I never told you

the battle was a harsh one. they're foe, Blackfire and the Hive five fought hard. right before they could be beaten, beast boy watched as raven was slammed into a wall by Blackfire, her neck snapping.
"NO!" he screamed, rushing over to her.
Cyborg let out a cry of fury and shot Blackfire into the wall, before starfire grabbed Blackfire and punched her sister in the side of the head.
"Is...is..." Gizmo asked looking over, with wide eyes.
".....she's going to die..." Beast boy whispered, staring at his girlfriend.
Blood came from her mouth but she smiled.
"beast boy...everyone..."she whispered weakly." I have no regrets....I loved you all.... starfire, i loved how you could make anything seem good....Cyborg, i loved you smile and how you always made me smile...robin....your confindace always drove me on..beast boy...Garfield....I love you honey....with all of my being...please....don't become a bitter person...live on...and....and....
raven spat up more blood, and then she was gone. dead and beyond anyways reach.
robin stared at her body then yelled out and stuck the staring Gizmo hard, knocking him out.
Cyborg said nothing, just slowly turned away then ran out of the room, wailing.
starfire began to cry right away and knelt by her dead friend and kissed her forehead.
"you shall be missed......" she said slowly.
beast boy stared at her for a long time. everyone else left and the body actually began to smell before he pressed his lips to hers.
" i can't belive your gone...i still expect you to come back with a wise ass comment...."he said with a weak smile.
her still form made him tear up even more as he started to sob.
"there are so many things i wanted to tell you...i wanted to marry you...i wanted to......wanted to....none of it matters now does it?...I made robin spare every one...i know you would of wanted it that way....."
He fell silent and stared at her body.
"raven...please just get up....tell me it was just a huge joke....i won't mind...i just want you back..." he whimpered.
Her still move was clutched close to him and he sighed.
"all of those times...i said ditto after you said you loved me...I was always a immature jerk...i never fully showed you what you meant to me..." his tear ran freely now. "raven....please get up...your not dead...your not dead!"
a hand found it's way to his shoulder and he looked up to see robin.
"I loved her too BB.....we're all going to miss her...."
beast boy stared at him for but a moment before dashing out of the room. robin stared at ravens body and they began to make the arrangement for her funeral, barely able to finish it. but the time he was done, beast boy was in his mothers arms crying.
"I just want her back...i never told her..." H cried.
"she knew beast boy...she knew..' Rita would try and tell him.
....i want her back...why....why..." he whimpered
"No one knows their time and place....but she was happy with it...beast boy....*rita pulled him so he was looking at her "she was OK with it...don't do nothing dumb...."
Beast boy sniffled and nodded. she was talking about him killing himself. he wanted to be with raven, but he was too scared of death to kill himself, so he promised. what would he do?where would he go? he had no clue. all he knew was that he couldn't go back to the titans...he couldn't stay with the doom patrol....he needed something...more....
he walked away from his confused mom and headed for a door. what he needed to find was himself. and if he didn't make it, he wouldn't mind.
"Hang on raven, I'll find a way to talk to you yet.." He said slowly.