Sublime Awakenings

Sublime Awakenings: Chapter 49

Todd continued to walk, only speeding up when he heard Dib and then Pepito calling after him. His hands fisted and released to get rid of the tension, but what he really needed was to walk. A couple of treks around that floor of the mall usually did the trick whenever a customer stressed him out too much. Almost expertly, he darted in and out of the crowds like a speeding motorcycle through a traffic jam, weaving his way purposefully to nowhere.

Suddenly, the collar of his shirt tightened around his neck, cutting off a good portion of his circulation as well as his ability to breath. A hand pressed against his mouth, muffling any protest that he might make as he was tugged backwards by the collar. He heard his captor's back hit a door that swung open, and the next thing he knew, he was slammed into the outside of a row of bathroom stalls.

Gaz's hands came to land roughly on either side of his head, her arms blocking his escape, and he let out a relieved lung full of air, all of the previous anger having dissipated at the surprise attack. At least the danger, and there did appear to be danger if the glare on the girl's face was any indication, came from a known source. “Gaz? This...this is the girls bathroom!”

“Shut up, Squee.”

He flinched at her tone, but replied automatically. “Okay.”

“You told me that Johnny C. is a homicidal maniac.”

“Umm...yeah I did?” This couldn't be going anywhere good.

“I believed you.”

He felt a shameful, but persistent small ray of happiness shining through a newly formed storm cloud of apprehension at her statement. “You do? Really?”

“Did, Squee. I did believe you. And now I have to come up with another appropriately horrifying plan to get rid of Chunk, which means that I have to date him longer. Which means that you had damn well better be insane because if you lied to me, Squee, it will be the last time. Do you understand what I'm saying?”

The small ray of happiness went out, and he could almost swear that he heard thunder, though that was probably just another of the elevators across from the bathroom groaning its plan to break down. “That you really are a psychopath?”

“What?” Grabbing the collar of his shirt again, Gaz jerked him forward before shoving him back into the stalls.

Okay, so she was looking for something more specific. “That you found out where Nny lives, and tried to get him to kill Chunk?” Todd suddenly felt highly confused. “...and he...didn't do it? Really?”

“That's it.” She loosened her grip some, a little less enraged now that he appeared to be just as shocked as herself that Chunk still breathed.

“But...that's horrible...and so unlikely.”

“I know! I wasted all morning with that asshole, and then nothing! And he called me his bitch! And he's probably going to dump me soon!”

“He really is an asshole.”

“Well, yeah. But he will pay.” She narrowed her eyes on Squee again. “And so will you if you ever lie to me again.”

He nodded without thinking. It was probably best to let her think he had lied. After all, he knew that Johnny didn't take too kindly to those who reminded him of himself. “Gaz? Have you ever thought about therapy?”

“Yeah.” She grunted a ruff laugh. “I've thought about how stupid and pointless it is.”

“Oh.”

“Why, are the shrinks telling you wackos to recruit now?”

“Noo. It just seems like you have a lot of pent up aggression that you could stand to talk about.” Wow. He really did sound like Brian right now.

Gaz rolled her hazel eyes. “That's what video games are for.” She smirked. “And if that's not enough I can always beat up my stupid bother.”

The door swung open, and an obese woman with three screaming little boys barged in. “Alright, alright, alright. We'll stop by the McMeaty's on the way home for pork shakes if you little brats will shut up!” She finally looked away from the sticky-looking children to notice the two teenagers. “What! What are you doing in here!” She pointed a thick finger at the Todd.

Gaz barely even looked back at her. “Oh, just mind your own business.”

“No boys allowed!”

“Uh...” Todd faltered.

“You're no help.” Gaz rolled her eyes once again. “They're boys too.” She nodded at the whiny little brats.

“Yeah, but I have to help them go wee wee!”

“Well, maybe I have to help him go wee wee too! Ever stopped to think of that?”

“What! Eww. That's not-”

“Shut up, Todd. Like the doctor said, it's not something to be embarrassed of. Now, I've got the catheter in my purse, so if you'll just unzip your pants...”

The woman scratched her head. “Oh. I...I'll just wait until you're done then.” She turned around, finding her way out of the bathroom much faster than she had managed to get in.

There was a long moment of silence, during which Todd wished that he wasn't too afraid to cuss her out. “Right. So, I won't lie to you anymore. Can I, uh, go now, please? I have this thing about public bathrooms.”

“Whatever.” She let him go with a smirk, feeling the sweet, sweet satisfaction that always came with revenge. He would watch his step now, so there would be no more lies, even accidental ones.

