The Breaking Wheel

“If there was a God, he wouldn’t let a guy walk right up and shoot you in the face now would he? That’s right, now you get the picture. Truth burns doesn’t it?”
–Henry Rollins


The sun was just beginning to set as Starfire emerged from the mall and into the parking structure. She hadn’t purchased anything though it had been a fun day nonetheless simply wandering through the various shops and watching all of the interesting people pass around her. Still it would have been better if she could have convinced one of the others to join her, they were all so much fun to have around. Even Raven, as Starfire remembered their trip to the mall fondly though Raven did not seem to be comfortable around so many people. It was time to return home though, but perhaps she could convince the others to join her in watching a movie or TV.

Just as the tips of her boots left the concrete floor someone called out from behind her, “Hello, pretty girl.”

“Hello unknown person,” Starfire said, dropping back to the ground and turning around, “are you speaking to...me?”

Her voice trailed off, there was nothing there except empty cars and shadows. She squinted, sure she hadn’t been hearing things, but she was the only one there. Starfire turned back around and nearly jumped in shock. In front of her stood a tall, pale man with long braided hair that was as red as blood. He dressed in a manner that Raven had identified to her as “Gothic” during their trip to the mall. Dark clothes, thick and very heavy looking boots and a long black coat that seemed to swallow his entire body.

“Oh, I am sorry,” Starfire said brightly, “were you addressing me?”

The man said nothing, his face blank except for a very slight rise at the edge of his lips. The silence drew out to an uncomfortable length and the ever-present smile on Starfire’s face began to falter.

“I must be going home now, I am sure my friends are awaiting my return.” Her voice had become cautious, though she still did not move.

It was then that Starfire noticed the man was holding something by his side, it looked like something from the video games that Beast Boy and Cyborg played constantly, the violent ones. With a haunting speed the man raised his arm and Starfire felt as if someone had punched her in the chest a fraction of a second before the sound of a small explosion reached her ears. The unseen force knocked her back and down, and she was dimly aware that she was bleeding before her body met concrete and everything ceased to exist.

The man lowered his arm casually, his face remaining expressionless except for the ghost of a smile on his lips. On the other side of Starfire’s crumpled body another man stepped out from behind a truck. This man was dressed similar to the first, dark clothes and heavy boots though he wore no coat. His hair was much shorter, spiked up and back, though it was the same blood red color. They were similar enough to be brothers, both very tall and pale, slender enough to look frail and with delicate enough facial structures to make them almost pretty.

“Wonderful shot, Mortekai.” the second man said.

“There was literally nothing to it, Malakai,” the first one responded, “though the compliment is appreciated.”

The two moved closer to Starfire’s body, though Mortekai still had his pistol trained on her.

“Do you think she’s dead?” Malakai asked.

“If she isn’t, then she is very close to it.” Mortekai answered.

“Assuming her biology is close to ours.” Malakai said.

Mortekai was silent for a moment, only watching Starfire’s body, “She has stopped breathing and the blood is no longer flowing from the wound. As far as I am able to guess without putting a bullet into her pretty head, she’s dead.”

“Good enough for me,” Malakai said, “but it is time for us to leave, dear Mortekai.”

Mortekai nodded, “But of course.”

The two slipped away from the scene like ghosts, quiet and graceful and seemingly without a trace.


Raven sat three feet above the roof of Titan’s Tower, oblivious to the beautiful view of the sun meeting the water as it sank into the horizon. She was inside of herself, all of her emotions perfectly in check, and her mind wandered freely. It had been a calm day with no one to fight and no emergencies to respond to and she had used the rare occasion mostly to catch up on reading. Raven had left her room only once before now to make herself a cup of tea and ended up having to dodge Cyborg and Beast Boy and the ball comprised entirely of socks that they were hurling at each other.

The day had been wonderfully relaxing, if not a little boring, and she wondered if going to the mall with Starfire would have been so bad after all. There was a twinge in her emotions as Starfire passed through her mind, a sharp stab of jealousy toward the other girl. Though she would never admit it, Raven envied almost everything about Starfire. The way she could speak so freely with everyone, the ease with which she made friends, even her beauty.

Sighing, Raven slowly opened her eyes and lowered herself gently to sit on the edge of the roof, the grinding wheel was coming down. She was able to control all of her emotions with relative ease at this point in her life except for the great grinding wheel that was depression. It was different, so very subtle and impossible to pin down but always there, pressing against her. She thought of it as a grinding wheel because of this, something that bore down on you and slowly, almost unnoticeably, wore away at you until one day you wake up and there is nothing left.

Raven closed her eyes again, how she wished–

(–fear...panic–)

–how she wished that she could–

(–horror...pain–)

–that she could have–

(–spiraling...emptying)

“Starfire ” Raven gasped almost painfully as she felt a distant burst of emotion from the girl.

Raven reached out with her mind trying to sense Starfire who was usually an easily found presence, a bright beacon, but there was nothing. Raven pushed her mind further and felt fear slip around her. She had found Starfire, at the mall of course, but she was so dim that Raven immediately assumed the worst. There was no time to inform the others, she had to go now if Starfire was to live. A black circle spread beneath Raven’s feet and she slid down into it, from one dimension and into the next, almost instantly rising up from a similar black circle next to Starfire’s prone body.

