F You

F You

Flora_Winters

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Spiderman and I’m not making any money here either.

Summary: Peter is feeling something towards his best friend and he doesn’t know how to express it the way he would like to. Harry has his own plan to get Peter right where he wants him and keep him forever and ever within a web of his own weaving. Language, MM, Violence, WD, WIP. Blasphemous

Prologue

So you say
It’s not okay to be gay
Well I think
You’re just evil
You’re just some racist
Who can’t tie my laces
Your point of view
Is medieval
Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cos we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don’t stay in touch

--Lily Allen


“You son of a heartless cunt!” Andrea Smith, Zombie Slayer, shouted from the large movie screen as she fired bullet after bullet into the stalking dead guy’s rotting form. “Hold still so I can blow your fucking face off, you putrid bitch!”

Peter Parker couldn’t help but snicker as he popped some butter drowned popcorn into his smirking mouth. This film was much more than a trip. It was a roll and tumble off a high mountaintop.

“Don’t fuck with me fellows!” She yelled, throwing her now useless firearm at a maggoty dog and began climbing up a rather conveniently placed ladder as quickly as she could. She reached the top and snarled down. “I’ll teach you moldy old whores to get back up and snap your funky maws at pretty little me!”

He took a glance out the corner of his eye to see that his best friend was sound asleep. Harry Osborn was softly snoring over the sound of screams drowning in blood and fragile human flesh being torn and pulled asunder by skeletal talons. It caused him to shake his head. Harry could sleep through anything. Hell, he would sleep through a Zombie Apocalypse.

“This is the end for all humanity!” The Queen of the Undead cackled up a literal storm of death. “The light of the morning sun shall bleed upon a new world of unbridled terror!”

“Oh, do shut your stupid face already, Alexis!” The star of the show hissed, walking into frame. “Just because we didn’t let you in Gamma Omega Delta, didn’t mean you had to go all Wicca-Voodoo Queen on us.”

“Attack, my zombie stud muffins!” Alexis pointed with a vicious snarl. “Tear out her frilly blond hair by its black roots and bite her plastic tits off!”

“You little bitch!” Andrea shouted, going for the flamethrower. “I’m a natural blond!”

“Of course you are, my dear,” Alexis howled with laughter, sending zombie frat brothers after her. “And my vagina is unshaved.”

Peter literally choked on his drink, having it come out his nose. He began coughing because his nostrils were stinging. It caused his eyes to water as well. He had not seen that coming at all as he sniffed.

He suddenly stiffened when something fell against his shoulder. He looked to see that Harry had fallen against him. The redhead just seemed to snuggle closer to his warmth.

“Um, Harry,” he whispered, nudging him just a little. “You’re missing the movie.”

The rich boy was dead to the world. This had been all his idea anyway.

“Come on, Parker,” Harry had whined. “You never want to do anything with me anymore. All you want to do is go to the museum and stare for hours at dead things.”

“I do not,” he had argued right back with him. “I also like going to the biology lab.”

“Where you poke and prod at dead things,” Harry had sulked, playfully punching him in the shoulder. “Perhaps I should just fall over dead. Then you’d spend time with me.”

“Don’t joke about things like that,” he had snapped at his best friend. “That’s not even funny. I don’t even have a box big enough to keep you in.”

“Come on, Harry,” he said, nudging him again. “You’re the one who wanted to do this. It was all your idea after all.”

“Hmm?” Green eyes slowly opened.

“I said,” Peter sighed, rolling his eyes. “You’re missing the movie.”

Harry sat up, not looking bothered at all that he had been sleeping against his broad shoulder. The guy was so eccentric. Nothing ever seemed to faze him the slightest little bit. Well, the two of them have been the best of friends since forever.

“This movie is boring,” the redhead muttered, folding his arms over his chest, puffing up like a sour bullfrog on a log. “Next time, I’ll be the one who flips the quarter.”

“You did flip the quarter!” Peter yelled at him, getting looked at by almost everyone in the theatre. He quickly settled down and then hissed in Harry’s ear. “And the penny, and the nickel, and the dime, and the silver dollar.”

“You just didn’t teach me how to do it right,” Harry snapped right back at him. “You know I’ve never touched change in my life. I didn’t even know what a penny looked like until you bounced one off my forehead, which I still haven’t forgiven you for, by the way.”

Peter was just about to strangle him, but fell back in his seat, feeling exhausted. The redhead just wore him out.

“Do you want to just leave?” Peter asked him, turning his head to the side. “I can tell you’re not having any fun at all.”

How Harry wasn’t having any fun watching this movie was beyond him. It was terrible and funny as hell. He had no idea it was a dark comedy. The previews had made it look really scary, but it was simply hilarious. The film had literally jumped the shark and then fucked it from behind.

