Thor: Whore of Thunder

"I'll ask you again, and this time I want an actual answer: who are you, and why do you have Thor's hammer?"

Thor --- she was Thor now, she reminded herself --- ran her fingers along Mjolnir's shaft, feeling the uru mallet's weight in her fingers, a not-so-subtle display of her weaponry that was not lost on Maria Hill.

"And I will tell you again, mortal---"

"Director Hill."

"And I will tell you again, Director Hill, that I am Thor, and that the thunder roars as fiercely at my call as it did for my predecessor."

Do I actually sound like that? The hammer had given her the power of Thor, but apparently it had also given her the power to speak like something Shakespeare might have come up with on one of his slow days. 

Maria Hill wasn't the first person she'd had this conversation with. She'd sat down with Captain America already and faced the same questions, and then she'd sat down with Iron Man, who'd asked the questions while adding that she was easier on the eyes than the previous Thor. She'd held her silence on both those occasions, and the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D was now tasked with making one final attempt at getting some answers. When Nick Fury went rogue on the moon, he'd whispered something to Thor --- the real Thor, as the Avengers had taken to calling him in her presence --- that had made the Asgardian's legendary weapon deem him unworthy, falling from his hands and refusing to budge even when Thor pulled so hard the moon threatened to break apart. No one had been able to understand it, not even mighty Odin, but after they had finally given up and abandoned Mjolnir where it lay, news began to spread that the hammer had chosen a new owner, and that a woman was now calling herself Thor, Goddess of Thunder.

Hill pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation as she paced around Stark Tower. It frustrated her to no end that an unknown quantity was carrying around a weapon that was an extinction-level threat in the wrong hands, and that she couldn’t really do anything to get answers apart from asking nicely.

"Lady, I know Thor. I'm sure you know what he looks like. Tall enough for the NBA, shoulders like a linebacker's bigger brother? Ring a bell? Did I mention he's also a guy?"

She has a point, she thought. Thor was his name, not his title. Maybe it was silly to call herself Thor. But Thor's hammer had chosen her, and she had watched with wonder as the ancient inscription on its surface changed as she held it in her hand. 

"Whosoever holds this hammer, if she be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor"

That couldn't have been a coincidence. The hammer wanted to be held by Thor, and it had chosen her to be Thor in his stead. 

"Nevertheless, I am Thor," she said, trying to sound as confident in that statement as she could. "And I wield the Thunderer's weapon because Mjolnir has deemed me worthy." She cringed internally every time she finished a sentence. Would it really be so hard to say "I picked up Mjolnir, so I'm Thor now?" Why did the hammer have to make her sound so pompous?

If that explanation was intended to convince someone, it was not Maria Hill, but she seemed disinclined to argue the point any further. "Alright, whatever, moving on......the offer Captain Rogers made when you talked to him----"

"My answer has not changed."

"Listen, Thor," Hill snapped, her voice heated. "It's not an offer. You're going to join the Avengers. If you're anything like the last person to hold that hammer, you're too damn powerful to be running around the planet unsupervised."

That rankled with her. "I fight for Midgard, Director Hill. If our goals should align, so be it, but I will not pledge my allegiance simply because you demand it."

"You’re not---“

Hill's words were interrupted by an underling who charged into the room, slamming the doors wide open as he hurried towards the Director, a razor-thin tablet in his hands and a bursting stitch in his chest from running as fast as he could. "Director, I'm sorry, but you have to see this---"

"I'm in the middle of something here, Coleman---“

“I know, but you told us to find you the second we identified an incident with the subject.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “It’s the Hulk.”

Hill swore violently and grabbed the tablet, and then swore some more when she saw what was on it. S.H.I.E.L.D had a highly sophisticated system set up with only one purpose: tracking the Hulk’s fluctuating threat level. When he was calm, the readings were steady, and everybody breathed easy.

When the readings were through the roof, as they were at that moment, he was not calm. He was very angry, and had found someone to direct that anger against.

“Where?”

“Uganda, we think. The forest cover is too thick to get a clear shot.”

The Thor problem had been brushed aside the second the Hulk had entered the picture, and Hill weighed her options carefully. The Avengers-A Team was in space, somewhere in the Large Magellanic Cloud. The B Team was undercover in Madripoor, and they didn’t have the firepower to handle the Hulk at any rate. S.H.I.E.L.D had a division of Hulkbusters; elite soldiers trained and armed specifically to handle Hulk-related emergencies. But the best they’d ever been able to do was distract the Hulk away from habitations.