Todd ran straight into the swinging door, bursting forth from it, and not caring that he was drawing the attention of the large woman and many other mall-goers that might possibly report him to Stab Rankle, head of mall security. He plunged back into the masses of people, feeling a burning heat in his face and a deep seated fear in his gut for whatever Gaz might carry around in that purse of hers. He finally got far enough away from her to feel a little more secure in his...well, his package...that he allowed himself to stop in a low traffic area to lean over the side of the fourth floor railing. His hands covered his face for a moment. “Oh, God. She really is crazy, like some...crazy thing!”

“Todd!” Pepito let out a deep breath when the person that he had been calling to turned around, revealing themselves to actually be Todd this time. “There you are! Where were you?”

“Uh...bathroom?” Todd shrugged. “Sorry.”

“I looked in the bathroom. I looked all around this section. I don't even know how you disappeared.”

“Yeah, it was the, uh, other bathroom.”

Pepito turned around in a circle, taking in the mall-scape. “What other bathroom?”

Gripping his arm to stop the spin, Todd stepped closer to speak in a low tone. “The girls' bathroom.”

“Oh. Is there...more to that or is it something private?”

“Not really. I just ran into Gaz...or she ran into me...pretty hard actually. Turns out she's insane.”

“Well, she is Dib's sister.” Pepito smirked as he wrapped an around the other, this time not planning to let go until they had safely arrived at their lunching destination.

Though he raised an arm to grip the side of the light jacket that Pepito was wearing, Todd wasn't sure whether he wanted to hold on or push the other away. The lingering fear of Gaz's purse won out, but he still needed to say something. “Pep, that's mean. You know he's not that crazy. I mean, it's not like he kills people or anything.”

As they rode down the escalators that would take them to the food court, Pepito felt something in his gut twist tightly at Todd's words. “You know him better than I do, Amigo. Besides, it's just...like a skool joke. You know? Just habit.”

“It's a really bad habit.”

“Sorry. Really.” Pepito tightened his hold to give the other a quick squeeze before letting go as they reached an entire wing that was dedicated to restaurants. “So, where do you wanna eat? I've got my debit card, and my parents usually keep a fair amount on it, so we can go where ever you want.”

Midway through an indecisive walk around the main circle where the better establishments usually set up shop, they decided on an Italian place that Pepito claimed to be familiar with. The entire process of being seated felt incredibly awkward to Todd. He couldn't help but feel like this place was a little too nice for two causal friends to be eating there together. He also really didn't like the idea of Pepito paying, but it couldn't really be helped at this point.

“And what can we get you to drink this afternoon?”

“Umm...” He shuffled through the menu, finding that the drinks section took up two whole pages.

“We'll both have the Super Tuscan wine, thanks.” When Todd gave him a wide-eyed look, Pepito only shot an equally wide smile back at him.

After the waiter nodded-and Todd thought he saw a wink too- and left to fill their order, Todd leaned over the booth's table to shout as best he could in a near whisper. “Why did you do that!”

“Because it's good wine, and I think you'll like it?”

“No! I don't drink! And we're both underage! What if we get carded?”

“We won't. The waiter is a friend of my.”

“What-never mind.” Todd shook his head, looking down at the table clothe and deciding that he really didn't want to know exactly what kind of 'friend' he was.

The waiter returned shortly, pouring them both a full-bodied red drink. “Will this be on the same check, Sir?”

“Yes, it will.”

“As you wish. Are you ready to order?”

After Pepito had ordered something that Todd couldn't pronounce and Todd had went with a simple and safe sampler plate, the waiter left with another wink that was directed at them both, and Todd really wished that he hadn't seen it. And he had called Pepito 'Sir'? No, he still didn't want to know. Instead of asking he stared at the nearly full wine glass in front of him. “I still don't drink.”

“Do you want something else?”

“Umm...is this water from the tap?” He pointed at the extra glasses of water that the waiter had supplied them with.

“Yes, but it's very thoroughly filtered.”

Todd raised the regular glass to his lips, taking a small, experimental taste. “It'll be okay.”

Pepito frowned. “You sure?”

“Yeah. It tastes...relatively safe.”

“I'm sure it is, although the wine is better.”

“Heh. Sure.”

“Come on, Todd. I apologize for ordering for you, but you've been really tense all day. Don't you think it might help you relax some?” When Todd only gave him a look, he continued, switching strategies from persuasive to downplaying the whole thing. “Wine doesn't even contain much alcohol, you know.”

