Jerk of Hearts, Queen of Spades

Hello everyone, and welcome to my Reggie/Midge yarn. This one turned out a lot.... LOT longer than I anticipated. Let's just say it's no PWP. In fact, there's a lot of "P". It's really a romance fic with two or three explicit scenes thrown in. Enjoy.
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"Jerk of Hearts, Queen of Spades"
Riverdale fanfiction by Xyggi Martak

________________________________Chapter 1

"D-UH!"

Reggie Mantle's heart sank. DANG! Everything had been going so well this time! He really didn't want this moment to evaporate, but he knew it had to happen eventually. Gritting his teeth, he let his neck slowly rotate, bringing him nose-to-nose with...

"Moose, ol' boy!" Reggie said jovially. "What's good in the neighborhood?"

"Reggie," Midge Klump hissed warningly. The brief glance he spared in her direction plucked his heartstrings as usually it did; she was so comely. Ever since he could remember, he'd coveted this tantalizing morsel, with her petite, trim build, her full lips and doe eyes, the sporty black hair with just enough flip. Venus personified in his own backyard of Riverdale. Of course, it also didn't hurt that there was the added challenge of avoiding her muscle-bound boyfriend. The three things Reggie held in highest regard were quality practical jokes, quality rock music, and quality challenges. And if ever there were an insurmountable obstacle...

"Duh, see that diner on the corner?" Moose Mason growled as he thumbed over his broad shoulder, gigantic jaw tense, beady eyes narrowed. "They say what's good is their knuckle sandwich. An' I got a special delivery for anybody makin' time wit' my Midge!"

Casually and with impeccable non-chalance, Reggie let his arm fall away from around Midge's shoulders, passing it off as if it had only been on the back of the bench. Of course, it really had been around Midge's shoulder, and he had just told a decent enough one-liner that had made her laugh musically - one of his greater joys in life. All week, he had been angling toward her, biding his time, being mostly just witty and charming without going in for the kill. It had to be more successful than his past brazen attempts. Finally, it had started to pay off, she was talking to him, enjoying his presence instead of detesting it! Still, he was no fool; this was usually as far as he got before her warden came to call, so he had to have a wealth of contingency plans. "Look, pal, I was just keeping her company! Where've you been? We were waiting all day!"

"I been at Old's Gym," Moose said with a dangerous smile that showed all of his teeth. "Working on my biceps an' delts. I could show you!"

And suddenly, Reggie was flying through the gentle spring breeze, light as a feather. The number of times this happened didn't seem to reduce the terror. A bush broke his fall, and he winced, feeling every branch gouge his skin. He was sure going to be feeling that in the morning...

"Moose, you big dumb ox!" Midge was shouting at him. "Do you have to fly off the handle all the time?! Reggie wasn't hurting anybody!"

"He was hurting ME!" Moose countered. "Insinu-tatin' that you an' me ain't steadies and that he can move in on ya anytime he feels like it! Makes a guy all depressed-like!"

Reggie could hear the frost threatening to overtake the heat in Midge's words as he struggled feebly to escape his leafy prison. "Well, we might not be 'steadies' anymore if you keep hurling any boy that comes within a ten-foot radius of me into nearby shrubbery!"

"Peh," he spat in Reggie's direction. "He's the worstest of the worst. He knows you're my gurl an' he still hangs around ya like mosquitos in July!"

"Moose, go home! I don't want to see you right now, I- OOH, you make me so mad!"

"B-but Midge," he protested, anger abating in the face of his lady friend's. "We was gonna go to the movies today!"

"Sorry, but I don't much feel like a movie anymore," she said flatly. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow at school."

Reggie listened hard as the two made mostly inaudible noises at each other, somebody stamped their foot, and then somebody walked away. He braced for the worst when he felt and heard rustling of hands searching for him, but then Midge's face came into view and he breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank heavens it's you!"

"You'd better be thanking the heavens," she snapped, glancing around. "Moose is about through with your shenanigans; if you keep hitting on me all the time, sooner or later you'll end up in traction!"

"Ahh, I'm not afraid of that big dope," he boasted. "More bark than bite."

She frowned at him as she tried to yank him out of the bushes. "He's more bite than bite and you know- EEP!"

Neither of them had the balance they thought they had and Midge fell forward into his arms. Reggie's heart skipped a beat - suddenly, things had gone from bad to great! Warmth and electricity settled over him, giving him a ripple of goosebumps. He whispered, "Hello there," gazing right into her eyes, and he watched them flutter. Taking no prisoners, he went for it, and kissed her lips - so amazing! Was this it, where he finally turned the tide? She did nothing to fight him, but didn't exactly kiss back. Was she too shocked to react?

