Internalized

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, nor do I make any money from this fictional writing.

The music kept on.

Reel Big Fish pounded out "Kiss Me Deadly", trailing off - before Beast Boy hit 'Back' once more, wanting to hear the horns, the guitars, and the kiss. He considered earlier switching up to some of The Clash or Cake, but no - "Kiss Me Deadly" was where he wanted to be right now. After a night of personal lust, he was thinking more romantically this morning. Maybe goofy romantic - but romantic nonetheless.

He sighed, sprawled out on his bed, blinking every now and then, thinking of one thing.

"I'm Bisexual." It cropped up over and over again, more than usual. Most of the time, it would be a stray thought or two during the day, and if it got particularly bad, he released it in a night of self-pleasuring, thinking about the gorgeous, wonderful superheroes he got to work with and meet on a day to day basis. But last night didn't satisfy. It was some great fantasies, sure, but that word itched at him - Fantasies. That's all they were, and if he didn't do anything, that's all they would be. Little guilty dreams he had about teammates and other heroes and heroines.

The fear of telling paralyzed Beast Boy. He once considered finding a civillian girlfriend on the side - but that came with too much risk. Someone kidnapping, deliver money/your lives, etc, etc. And a civillian boyfriend would carry both that risk, plus the media jumping down his throat with inqueries of "OhmygodisGarfieldLogan,TheBeastBoy, GAY?!?" He didn't want to risk someone's social life, or their actual life. No, it had to be someone who could detach themselves from the media, and could defend themselves.

Beast Boy sat up on his bed, breathing out, his eyelids going heavy. His right hand went up and rubbed the back of his neck softly, whimpering a bit.

"Might as well get today over with..." He yawned and stretched out, stepping out of his bed, and grabbing something else to wear than cum-stained boxers, finding a loose white t-shirt, and khaki shorts. Functional. Easy. He grabbed his outfit and carried it along, just in case there was an impromptu mission later.

Beast Boy dragged himself to the kitchen, connected to the living room. Cyborg was on the couch watching TV - a History channel special on metahumans, apparently. Beast Boy smiled a little tiredly before opening up the fridge, finding oranges, peaches, and cream to make himself a smoothie. Possibly a light salad with some ranch dressing for breakfast. Or a tempeh burrito, spiced up with one of Cyborg's BBQ sauces.

"I TiVoed that genetics an' dna thing on Nova you wanted to see so bad, BB." Cyborg let out calmly, waving his hand over the couch, making sure to get his attention.

Beast Boy blinked twice before his early-morning synapses finally kicked into gear and processed what Cyborg had just said.

"Oh. Thanks." He said, grinning again, waking up a bit more once he pressed 'Mix' on the blender. His eyes passed over the wide-screen tv, seeing the original superheroes fly by on it, before Cyborg caught his attention again by turning around, looking BB in the eye, and asking very matter-of-factly:

"Why were you interested in that show anyway? I see you as more of a cartoons kinda guy. And MAYBE one of those cop shows."

"Oh..well, since my powers are about rebuilding my dna in seconds...I was kinda curious about how it all worked." He answered, pausing for half-yawns and to fully complete thoughts before speaking.

"Huh. So... wanna play Street Fighter or something once you finally finish breakfast?" Cyborg responded.

"Picking me off when I'm weak and tired..." He smiled back, and dumped the smoothie into a tall glass, throwing back half of it into his mouth, wiping off the rest that would not go down his throat and instead landed on his face. "Not Street Fighter. Hell, I don't think I even wanna play a video game first thing in the morning."

"So what DO you wanna do? I ain't waitin' around for Starfire and Raven to wake up to do something today, and Robin's out doing his own thing again." Cyborg said, a little smugly, throwing back a grin.

Beast Boy knocked back the rest of his smoothie, a little slower, making one final gulp of peaches, oranges 'n cream, along with a little embarassment. Asking Cyborg this was a little risky.

"Y'wanna just..head out into the city? Before there's any traffic or anything? Maybe buy some stuff?"

"God help me if you mean shopping, BB." Cyborg shot back with an eyeroll and a smirk.

"Girls 'shop'. Guys buy stuff, Cyborg." Beast Boy returned the smirk, putting away the blender and glass.

