Mad Jyhad

Dick calmed down. That was a relief, and it was a further relief that he had taken control of the situation. He left about an hour later, giving me strict orders to stay inside. I was not to leave, answer the phone or otherwise let anyone know that I was there.

And I was more than happy to obey. To bad he couldn't be there...with...me!

He didn't tell me where he was going. I didn't ask.

I did however go through his underwear drawer.

Hey...don't look at me like that...

I took my cape off. There didn't seem to be a point in wearing it. I did put my mask back on. I feel comfortable with it on. Maybe it is psychological. Tim Drake is dead but Robin never dies?

Lying down on Dick's bed, the stars began to murmur. A rising hiss told me that the sun was coming. My eyes started to feel heavy. I felt like I was floating.

Droning voice speaking in a monotone, fading in and out, catching only certain words, "Post-mortem changes are documented as following... body has been refrigerated... rigor mortis...hypostatic lividity...putrefactive changes... Subject injured on the left side of neck below ear. A tearing wound consistent with that made by a large animal, size is..."

The door slammed in the front room and I jumped. Dick's eyes were rimmed with red and I knew he had been crying again. I'm not really sure why, whether it was because I was still dead, because I was actually a vampire, or because he missed me and was glad I was back...I still couldn't tell you.

Lowering my mask I asked. "Are you okay?"

Dick nodded. His voice sounded so rough, almost 'the bat voice'. "I brought you something!"

"Where have you been?"

He brushed the question off with a vague gesture. "You need to feed before you sleep!"

Well, at least he didn't look tearful now. The word cranky came to mind. But you know? He carries cranky very well. Oh yeah, very well. With him, cranky and sexy...very linked. You probably didn't need to know that.

He pulled a red bag out of his coat and I gasped, feeling my teeth drop down and the twinge in my face automatically. My body knew before my mind what was in front of me.

"Where did you get that?" My voice was a growl.

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. The Hunger will be worse for you right now...being a fledgling and all. You need to feed before you sleep and right after you wake up."

Before he was even done talking I had already grabbed the bag.

Sated for the time being I crawled up onto the bed and lay down. I was so tired! And I have to admit I was comfortable. I didn't even bother to turn out the light. And it was then that I realized. No stars, no sun...no hissing...no sounds...it was peaceful.

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Lying flat now, head raised, sharp pain behind my head ear to ear, deep searing hot. Jerking, pulling, ripping, exposed. The sound of a saw, loud, piercing, whining. PAIN!

Saw turned off, sucking sound, rubbing of coconut halves... HOT!

I jerked awake, breathing heavily before I remembered that I could stop, that it wasn't necessary.

My face cramped and I felt heat. I was on fire. Not literally, of course, but I burned from the inside out! My mouth was full of sharp teeth and I was hungry! I heard Dick before he entered the room and all I wanted to do was...

Then I realized that I heard more than one heartbeat...

As he opened the door he flinched. I felt like he was trying to avoid looking at me. But behind him he dragged something. Suddenly, even with all my hunger...I was at a loss...

Because where in the hell...in the middle of a slummy city like Bludhaven...did he find a baby cow? And how the HELL did he get it into his apartment? The thought was mind-boggling. I mean, didn't anyone NOTICE? How did he get it here? On a bus? Definitely not on his motorcycle...did he walk it down the street? HOW THE HELL DID IT GET HERE?

And intelligent being that I have always been, what fell out of my mouth?

"Huh?"

"Food?" He smiled at me and shrugged as he pushed the calf further toward the bathroom. "Eat in here, it won't be as messy to clean up!"

I didn't know what to say. I mean, what do you say when someone you have always looked up to, shoves a small cow at you and basically says 'drink up!'

Oh, I knew what to say!

"Thank you!"

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"Strigoii."

"Huh?" Okay, again he surprised me. "What the hell is a Strigoii?"

"Varcolac, Nosferatu, Vampry, Dracul, Nachzerer, Vampire." Dick sat down as I fully entered the room. "And a hundred OTHER words all meaning the same thing...The Kindred."

I was wearing some of his clothes. My 'breakfast' was messy. I was ashamed. But I felt full and warm and in control. Which is more than I could say for how I felt when I woke up. I pulled the shirt tight around me. It was too big but it smelled strongly of him. If I closed my eyes I could imagine his arms around me. The pants were extremely baggy but the belt kept them up and I cuffed them around the ankles.