Then he noticed she was very tense, more tense than any of them had been up to now. He placed a hesitant hand on her hip, not trying to force anything or move too fast, but just a reassuring touch. Her lips parted slightly, her breath coming faster through her nose, and he smiled to himself, leaving a gentle bite on her bottom lip. Unfortunately, this seemed to snap her out of it.

"No!" she gasped, drawing back. "Reg- Reggie, we c-can't do this, wh-what are you thinking?"

"Sorry," he told her calmly, unable to keep the smug smile from his face. He'd enjoyed that a lot, why should he pretend otherwise? "Can you really blame me?"

"Hang on, I'm- I'm getting out of-"

"OW," he grunted, trying to readjust. "Is that a branch, or do you have a pen in your pocket?"

Midge stopped dead, staring at him directly in the eyes with that expression a deer gets when it sees the grill of a semi truck bearing down on it. Reggie raised his eyebrows at her, but she still didn't react. Was she in shock? They had never kissed before or anything, only gone out on a very casual date once or twice - which usually ended with Moose piledriving him. Gulping, he turned quickly, glancing around for the big galloot, but no one was behind him. "Oh-kaaaay..."

"S-sorry," she said very softly. When he turned again, her back was to him as she scrambled to free herself of the bush, and as she made it out she muttered, "Going home" before tearing off through the park.

"What in the sam hill was THAT?!" Reggie exclaimed.

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Reggie spent the rest of the weekend pondering Midge's strange behavior. Or really, the rest of that day; Sunday, he went out with the lovely Miss Veronica Lodge, who was more than happy to dine with him at Chez Froufii, an upscale restaurant that few of her other suitors could afford. It would have been nice if she hadn't spent the entire evening complaining about how Archie had been seen repeatedly with one Cheryl Blossom, but it didn't bother Reggie; he knew by now that all the girls of Riverdale, for some unfathomable reason, had a soft spot for the red-headed nitwit. He'd learned to see it as a challenge rather than let it rile him - because, as everyone knew, challenges were his ambrosia.

But Monday morning, when he got to school, it came back to him. When he saw Midge talking to Ethel Muggs at her locker, he debated for the briefest second before he strode over and asked, "Morning, you lovely ladies. What's new?"

"Nothing," Midge said breezily.

"What do you want, Reggie?" Ethel asked nastily, though a false smile was hitched into place.

"Just to talk to Midge here," he said with an endearing grin. "That a crime?"

The tall girl laughed. "Only when Moose is the law. And you know he is. Does that make you a glutton for punishment?"

"I have nothing but honorable intentions," he swore, holding both hands in front of his chest. "Please?"

"See you in class, Ethel." It was what he wanted, but did she have to sound so resigned?

"Allright, allright, I'm goin'. Behave, you two."

Reggie waited a reasonable amount of time for Ethel to be out of earshot. Then, after glancing around for Midge's enforcer, he asked, "So what was up with you on Saturday?"

"I... don't know what you mean."

"The way you freaked out. After... y'know." He permitted himself the briefest suggestive laugh. "I mean, it was more than nice."

She continued to dig through her locker for a book, not looking at him. "I guess."

"Fireworks went off!" he hissed. "Come on, baby, you know we have somethin' here. Why fight it?"

"Because if I don't fight it, you will be - fighting off a three-hundred pound gorilla who thinks you're his banana."

Reggie blinked. "Wow, I don't usually hear you talk about Moose that way. He been making a donkey's derriere out of himself more than usual?"

"Kind of," she admitted. He waited as she bit her lip, trying to decide if she wanted to divulge any more than this or not. "He's sweet in his own way, and I really do admire him, but... does he have to get so violent about everything?"

"Ahh, he's a meathead," Reggie scoffed. "Sure, he's not all bad, but sports is pretty much all he knows. Take me, for example; I consider myself to be the ultimate well-rounded male. I've got interests outside of sports, even though I'm a star athlete in my own right."

"Really?" she laughed, almost grateful for his boasting because it was at least a change in subject. "Like what, sniping other men's dates?"

"Everybody needs hobbies. But I'm also a talented musician, a model student, ace reporter for the Blue & Gold, and a gentleman. All this could be yours, Mizz Klump."

Midge laughed again, more freely. "And at what low, low price? Moose taking a long walk off a short pier? Because I highly doubt he'd let that happen any other way."

She started moving off toward her classroom, and Reggie fell into step beside her. "There are occasionally roadblocks on Lover's Lane, it's true. Does that mean you never take it?"

"I thought that's what roadblocks mean: 'Don't take this road'!"