“Ugh. Fine.” Todd made a big show of pushing his water away before pulling the wine forward to take a small drink. It wasn't nearly as bad as some of the medications he had tested for the D.H.M.I. He took another drink. “It's not too bad.”

“See, I told you.” Pepito sampled his own drink, taking a moment to soak his palate in the bitter sweet taste of pride that would have been better if watching Todd turn his drink back in seconds didn't make him nearly choke on his own. He coughed to clear his windpipe. “Whoa!” He put down his own wine to grab the hand hold of Todd's drink too late. “Slow down, Amigo! Jeez, you drink like a gringo.”

Todd giggled to himself as he let Pepito force the newly-emptied glass back onto the table. “'Gringo'? Really? Heh. Well, I am one, aren't I?”

“I mean way too fast, like the purpose is too avoid tasting the alcohol. Let me give you a few pointers. You need to drink slowly to really appreciate it. Only people with no taste or no balls drink wine or beer to get drunk, just like only those too afraid to embrace their sins fail to balance them properly. If you actually wanted to get drunk, you'd need something that was fermented after it was distilled.”

“Yeah, thanks. I'll try to remember that the next time someone pressures me into drinking.” Todd snorted at his own comment that didn't quite reach the level of sarcasm that he had intended. “I feel really warm. Is that normal?”

“It is when you drink too fast.” Pepito pushed Todd's cup of water, as well as the plate of bread in the middle, back toward him. “Have some more water, and you'll be fine.”

After downing half of his water, Todd broke off a piece of bread, opting not to dip it in the complementary olive oil. It was pretty good plain until a piece of it scraped against the back of his throat when he swallowed too hard at the sound of two girls around their age calling out to Pepito from across the restaurant.

Of course, Pepito just had to smile and wave back, and soon the two of them-twins apparently-had left their parents behind to to pay him a social visit. This wouldn't have been a problem for Todd if it hadn't been for the horrible media attention he'd been getting lately. He pulled his sunglasses back down over his eyes in hopes that they might not notice him if he was very still and said nothing.

“Hi, Pepi!” One of the brunette girls slipped into the seat on Pepito's side as the other mimicked her in both word and motions, though she took a seat beside Todd. She pouted overly glossed lips. “I thought you were going to be busy this weekend with...uh...what's his name?”

“Todd?” The second girl suggested.

“I am. Todd, this is Missy and Crissy.” Pepito chuckled, then continued in a smooth voice. “You didn't think I'd lied to you, now did you?”

“Oh! This is him?” Missy reached out to take the glasses off of the boy's face without prompting. “It is you! And hey, you cut your hair!”

“Uh, yeah.”

At his confused look, her equally awed sister spoke up. “We saw you on TV...and in the papers...and on the skool bulletin board for about a week after the accident.”

“Oh. Of...of course.” Todd forced a small smile, though this had been the very thing he was dreading.

Missy twirled the shades around with two fingers as she looked around, finally looking back to Chrissy in a sudden, gossip worthy, possible realization. “So, is this like a date? I hope we're not interrupting!”

“No! It's not a date.” Abruptly wishing that his wine glass was still full, Todd sat up straighter to look across at Pepito before finishing in an uncertain tone, “It's not, is it?”

“No. It's not.” Pepito forced back a frown as he said the words out loud more to assure Todd than anything else. It was true, of course, and there was nothing sad about that. What was sad was that Todd was obviously feeling so insecure about it.

“Aww. Why not?”

“Uh, no reason. It's just not,” Todd offered feebly. In truth, he was confused by the question, by the underlying assumption that seemed to be that two people should be dating in the absence of a good reason not to. Unless maybe Pepito had told them something that he didn't know about....

Chrissy shrugged, then waved in an annoyed fashion at her moms, who were currently trying to coax them both back to their table with hand gestures to avoid making a scene. “Fair enough. We've got to be getting back to our table, I guess, but our parents are leaving town next weekend if you guys wanna come over.” She flashed them both a quick smile before getting to her feet and pulling the Missy up by the arm. “Just let us know!”

As both girls walked away, the waiter came back with their meals, which Todd deemed to be pretty good, especially after the kinds of food that he was used to.

“So,” Pepito paused to gather some pasta with his fork, “do you want to go?”

“To their house? I don't know, Pep...I don't really know them...and you know how people are around me now.”

“I know, Amigo, but you could stand to get out and meet new people. Those two are pretty...nice.”

“I don't like the way you said 'nice'. And what would we be doing that their parents would need to be gone for?”

“Heh. Yeah. Do you really need me to explain that?”