"The most common image people get is of Count Dracula, based on, supposedly Vlad Tepes, a Romanian prince who, in 1462, prevented the Turks from invading by impaling 20,000 of his enemies on stakes." Dick shook his head. "Rubbish. Vlad Tepes was a hero to the people and some consider him up there with King Arthur. And I don't mean Aquaman! Some believe that he will return and save Romania in its darkest hour."

"I... uh thought that he was like this really cruel guy..."

Dick shrugged, "Depends on who you ask. History is written by the winners...and some may argue that the bomb we dropped in World War II was just as cruel."

He shrugged again and turned back toward me. "Now, on the other hand, there WAS a Dracula until recently. But he wasn't the same man as Tepes. Although, I think he rather enjoyed people thinking he was."

"What happened to him?" I asked.

Dick smirked. "He...out thought himself...and did something really stupid. He found final death in a final act of stupidity. He tried to Embrace, turn, Superman. Vampires really shouldn't try to bite solar batteries. It is highly contraindicated."

"What do I do, Dick?"

"It's going to be okay."

He got that determined look in his eye again, the on the edge look. "First things first. One, we can't tell Batman...at least yet. For one thing we have to come up with a plausible story. Two, no more raiding the zoo...it is all over the papers..."

Yikes, he knew. Guess it wasn't too hard to figure out. He tossed me the paper, the headlines screaming about what I had done.

"Don't worry, they are blaming wild animals." Dick folded his arms across his chest. "Tim? Where is your Sire?"

It hurt. The ache came back so fast... "Beheaded, by rival vampires, at least, I think they were. I mean they were vamps and they went after us..."

"Does your clan know where you are?"

"No, I don't even know where they are, what their names are...nothing. He was... beheaded...almost...immediately."

Dick sighed and ran his hand through his hair, raven black hair that I suddenly wanted to inspect. I wanted to look at each one, count them...feel them...

He had been calling me...I must have zoned out.

"Hey, back with me?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry!"

"We need to introduce you to the Prince of the City. Get 'legal' permission for you to be here!" Dick stood up and started to pace, kicking random objects out of his way. "Honestly? I figure that you were made illegally. Maybe even by a Sabbat. Gotham is pretty much a Sabbat city. We'll have to fudge it anyway. If they figure out that your Sire probably didn't have permission beforehand to turn you, you will be destroyed."

"Prince?" I was SO confused. "Destroyed?"

"It is a side of the night that Batman has never recognized as existing. He ignores it."

"That's our Batman...should of called himself Denialman..."

I managed to get a smile out of him and that pleased me. His face lit up.

"Vampires are very much a part of every major city in America and across the world."

He had gone straight into lecture mode. Dick smoothed his hair with one hand and straightened his frayed T-shirt with the other tucking it into his wrinkled blue jeans. With bare feet he paced in front of the couch I sat on as I listened to every word.

"There are different clans of vampires, each one with characteristics inherent to that clan. Malkavian, for example, are filled with madmen. All of them are complete psychos. Toreadors are... the artists of the bunch...obsessed with beauty in its many forms. Sometimes they even patronize young human artists in their zeal for beauty."

I think he caught the look on my face...a clan of madmen? That could be really bad! He halted in mid-step and turned back to me.

"Luckily, the Malks all have enough sense NOT to turn Joker or any of the other major loonies. The Arkham bunch is crazy enough to upset what is called The Masquerade. The Masquerade is to be upheld above all else. It keeps the humans from ever finding out about and destroying the vampires. Only certain humans are ever allowed to know. I'm one of them. In fact, most gypsies are aware of the Kindred. The Gangrel clan as well as the Ravnos clan is comprised ALMOST entirely of our people. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule, as you well know. Though, never ask a Gangrel about any relationship it might have with a Ravnos...it isn't worth the pain."

Made sense I suppose. The more he talked though, the better I felt. It's a shame that no one outside of the Malkavian clan can truly understand; otherwise I may not have felt that much better.

"Gotham's Prince is, ironically, Malkavian, though the Brujah are jockeying for position. The Prince of Gotham is only a figurehead and as a consequence a...joke. There have been mutterings of the Sabbat deciding to make a move soon."