“Alright,” she finally said, her fist clenching and unclenching in involuntary stress relief, “Alright, alright……scramble a Hulkbuster team together ASAP, let’s see if---- hey, where the hell do you think you’re going?”

The Goddess of Thunder had cranked open a window and stood with one foot on the sill, the wind tossing her blonde locks in every direction.

Am I really going to do this?

“If this Hulk has emerged to threaten Midgard, then I will bring him to his knees,” she said, “Tell me where he lurks so I may confront him.”

Maria was in two minds. The last thing S.H.I.E.L.D needed was some foreign dignitary screaming bloody murder in front of the United Nations about American superheroes terrorizing their countries. A Thor --- any Thor --- provided the best odds of bringing down the Hulk, but this particular Thor was untested and untrusted. 

“I don’t know anything about you, lady. I’m not sending an unknown element in against the Hulk.”

"If you would doubt my oath to protect Midgard, Director Hill, then I will prove myself to you. Spare your warriors, and tell me where I may find the beast."

Hill looked at the flustered Coleman, who punched in a few numbers on his tablet to check the location. “The Rwenzori Mountains. Some people call them the Mountains of the Moon. Exact co-ordinates are---

What the exact co-ordinates were, he never got to say, for Thor had swung her hammer around at blinding speeds, whipping up a storm in the room before flying out through the window and away from sight. When the Hulk was mad, you could hear it for miles. There was no need for exact co-ordinates. Hill watched the windows creak and sway in the wind, and prayed she had made the right call.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The golden realm of Asgard lay hidden in a dimension beyond mortal sight, and for days the great city had been in an uproar. The royal family locked themselves away in their grand palace, confirming nothing and denying nothing, and so the tales took root in the taverns and brothels of the gods.

Thor was disgraced, they whispered, their eyes peering over their shoulders as if afraid the God of Thunder would hear them. Condemned by his own hammer, and replaced by a woman.

Many refused to believe a word of it, but where was Thor? Why had he not returned to Asgard to dispel the rumors? Why was Odin silent? Every day they thronged around the palace and in and out of the taverns, waiting for the latest news, but in a tower on the outskirts of the city, one god was keeping a close eye on the developments on Midgard.

Amora the Enchantress had been Thor’s foe, ally and lover at different points of time, and while others needed rumors and stories to fuel their curiosity, she did not. At the highest chamber of her tower, she gazed into her divining pool and saw the new “Thor” soar above the skies of Africa on her search for the Hulk.

A hammer and a name do not a Thunder God make. 

The ravens squawked as her fingers stroked the waters of the pool, rippling the image of the Goddess of Thunder as she descended into the forests of Uganda. A mile north of her location, Amora could see the monsters the mortals called the Hulk, and the pandemonium he had left in his wake. She had watched Thor fight the Hulk many times before. The jade giant had the strength to rival any god.And now, pretender, we will see how you measure up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Beautiful,” she murmured.

The deepest reaches of the Mountains of the Moon had been untouched for centuries, blanketed in a thin mist that rolled down from the peaks and cooled the land. The only sounds she could hear were the quiet chirps and calls of the fauna, and for a while she thought she had landed in the wrong place. But as she ventured further into the foliage, the chirps and calls were not so quiet; they became an urgent, frightened cacophony, and she knew she was on the right track.

The ground shook suddenly and her hand flew to her waist, gripping the hammer as she prepared for what was coming. Without warning, something massive came charging out of the forest and rammed into her as hard as it could, sending her reeling to the ground, wincing uncomfortably as its massive feet trampled her into the forest floor. She rolled away and saw a herd of elephants running helter-skelter, terrified of what lay behind them. Shakily, she pulled herself to her feet and brushed the dirt off her elbows. She was not hurt, but getting trampled by an elephant was not a pleasant experience.

When the dust had settled in the elephants’ wake, she could hear more noises ahead, but these were not made my animals. She rushed forward and saw men running in her direction; natives of the Mountains who had stumbled upon the Hulk’s sanctuary and aroused his ire.

“Shetani!” they screamed, running for their lives. Their word for “demon”.