“No, we’ll stay,” Harry said, looking like he was trying to focus on staying awake. “I get bored too easily, that’s all. I’m just glad that you’re here.”

Peter suddenly felt his cheeks warm. He would always get nervous when Harry would talk or say something like that. Why did Harry always have to make it sound like they were on a date together?

“I told you to hold still, goddamn it!” Andrea shouted from the screen, chasing after the half naked Zombie Queen with a roaring chainsaw. “I just want to give you a big hug! Why won’t you accept my pure love? Accept it, you bitch! Accept my crazy love!”

Harry started to laugh.

“What?” Peter asked. “Are you actually getting into it now?”

Harry shook his head. “I was just thinking that it would be funny if that was you and me up there doing all that.”

Peter really felt himself begin to blush and then he coughed. “I get the chainsaw.”

“Overcompensating much, Parker?” Harry asked, looking at him with those glowing eyes. “And here I always assumed you were a “big” boy.”

Peter felt himself making a tight fist. Osborn was really asking for it. If they weren’t in public, he would have jumped him way back when.

“Come on,” he said, getting to his feet. “I’m bored now, too. Let’s just go back home.”

“What?” Harry asked, looking alarmed. “Why?”

“I want to finish the book I’m reading,” he said, ducking down as he moved by him. “I do have class tomorrow.”

“But,” Harry said, following along behind him as they left the showing room. “I thought we were hanging out.”

“We can hang out at the apartment,” Peter said, sticking his hands into his jean pockets. “And order a pizza or something.”

Harry made a face. “I don’t want to go back. Let’s sneak into another movie.”

“How old are you again?” Peter asked, spinning around to walk backwards. “Thirteen?”

Harry instantly pouted. “I never got to be thirteen, Peter,” he said, looking this way and that. “I never got to have fun. I didn’t even know what fun was until I met you and now you don’t even want to have any anymore.”

Peter stopped, threw his head back, squeezing the bridge of his nose. “I do like to have fun, Harry. Just not when I have more important things to do.”

“Like what?” Harry asked, putting his hands on his slender hips, narrowing his emerald eyes at his taller form. “You have to go home and read a book that you’ve already read five times.”

“Four,” Peter corrected him and then made a sour face to match. “And that’s beside the point. I just need to refresh my memory, that’s all. You know how important my grades are to me.”

“Here,” Harry said, pulling out his checkbook. “I’ll give you ten million dollars. Now, come have fun with me and forget about college.”

“Make it twenty,” Peter joked. “And you’ve got a deal.”

Harry whipped out his golden pen and began writing, and Peter literally growled as he snatched the guy’s checkbook away from him. He immediately began tearing up the check into itty bitty pieces, letting the wind blow them wherever it wished.

“Why did you go and do that for?” Harry asked, taking his leather bound checkbook back. “College is just an overpriced waste of time anyway, Peter.”

“That’s not the point,” Peter said, walking on again. “I don’t want your money, Harry.”

“You don’t have to want it, Peter,” Harry grinned from ear to ear. “I just want to give it to you, that way you don’t have to stress out so much.”

Peter kept quiet.

“You can quit that stupid job,” he said. “And you can spend more time with Aunt May.”

That did sound really nice to Peter, but he could never do that. He could never just take money from someone without earning it. Plus, he enjoyed college. It was a lot of fun.

“How about you take a class with me, Harry?” He suddenly asked. “The spring semester will be over in four weeks. You can take a short summer class with me. How about it? It’ll be fun.”

“Me?” Harry asked, making a face. “Go to school during the summer? What did they put in that popcorn? I’ll sue!”

“I would like for you to take a summer class with me, Harry,” he said once more, trying to get him to simmer down. “We can take something fun. I’ll print off the summer roster and let you go through it. We could take a physical education class together.”

“Look at this, Peter,” Harry said, taking hold of his arm. “We’re walking. Looks like physical education to me. And would you look at this? We’re doing it for free. Now take your one credit and run with it.”

Peter lowered his head in defeat. There was just no talking to him when he got like this. Harry hated anything that had to do with school and homework. That was just all there was to it. The Osborn heir was impossible.

“Um, Harry,” he finally managed to say. “I think you can let go of my arm now.”

“Why?” Harry asked. “Are you afraid someone might see us and point?”

Peter nodded. “That’s one reason.”

Harry let him go with a childish sneer. “You care too much about what people think.”

“And you don’t seem to care quite enough,” Peter retorted rather sharply.

“Oh, I do care,” Harry said. “Just not in the same way as you do.”