She was right to have assumed the worst, there were easily several pints of blood–Starfire’s blood–forming a large blue-tinted pool next to Starfire’s body. Raven fell next to her knees next to Starfire, desperately trying to keep her emotions in check and identify what had caused to girl to bleed out so quickly. It wasn’t difficult to find the source. A hole the size of a nickel right over where her heart would be, she had been shot. As Raven draped her cloak over Starfire’s body she almost laughed, testament to the fact that she was losing the battle for control over her emotions. It was funny in a terribly morbid way, as much as they all had been through, as much as they faced on a nearly daily basis, someone had actually shot Starfire.

The two sank through the floor of the parking garage and reappeared in the infirmary of Titan’s Tower. Raven could feel her control slipping more by the second, tears were streaming down her face and a multitude of emotions began to flare up. Anger, despair, joy and envy all flashing on and off like a strobe light; she had to keep herself under control for just a few minutes more for Starfire’s sake. Raven laid Starfire on one of the beds as gently as she could, thankful at least for the adrenaline rush the emotional burst was providing her with, and then slammed her fist into the red ‘Emergency’ button over the bed.

Red lights came to life next to their white counterparts all throughout the tower and an alarm klaxon, sounding similar to an old air-raid siren, began to play from hidden speakers on a loop.

“Get up here now ” Raven nearly screamed into the intercom panel next to the emergency button, her voice momentarily drowning out the wail of the alarm.

A row of chairs that had been against the far wall now flew through the air and smashed into the ceiling hard enough to embed themselves there.

Raven had to calm down or she was going to hurt someone. She tried taking deep breaths but could only manage a hitching gasp. Her chest was too tight and the room was getting to small and what was taking them so long? Didn’t they realize that her healing powers weren’t enough to save Starfire? Did they want her to die? Did they want her to lose the one person she could consider herself close to? Or did they want to blame Raven for her death? It would make sense, none of them liked her and with this they could kick her out of the tower and off the team.

Raven fell to her knees and let out a pained scream, her repressed emotions were all trying to break through at once threatening to consume her. She had to calm herself, she had to focus on something. Closing her eyes she saw Starfire alive and well, cheerfully bouncing around and trying to make sure that everyone felt as happy as she did. The tide of emotions withdrew a bit and, slightly surprised, Raven continued to concentrate on thoughts of her friend.

Robin, Cyborg and Beast Boy burst through the door ready for a fight and were physically stunned at what they saw. Starfire laying motionless on a bed, blood staining her torso and Raven on her knees next to the bed, her face contorted with exertion. Black energy swirled around Raven and flickered around several random objects in the room, waiting for the discharge of emotion that would set them off. Also four chairs were stuck in the ceiling.

It was Beast Boy who spoke first, “Dude...what the...?”

“Starfire ” Robin shouted as he nearly leapt over Raven to get to Starfire’s bed.

Cyborg remained still a moment as the circuits embedded into his brain tissue booted up as they did in any extremely high stress situation. His computer assisted brain quickly assessed the situation and its priorities. Raven was radiating dangerous levels of energy but was also reabsorbing it at the same rate, if she could remain in control long enough for her emotions to balance everything would be fine. Starfire’s vitals were almost non-existent, she was either already dead or dying and almost certainly in a coma, she was the top priority. Cyborg quickly moved to the unoccupied side of her bed and activated his internal medical software, cross-referencing it with the files he had on Tamaranean anatomy.

“Why are we just standing here? We have to do something ” Robin said, gripping the bed rails tight enough to make the veins stand out on his arms.

“Listen,” Cyborg said, “Starfire is seriously hurt and the only thing you getting worked up will do is kill her.”

“I can’t just stand around and do nothing I have to–

“Can you perform surgery? Do you know Tamaranean anatomy?” Cyborg interrupted, “The only thing you can do in here is get in my way Robin, I understand how you feel but there is a reason that a hospital has a waiting room.” He looked back down at Starfire, “I need you and Beast Boy to leave now.”

Beast Boy who had been staring silently at Starfire for the past minute finally looked away from her body, “What..what about Raven?” The tears that now began to spill from his eyes were obvious in his voice.

Raven could have been mistaken for a statue at this point, since the three boys had entered the room not even her facial expression had changed.

“If you really want to try moving her you can, but she is fine where she is.” Cyborg said.

“I’m not going to leave her ” Robin pressed on but Cyborg was ignoring him at this point, busying himself by washing his hands in a nearby sink.

Beast Boy wordlessly transformed into a large gorilla and easily pried Robin from Starfire’s bed, pinning the boy against his chest. He figured that Cyborg knew best and it would be hard to concentrate with Robin yelling orders every five seconds. With some effort Beast Boy was able to squeeze himself and Robin through the door but not before Robin kicked him nearly a dozen times in an effort to get free.

As soon as the door was shut behind them Cyborg locked it not trusting Robin to stay away and not sure if Beast Boy would be able to keep him from getting in. They lacked a full operating theater in the tower but they did have most of the necessary tools, minus some of the vital sign monitors but Cyborg’s electronic eye and medical software could do most of that. By the time he had laid out everything he would need to operate on Starfire, Raven had regained herself and was standing calmly beside the bed.

“Do you feel up to being my assistant?” Cyborg asked.

Raven nodded, quickly wiping her eyes, and moved beside and slightly behind Cyborg.

“Well, here we go.” Cyborg said, “Scissors.”

Raven quickly placed the scissors into his waiting hand and he began to cut.