And then the demon emerged, peeling free from the forest around them. He stood nine feet tall, wearing nothing but tattered purple pants, his mad eyes bulging as they followed the runners. In his giant green hands, he held an entire tree, and it was obvious what he planned to do with it.

"Everywhere Hulk goes, puny men won't leave him alone!" he roared, his voice shaking the forest and ringing in her ears. "Hulk will smash men until they stay away!"

He threw the tree right at the men, and it exploded into a rain of splinters as she managed to destroy it in the nick of time. Swinging Mjolnir around as swiftly as she could, she made the sky darken and growl, and in a blinding flash, a streak of lightning touched down to Midgard, striking the Hulk right between his eyes. He roared in pain and pawed at his face, and she yelled for the men to run. Even though they did not understand her language, they were more than happy to oblige.

The air smelled of smoke and ammonia, and she could see the Hulk still stood, angrier than ever. He lunged forward and she jumped back, and his mighty fist smashed down upon the spot where she had stood. Face to face, she could smell his burnt hair and see the veins close to popping in his eye; all the lightning had accomplished was to aggravate him further.

Should have known it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“Hammer man has crossed Hulk for the last time!” the behemoth screamed, spittle flying through the wind. “Hulk will----“

The Hulk’s anger dissipated for a few brief seconds, replaced by wide-eyed disbelief as he sized up the threat standing in front of him. Having fought Thor on countless occasions, he was no stranger to getting struck by lightning, and associated it with the God of Thunder instinctively. But this was no Thor he had ever seen before.

“You are not hammer man,” he growled, eyes narrowing in suspicion.  “Hammer man is man.”

Everyone’s a critic, she thought. Aloud she said, “Yield, monster! You will return with me to the city of New York, where I will leave you in the hands of the Avengers. Resist, and risk the wrath of Tho---”

He moved faster than she would have ever thought possible for someone of his size, and she caught a brief glimpse of his fist speeding toward her face before she was sent flying into the trees. Stars swam in her vision, and her neck groaned in pain when her flight was finally stopped by a head-on collision with a tree. She rubbed her aching head and saw the Hulk a long way off, his booming voice so loud she could have heard him a mile away.

“Hulk not go anywhere!” he roared, scraping his feet against the floor like a bull about to charge. “Hulk smashed hammer man before! Hulk will smash hammer lady too!”

Here we go…..

Powerful leg muscles made the Hulk faster than any Olympian could dream of being, and in moments he was upon her. She swung her hammer and it found its mark, colliding against the giant’s face with a dull thud. The angry yowl from his lips was garbled as she swung again and again, bashing him in the head and jaws, until he managed to evade one of her swings and wrap his hands around her wrists, pressing down with all his weight and strength. He was strong, stronger than her by the feel of it, and she was losing ground the more she tried to test her strength against his.

“Hammer lady is not as strong as Hulk,” he grinned, mocking her as she struggled to hold him back, “Hulk is the strongest one there is!”

With a single deft movement, he released her and moved aside. She stumbled forward, and he swung his great palm, catching her in the back and sending her hurtling along the ground. She scrambled to her feet and made a few more lightning bolts fall from the sky as she tried to put some distance between them. He was stronger than her --- that was clear --- and the lightning wasn’t doing much more than annoying him.

What would Thor do?

After the last lightning bolt had found its mark, the Hulk charged at her and she tossed Mjolnir right at him. He swerved to the side and it missed him by a mile, and she heard his rough “Ha!” right before he collided with her. Without the hammer to fend him off, he rained blow after blow down on her, making a crater in the ground that pushed her deeper into the earth as she tried to block the damage with her arms. Behind him, she could see Mjolnir shooting up through the sky like a meteor, rising higher and higher until it was in the stratosphere.

Now! she willed desperately, drawing the weapon to her. Fall to me!

“Hammer lady cannot beat Hulk!” he crowed, punching harder and harder, as she tried to shield her head from his fists. “Hammer lady cannot even fight back!”

“I am not…ungh….trying to fight back, monster,” she managed, “I am simply waiting.”

“Wait for what?”

She stabbed her finger at the sky behind him. “For that.”

 

The onslaught ceased as Hulk turned his sights to the skies, and saw Mjolnir streaking down to Earth at blinding speeds. So fast did the hammer fly that by the time he realized it was aimed at him, it was too late.