“So,” Peter said, changing the subject as quickly as he could. “Are you going to take a class with me or not? You said you wanted to spend more time with me.”

Harry sighed and made a funny sound with his lips.

“Fine,” the redhead finally said, looking down at his feet as they walked.

Peter managed a real smile. “Good. That makes me happy.”

“It does?” Harry asked, looking up at him. “Really?”

Peter nodded. “Yes.”

“Well, why didn’t you just say that to begin with?” The green-eyed monster snapped with vicious, acid dripping fangs. “If you had told me that sooner I would have agreed sooner.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Do you always want to do what makes me happy?”

Harry nodded. “Why? Is there something wrong with that?”

No, Peter only thought to his little old self. It’s just really weird and makes me wonder about you, a lot.

He shook his head.

“Good,” Harry smiled with perfect teeth. “Oh, I forgot all about this little thing I was going to tell you about. Are you free next weekend?”

Peter felt like his spider sense should have been going off the roof right about now. Nothing good ever came from anything when Harry forgot to tell him about something. Especially when he said that it was something little.

“Depends on what this little thing is,” he countered. “I might have a paper to write that I’ve already finished and turned in early.”

Harry blinked and scratched his head. “I’ll work that one out later. I won this trip to a spa.”

Peter cocked his head to the side. “You won a trip to a spa? How did you manage that?”

“It involved me opening up a cereal box to get the little toy prize,” he said, nodding his head. “The inside was all gold and the bottom said that I was a winner.”

“And you’re just telling me this now,” he said.

Harry nodded. “Like I told you, I forgot.”

Peter thought it over. “What kind of spa?”

“Well,” Harry said. “The kind that has pools, hot tubs, mud baths, massages, body wraps, and all that health stuff.”

“Um,” Peter said. “That sounds kind of…”

“Fun?” Harry asked, sounding hopeful.

“Sure,” Peter said. “I’ll go with that.”

“So you’ll go?” Harry asked, sounding even more hopeful. “I did win and I have no one else I would rather share it with.”

Peter didn’t see a way out of this web. Since when did Harry become an expert at weaving no escapes in sight.

He gave his own Crest white smile. “Sure. I’ll go with you, Harry.”

“Excellent,” Harry chuckled rather darkly and then coughed a few times as if he had gotten choked. It did nothing to put Peter at ease. “We leave out Friday.”

His cell phone began to ring and he pulled it out of his pocket.

“Hello,” he said. “Oh, hi, Felicia.”

He didn’t see the darkness steal across Harry’s shadowy face. The redhead looked as if his eyes could cut through steel.

“No, I’m sorry,” he said, trying to keep the pout from sounding in his voice. “I’ve already made some plans with Harry for this weekend. Could we try for next?”

He didn’t see the redhead smirk with triumph.

“Oh, well, you and Flash have a good time then,” he managed to say. He really didn’t like that guy at all. He was such a jerk. “Bye.”

He flipped his cell phone shut and slid it back into his back pocket.

“Something wrong?” Harry asked.

He shook his head. “Let’s go home. My head hurts.”

“I’ll fix you some tea,” Harry offered.

“No, that’s all right,” he said, throwing his hands out at him. “I can do without the stomach ache.”

Harry pouted. “You just don’t appreciate my kindness.”

“I do appreciate your kindness, Harry,” Peter said, feeling as tired as his voice now sounded in his ears. “And I live in fear of your wrath.”

“As well you should,” Harry laughed, walking backwards in front of him now. “Because I have the time and the crazy wealth to put you through all the hells I can pay someone to create in order for me to torture you with.”

“Just so you know,” Peter told him. “I’m sleeping with my door locked tonight and every night from now on.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Harry said. “I had a spare key made.”

“Are you serious?” He asked. “You didn’t.”

“Of course I did,” Harry told him. “What if you locked the door and began choking on a snack or injured yourself something terrible and I couldn’t get in to help you?”

Peter didn’t know what to think. It was now official. His best friend was indeed crazy. He sure did know how to pick them. The redhead was out of his mind.

“Let’s get some ice cream to eat on the way home,” Harry said, leading the way to an ice cream shop. “I want to try the new flavor they got.”

“Oh?” Peter managed to ask. “What flavor is that?”

Harry turned with a wicked smirk. “Spiderman.”


To Be Continued.

Please review and tell me what you think. I know Harry sounds a little OC, but he is just one of those kinds of characters you can take, shape, and mold all you want. Plus, I just find his childish crazy rather endearing. But, don’t worry. He’s not stupid or anything like that. In fact, he is quite the little genius, as you will all soon find out. So, please take the time to review and tell me if you want to see more.

Flora.