"Alright. I'm up for a morning walk an' buyin' crap, so long as it ain't clothes." He stood up, and walked over to the elevator, Beast Boy quickly following after, stepping into the elevator, and out to Cyborg's garage. They set their 'Status' on their communicators to 'On-call', just in case something big got dialed in.

"Still don't have your license yet, do ya, green jeans?" Cyborg broke the silence as he came over to the driver's seat of the T-car, leaving Beast Boy with shotgun.

"Nope. Usually don't need it, seeing as how I can just turn into a cheetah and run everywhere..."

It was a slow drive - much slower than the breakneck pace of chasing after a villain. Beast Boy was quietly surprised at first, but then figured 'Hey. It's early morning, and they have no destination in particular. Cyborg was probably just going to enjoy taking the T-car out, savoring it.'

A long awkward silence came over them as they rolled towards the city, Beast Boy sometimes fidgeting with his hands, Cyborg calmly focused on the drive.

Beast Boy returned to his thoughts this morning. The pain of keeping it all shoved inside of him. Of being afraid of being silently isolated from the team because he liked men as well as women. That sometimes he even dreamt of his teammates holding him close, running their hands with over him, intimate needs in their hearts.

He looked over and up at Cyborg. His best friend. They played jokes, they made fun of eachother, they both were insanely competitively against each other - what could they be but best friends.

'But...sometimes Cyborg is...too blunt.' Beast Boy thought. He might not understand the complexity of being bisexual - sometimes, he even heard gays saying people couldn't be bisexual. That they were on way or another.

The two thoughts quietly battled eachother in Beast Boy's head. The city drew closer.

'Best Friend' and 'Sucking it up' won out.

"Hey...Cyborg."

"Yeah? Got someplace in particular you wanna go, Beastie?"

"No...I was thinking....you're my best friend, right?"

"'Course!" Cyborg shot back, as if by instinct, not a seconds delay.

"And I can tell you anything, and you'll listen, right?" Beast Boy added, rapidly growing more nervous, trying to find a grip on his nerve and finally tell someone - finally tell his best friend. Start being honest.

"Yeah. Duh. Best friends aren't here to beat you up each time you tell them something personal."

"Well, uhm..."

Cyborg grinned madly, expecting something juicy. Did BB have a crush on someone? Did someone have a crush on BB? Did he know of a party that he could bring someone to, and he was choosing cyborg?

Beast Boy finally shot it out after shooting up all the courage in him like a syringe needle.

"I'm bisexual, Cyborg."

Cyborg's eye went up, pupil dilating a little. Fevered thoughts fired like cannons in Beast Boy's head...'Should've kept it a secret, should not have said anything, he must think I'm a freak...'

"You know I'm straight, right, BB?"

The thoughts slowed down.

"Uh...yeah."

"And you're not hitting on me, right?"

Beast Boy nodded.

"Oh. Well, okay then." Cyborg did not break the eye contact - leaving Beast Boy only more curious. 'Okay?' 'Okay' was not the response he was expecting.

"So...you're not freaked out?" BB pressed on, a canine tooth pressing into his lower lip.

"No...Okay, that's a lie. I'm freaked out a little. But not, like...well, I'm not gonna tell you you're evil and you need to get to a church or anything. I just kinda assumed you only liked girls...and that'll take a little adjusting to. But if you mean am I MAD at you? Uh-uh. No way. I mean, look at us. I'm made up of body and machine parts, Robin overreacts all the time, you change into animals, and Starfire's an alien."

A brief pause, as Cyborg shifted a gear.

"I'm used to weird. I am weird. It would be kinda hypocritical to be homophobic."

Beast Boy released the bite on his lip, smiling.

"Thanks, Cyborg."

"No prob, Beast."

They arrived in the city, pulling out of the car with a deliberate pace, Cyborg setting a complicated lock in place.

"You realize, tho, now you should...no, you GOTTA tell everyone else on the team, BB."

Beast Boy blushed a little, having not thought about this.

"Oh..shit...yeah...who do you think I should start with first?"

Cyborg grinned ear to ear.

"Starfire. She'll take it the best. 'Course, you'll have to explain a lot.."

Beast Boy nodded, still red in the face.

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