“Hnnh?”

The divine missile struck the Hulk’s skull with a shattering boom, and the beast stumbled from side to side as the resulting brain damage played havoc with his control over his own body. He fell backwards, and would have crushed her under his sheer weight had she not rolled away. Every bone in her body ached for sleep, and she could hear the blood pounding in her head, but she had done it. I actually did it!

“I will only say this one more time,” she gasped, placing her foot squarely on the Hulk’s chest as she tried to catch her breath, “Yield.”

He groaned weakly, straining to rise, before giving up and collapsing back onto the ground. He would heal quickly, but the fight had been taken out of him. “Hulk’s head hurts,” he mumbled.Tell me about it, she thought. Her own skull had been punched so many times it felt like her brain was trying to shake its way out.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------The ravens jeered raucously at the sight of the Hulk’s defeat, and dropped dead a second later when Amora turned their blood to granite.

Perhaps you’re more formidable than you look, she mused, stirring the waters of the divining pool, I’ll have to keep a close eye on you, won’t I?

Her fingers painted arcane sigils in the air, and the water began to bubble and boil furiously. The image of the Goddess of Thunder swirled and blanched, and a thin smile spread across the Enchantress’s lips.But first, let’s have some fun…….

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Surtur’s breath,” she panted, “It’s hot.”

Her hair was wet and matted underneath the helmet, which she took off to get some air. Perhaps it was the exertion of the battle, but she felt like she'd been dipped into a furnace. She fanned herself with her hands and took off her greaves to cool down, but it just kept getting hotter and hotter. Her skin itched and then began to burn, and she yelped in shock as the sweat that had pooled up inside her armor sizzled and boiled. She danced and hopped around madly as she pulled everything off to try and stave off the inferno, until she was naked as the day she was born. And then, as abruptly as the heat had begun, it disappeared, replaced by a chill that cut to the bone.

What the hell is happening?

The air was colder than a Frost Giant's breath, and she could feel her lips harden and dry in seconds. Shivering, she scrambled over to where she had discarded the pieces of her armor.......and froze in place when she realized she wasn't alone.

The Hulk was awake, and had recovered enough to gape in shock at her, his jaw hanging slack. Her cheeks burned red at the lump in his pants that slowly expanded until it burst from the fabric, loosing a thick mass of green flesh.  It was nearly the size of her entire thigh, and roughly as thick…..Gods, what would it feel like to---

Why am I even thinking about this?

“Hammer lady naked,” he said, managing the obvious. She made no move at first, simply entranced by the sight of that gigantic, ridiculous cock. 

She touched it.

She hadn't meant to. It was as if something had taken hold of her hand and moved it with her simply observing, but once it had happened, things spiraled out of control. It was warm, and she shuddered in relief at the feel of the heat, crawling over to embrace the only defense she could find against the cold. Hulk was bewildered, but he was growing hornier by the second, and his bewilderment was quickly being replaced by a single train of thought. 

"Hulk fuck hammer lady," he growled, gripping his erection in front of her. It wasn't an offer.

And if it was, she wasn't in any mood to decline.

She took him by surprise, leaping on top and pushing him down until her slick labia were inches away from his throbbing head. He was startled, but growled his approval as he felt her rub herself gingerly against his tip. 

"Take me," she begged. The only thought in her head was that she would freeze to death without his marvelous warmth filling her up. 

He obliged in his unique manner, grabbing her by the hips and slamming her down mercilessly on his length. She shrieked as red hot pain shot through her, moaning piteously as her mind tried to catch up to what her body was experiencing, but the pain was bearable once the cold went away. She looked down nervously and nearly fainted at the sight of her bulging belly; with one hand she could rub his cock through her own skin, but it was warm, so warm, and she let him continue. There was still pain to go with the pleasure, but there was also a certain sick thrill in watching him distend her lower abdomen a little bit more with every monstrous inch that he managed to squeeze in. Still shivering from the cold, she pressed herself hard against his chest, going slack as his massive hands squeezed her ass with enough force to crumple steel, drawing comfort from the heat of his giant cock throbbing inside her.

And then the fucking started.