“I think I got the basic gist of it.”

“And you don't want to?”

“I just said I don't know them. I've never even been on a date or anything before; I'm not just going to...to do whatever we would be doing there with some...random person.”

“Persons. And I'm not random, am I?”

“Noo.” Todd rolled his eyes at the fake hurt in Pepito's voice. “But...I don't even know which one of them I'd be on a date with!”

Pepito smiled mischievously. “Who said you'd be on a date with one of them?”

“Well, since they invited us both, I just assumed it was a double date type thing, albeit one that was initiated solely for the purpose of exploiting my current 'popularity' as the poor, insane kid.”

“You know, you could probably turn that into real, lasting popularity pretty easily if you stop sitting with Dib at lunch.”

“What? To sit at your soon-to-be wobbly table? I'll pass.”

“Ha. If my table starts to wobble, Thelema is going to wake up with platinum blond hair." He paused to chew a few thoughtful bites. "Well, at least he looks less crazy now that Zim hasn't been at skool with him as of late.”

Todd looked down at his food for a moment, not wanting to agree on principle, even though he'd been thinking the same thing all week. He took a bite of his lasagna instead.

“But anyway,” Pepito picked back up, “it could be a double date with Chrissy and Missy dating each other.”

“What? Why would...Pepito, you're not going to convince me that they're not sisters. They look just alike and it's not because I think all Asian girls look the same, so don't even joke about that.”

Pepito laughed. “No, they're twins, but they could still get together every now and then.”

Eyes widening, Todd dropped his fork onto his plate with a small clang to stare straight at Pepito. “No. No they couldn't.”

“Sure they could! Everyone knows that twins share a special bond, and being with your twin would be just like being with-”

“No. It wouldn't, Pepito. And I'm pretty sure that's not what they meant. You just want to think that because you're a freak.”

“Come now, Amigo, you're always such a pessimist.”

“Because I don't try to project weird incestuous lesbian fantasies onto unwitting girls?”

His smile grew. “Yes. But they wouldn't necessarily have to be lesbians.”

“That's...just disgusting and wrong.”

“You have a problem with girls liking girls?”

“Yes, Pepito. Even though I partially grew up with a lesbian, and girl porn is the only kind that I've ever seen. Yes, I have a major problem with it.” Actually, he only had a problem with the kind that was obviously made by and for straight men with blatantly uninterested, and most likely straight, actresses that were more synthetic than natural. That kind made him feel kind of sick inside, but Letta didn't have very much of that.

Pepito laughed again. “Sorry, Todd. I was just...I had to get you back for that stuff with that horrible girl at the Trendy Subject, but you don't have to be so sarcastic about it.”

“Well, it was a stupid, sarcastic question to begin with.” He faked an angry huff. “And at least what I said back there was a joke.”

“Yes, I'm aware that you now think I'm a sick freak, but you should know that's a pretty standard fantasy for a guy our age...or any age really.”

Todd's mouth formed something between a smirk and a frown. 'Standard' people were disturbing. “Just one more reason not to sit at your lunch table.” He kicked Pepito's foot under the table to let him know that he was mostly kidding.

“So, you really don't want to go, right?”

“Right.”

“Alright.”

“Really? You're not going to try to talk me into it after all that?”

“No. I do think you need to meet more people, but I really just thought that you might be more comfortable going on a date with a girl since you said that you've only ever liked them that way before. No pressure, though.” Pepito's voice grew more serious. “Actually, Todd, I think I've been pushing you too much...about a lot of things that you're obviously not ready for. I've been trying not to, but I seem to be a bit of an idiot when it comes to you.” He smiled. “I think it's because you're always nearly dying on me, but I promise I'll try harder to stop.”

“O-okay, Pep. I...thanks.” Todd took a deep breath, feeling immensely relieved, but also just a little disappointed.

“I know I can come on pretty strong some times, like with the wine, or when I think that it's something that you want but you're too afraid. Like I said, I'll try to watch it, but you just have to tell me no, alright? Sometimes really strongly. I won't be offended.”

“Okay.” Todd looked down again and took another bite of his food, playing with his leftovers with the fork afterward like a little kid. He felt like one too, and like Pepito and nearly everyone else he knew thought so too. In a way, it made him angry because it was so unfair, but maybe it was also partly true. Maybe it was just culture shock, but a lot of the things that he heard and saw the other kids doing at skool, as well as a lot of the things that Pepito and Letta alluded to doing, felt more alien to him than the way Zim had looked in his original body.

“Amigo? Ready for the check?”

“Oh. Yeah.”