the start of something better.

"Excuse me?" Julie asked incredulously. "And just why the hell not?"

"Because," Kim said. "He's...Scott Pilgrim. You know how he is. I'm sure he doesn't want to hurt her..."

"Is that any excuse?" Julie asked. When Kim didn't answer, she continued. "I'm sorry Kim, I know he's your friend and all, but this just isn't right. I'm gonna go home right after I finish my coffee, call Ramona and tell her the truth."

"I'm sorry, you're going to do what now?" Kim looked around for the source of the voice. About two tables down in front of her, Wallace stood up and walked over to where they were all sitting.

Julie frowned at him. "I said, I-"

"Shut the fuck up Julie," Wallace said without a trace of anger. "Do everyone a favor."

"Wallace, what-" Kim began.

"Kim, I appreciate you sticking up for Scott, but it's not needed. I'll take it from here." He turned back to Julie and stared at her for a moment.

"Scott is my best friend, and for his sake Julie, I'm going to talk to you as if you were a normal human being. First of all, I haven't seen him too much lately, so I don't know exactly what he's up to, and based on what I know about the guy, what you're saying is probably true. That said, Scott Pilgrim is not a bad person.

"He tries to do the right thing, it's just...well, most of the time he doesn't succeed. Unfortunately I'm not around to be his moral compass anymore...Anyway, I'm going to say one more thing and then I'll shut up. He needs to learn a lesson, about what he's done wrong and whatnot...himself. It's part of growing up. We need to let him settle his own problems. I understand Ramona's position in all of this, but I suppose that's not really our business." There was a silence that settled over the five of them.

"Well, now that that's out of the way," Wallace said, sitting down next to Kim. "How's my favorite Kim Pine?"

"I wonder how they get those bell thingies to make that noise when people come in..." Monique asked. Kim slapped a hand over her face.

"Dealing with the constant idiocy of people, as always." Wallace smiled.

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"Hey, do you want to see my apartment?"

"You live in an apartment?" Mary asked.

"Yeah," Scott said, softly stroking her hair. "I share it with my...girlfriend..." He and Mary lay together in her wrinkled, unmade bed. The one pillow was small and had a pretty big hole in it. The rest of her small house wasn't much more glamorous. Her grandmother had been asleep downstairs on the couch when they came in. She didn't look alive, but Mary assured him that she was.

"I don't know..." He said. "I suppose I feel bad about this, she'd be crushed if she found out...but at the same time I feel like we were fated to meet or something. Like, someone telling me that I didn't really love her, that you're really the one for me. And hey, you gotta do what makes you happy, right?" Mary stared up at the ceiling and scratched the bridge of her nose.

"So, about that apartment you mentioned..."

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"So yeah, this is it," Scott said, drawing her attention up to the tall building which had previously just been Ramona's. Which she had allowed him to live in. Because she liked him.

"She'll be out at work all day, so I can just show you around a little bit."

"That sounds nice," Mary said smiling. She followed him up to the top step and then waited while he took out his keys. Scott let her in first, then followed her in and closed the door behind them.

"So yeah, this is our place," Scott said. "It's got a kitchen, a bedroom, all sorts of interesting stuff."

"Hmmm, I see," Mary said. "You know...I have a good idea."

"Really? What would that b-" She cut him off, slamming him against the door he had just closed. She kissed him passionately, sliding her tongue into his mouth and pushing her breasts up against his torso. She pulled back for a moment, and let him catch his breath.

"What would it be like..." She asked. "...To do it in a house where other people have fucked? That sounds pretty sexy to me."

"I don't know," Scott muttered. "This seems wrong." She grinned mischeviously and slipped a hand into Scott's pants, grabbing his crotch through his underwear.

"Does it?" He moaned in response. Then, footsteps. He turned, and there was Ramona, who had just walked into the Foyer.

"Scott?" She asked, not quite believing what she was seeing.

"Oh fuck. Oh, fuck," Scott said. "Jesus Christ, Ramona, I-I'm so sorry." He pushed Mary away from him and turned swiftly, going out the door and slamming it behind him. She followed him out, but by that time he was almost out of view.

"Scott, wait!" She yelled. Mary opened the door behind her.

"Um...I think I should just go."

"Yeah, you do that," Ramona replied coldly and watched the girl walk down the steps and across the street. She found that her eyes were getting wet. And for some reason, she thought of Gideon.