She clung onto his shoulders and rode it out as his hands squeezed harder, pulling her up and down by her round and perfect cheeks, slamming her hand on his length again and again. He’d filled her out so wide an entire arm could probably be shoved inside her cunt without a problem, and still she was driven to wordless gasps as he drove in deeper and deeper. The veins along his cock were thick and bulged out from the skin, and she shivered to feel them rubbing against her tender walls as he fucked her. She spread her thighs as far apart as she could to make his penetration a little smoother; he treated her like little more than a warm collection of holes to ejaculate inside, and she doubted her physical comfort was high on his list of priorities at the moment.

The Hulk’s hands strayed from her cheeks down to her thighs, and with a sudden brutality, he yanked her down, smashing through her last defenses and burying himself inside her to the hilt. Her fingers slipped away from his shoulders as she was pulled down along his body, and her eyes watered from the initial pain of it. Then he throbbed inside her, and then again, and each time the sensation struck every tiny nerve and pleasure center at her core. His fucking slowed down and became almost tender, a relative measure, as if he was doing his best to drive her over the edge she was teetering along. It succeeded, and with a sharp cry that rang out across the forest, her body shook in orgasm, spasming wildly as her vision went black.

When she awoke, she was face down against the ground, legs pulled up in the air in a reverse wheelbarrow. She felt his fat fingers meddling around and craned her neck back, terrified to find that the Hulk’s cock was pressed against the opening to her ass.

“Wait!” she cried out. Superpowers or not, it would destroy her.

“Hulk not wait!” he roared, his face rapidly turning red from the strain of trying to force his monstrous organ into her tight ass. “Hammer lady not boss of Hulk!”

Through force of will, she pulled Mjolnir to herself and planted the hammer head down on the forest floor, compelling it to stay in place, and wrapped her hands around the shaft to hang on for dear life. Absurd sounds croaked from her mouth as his swollen tip made its way past her rectum, stretching her asshole wide open in the most physically grueling experience of her life. The Hulk made forceful little jabs to push more and more inside her, and when a good few inches of his meat had made their way inside, it became apparent that nothing more could possibly fit in that sore space. He increased his pace and vigor, pumping harder and harder to get himself off with her once-tight opening. Her thighs rippled as his heavy balls smashed against her hinds every time he slammed into her, eliciting little squeaks from her lips with each impact.

“Hulk coming!” he bellowed, and she braced herself for his emission.

His cock went off like a cannon inside her, blowing a small river of hot cum into her ass. It dribbled from the sides of her tightly-plugged ass and streamed down across her thighs. He blasted away like a high-pressure pump, and her ass felt it would explode from the buildup. Mercifully, he pulled out, and her battered asshole made a sound like an unclogged drain as cum sprayed out across the floor. Her legs were shaky from his rut, and as she fell to her knees, she was slammed to the floor by the bursts of fluid from his cock that blasted onto her back and drenched her hair. She managed to flip onto her back, and was greeted by a jet of gamma-infused cum right to the face. Setting aside the fact that it was irradiated, the sheer force with which it struck her would have decapitated a mortal woman. If she had ever had doubts about the benefits of wielding Thor’s powers, avoiding a mortifying sex-related death would help answer them.

The slimy liquid splattered across her face was so thick and hot it was difficult to breath. When she managed to wipe enough of it away with her hands, she was alarmed to see the Hulk tipping over on top of her, collapsing from exhaustion right over her. His snoring rang in her ears, and his weakening cock was still spurting smaller streams of seed that pooled on her belly. He was too heavy to move in her tired state, and she passed out again shortly after he did.

When she awoke hours later, the Hulk was gone, and a scrawny mortal man was draped unconscious over her naked body. Pushing him off, she gingerly inspected her lower half. It ached and dripped, and her ass and pussy were forever ruined for all but the biggest cocks she’d ever find.

Worth it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Banner woke, he had no memory of what the Hulk had gotten up to, and S.H.I.E.L.D took him in for containment and debriefing. No fatalities had occurred, and property damage was limited; faced with that set of facts, Maria had to admit that she’d been wrong to withhold her trust.

"I may join your band of warriors after all, Director Hill, if you would still have me,” the new Thor said, after Maria had thanked her.

Maria blinked. It was a complete 180, but she wasn't about to say no to that. 

“Uh, sure, welcome to the Avengers, I guess. What changed your mind?”

"The green beast will need to be watched closely,” she said, swinging her hammer over her shoulder, “and I am best suited for the job.”