I muttered, "Who knew vampires were so politically oriented? Uh, what the HELL are the Camarilla, Sabbat, and all the OTHER stuff?"

"The Prince of a city is the...vampire...ruler I guess you could say. Just so it doesn't throw you, Princes can be male or female. Honestly? Once someone is made a vampire; gender, apparent physical age, or much of anything isn't much of an issue either way. They are no longer human and no longer subject to the same beliefs, thoughts, morals, or values. After they are turned, they are no longer the same. They become creatures that wear a human face but beyond that... They become something...different. Something new, a combination of their old self mixed in with...something...else."

I nodded. "I feel...like...I'm not me anymore. I remember everything about being Tim. But I don't feel or think like Tim anymore."

Dick sat down beside me and touched my shoulder. "Some part of Tim IS still there. It is. If it wasn't, I would be dead right now. I look at you...I know that Tim is still inside you. But you are something...new..."

He trailed off and stared at the wall a few seconds before continuing the lecture in a much quieter voice.

"The Prince of Bludhaven is a female. A Brujah vampire. They tend to be rather...bad tempered. It is partially because a Brujah is in control that Bludhaven has become so corrupt. They are very criminal minded. She lets a lot go on that other vampire Princes wouldn't ever allow. Though, to be honest, the reason this is called Bludhaven is because the Ravnos...never mind, I'll explain that later. Maybe. It would be better if we had a Ventrue Prince or even..."

He looked at me and tried to smile. "I know it would seem that the best thing would to get her out of power but it just doesn't work that way."

"I understand." I mean I might not have understood all of it at the time but I got that it wasn't a simple case of beating up the 'bad guy'.

He nodded and kneeled in front of me. I wanted to take him into my arms but understood that would NOT be the thing to do.

I think I should mention that I KNOW Nightwing is an adult capable of taking care of himself and others. He is a fearless leader and is stronger than many 'powered' superheroes...I know all of this. It still doesn't change the fact that I want to hug him and squeeze him and call him George. It also doesn't change the absolutely mushy feelings I get sometimes and the wish to hold him and cuddle him.

"All vampires are called The Kindred. To become a vampire is to be 'Embraced'. An exchange of blood is necessary. The human has to be near death. I knew you had been killed, that you had bled to death...but I didn't know that a vampire hitteitten you and that an exchange had happened. Batman told me it was a cult and that he thought your neck had been...if I had known...I would...have waited for you...to rise. I would have...dug..." He dropped his head forward and sighed.

I grabbed the pillow off the couch and held it across my lap. Something else had decided to rise. I was surprised when I felt his hands on my shoulders. He began to rub them gently and I wanted to lie upon his chest.

Sorry, I did tell you I want to cuddle him.

"There is a riddle, sorta, it is supposed to explain what being a vampire is like. It goes... 'Monsters we are, lest monsters we become.' What that basically means is that vampires MUST commit monstrous acts or they become monsters themselves."

The rubbing became almost hypnotic. It took a lot of concentration not to lose myself. He has the tiniest freckles on his nose, you almost can't see them but they are there. I had to stop myself from counting them.

"The Hunger you feel. It will be with you always and can NEVER be sated. I'm sorry. It is only through feeding that you will be able to control yourself because, if the Hunger is NOT appeased, it will release The Beast within you. The Beast will direct you to do evil, you will become truly EVIL...so you have to feed to keep The Beast from breaking free..."

"I'm not evil right now?" I prayed, 'Please say I'm not. I need to hear you say...'

"Tim, everyone is evil. I'm evil, Batman is evil...even Superman...is evil. We all have the capacity to do evil. But we also have the capacity to NOT act upon it. You can feed on animals. They should be alive...but you can also drink bagged. I wouldn't recommend it if you were trying to pass for human in close circumstances. Warm blood makes you look and feel warm. Cold blood will just make you colder. Some...some vamps...feed on those they consider...evil..."

I shook my head. No, no way...I couldn't. NO! If I ever started, I would never quit and to be honest, I doubt I would continue to make any distinction between good and evil.

Besides? Wouldn't my merely feeding, even on another evildoer, be considered evil in and of itself? You know, I give myself a lot of headaches thinking about crap like this!

He smiled again. "I'm glad you feel that way! But you MUST let me know if you start to feel the Hunger rise. I have to keep you fed! Right now though, you have a lot to learn."

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