"Semantics," he said, waving a hand. "But none of this has much to do with why you were so shocked when we were... intimate."

Midge gulped noticeably. Was there really another reason? Reggie had simply been fishing, but she had taken his bait. "Maybe, maybe not. But it's none of your beeswax."

"Let me be the judge of that."

More fidgeting. She had just opened her mouth to say something else when Jughead Jones came around the corner, crown beanie low on his forehead, waving at them. When Reggie only gritted his teeth, Jughead sauntered right over and said lazily in Reggie's ear, "You remember that five bucks I owe you?"

"With vivid clarity," he snorted. "You got it?"

"Better," he said. "Big Moose is coming around the corner. I'd say that squares us AND you owe me a burger at Pop's."

Reggie wasn't inclined to argue. "Thanks, buddy - walk with me!"

"Hey-"

Five seconds later found Moose appearing from nowhere, but by this time Midge was standing alone, sighing, and Reggie and Jughead were several yards away by the water fountain, pretending to be deeply engrossed in conversation. Moose started talking to his girlfriend, and eventually they moved off.

"That was close," Reggie gusted.

"Make that a double cheeseburger," Jughead amended to his claim, arms crossing as he leaned back. "But you really should steer clear of Midge before you go bankrupt."

"You're probably right," Reggie groaned. "But it's like a moth to a flame! Something about her just... calls out to me!"

"You're out of your tree," he laughed.

"There's a pizza in this locker."

Jughead's half-closed eyes snapped open. "Really?! What's the combination?!"

"Just like that," Reggie snickered, a wicked grin appearing as always it did. Jughead scowled. "Exactly the same way, every time I see Midge, I have to go for it, even when I know it means loss of limb. Can't change my nature."

"Wish you would, Mantle." Even though he knew there was no pizza now, he couldn't help staring at the locker. "But then again, one day you'll end up in jail or something for it, which might wake you up a little. You can't always get what you want."

"But sometimes you can," he rebutted. "Perseverance!"

"Isn't that the new aftershave that's supposed to make you smell like a show pony?"

"I gotta find Midge after school," he said vaguely as he stomped off toward class, fully alert and ready to spin many, many plans of attack.

Jughead shrugged his shoulders as he moved off for his own class. "What a goob."

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"D-uh, izzat so?!"

"Yes, it is! I'm sick of your attitude! And until you work on that, I... I don't care to see you anymore, Moose Mason!"

Reggie almost fell down the front steps of the school when he caught this. Was this really happening, right after school? He cast a cautious look over across the lawns and, sure enough, Midge and Moose were glaring each other down, faces flushed. One or two scattered students also witnessed this, open-mouthed, but most of the kids had already gone home by then. As he watched, the formerly-angry Moose started to look more and more like a wounded puppy. "B-but, Midge, I didn't mean-"

"I know, but I meant what I said!" she shouted. "Consider us separated! Shape up, or kiss you-and-I goodbye forever!"

With those parting words, she stormed off, and Moose just stood there like he'd been destroyed. Which he probably had. For a brief moment, Reggie felt nothing but surprise, and a pang for the football player. This was the end of an era! Had the golden couple of Riverdale gone the way of the buffalo?

Once the shock had passed, a glint appeared in his eye. Midge was a free agent. Now, if he wanted to pick her up for a night on the town, Moose couldn't really do anything about it because he wasn't her boyfriend anymore. This was a golden opportunity! But Moose was likely to take out his emotions on anything nearby. Now was no time to act. He waited a moment more, then strolled easily down the steps and toward the parking lot, acting as if he hadn't a care in the world. There would be plenty of time tomorrow to seek out the object of his desires.

Cloud nine vanished when he reached his convertible; Jughead was already in the passenger's seat, feet up on the driver's. When Reggie got near, he called out, "I'm here to collect!"

"Why wouldn't you be?" Reggie groaned. "Couldn't you have hopped a ride with ol' Starchy?"

"Wanted to ensure my payout. Ready, Boss?"

"As ready as I'm going to be - but ONE cheeseburger, you got that? My thanks only extends so far."

"It extends far enough."

The parking was rough around Pop's that day, but eventually they found a metered spot with enough payment left on it to cover the rest of the time before it became a free spot. Reggie smiled to himself; it was a good day, to be sure. But once he and Jughead had strolled into Pop Tate's, he experienced a flare-up of anger.

Archie Andrews was seated at a table with his arm around Veronica, sipping a chocolate shake with two straws. He had just been out with her the night before! The boy moved fast! "What are you doing?"

"Awfully blunt, Sir Reginald," Veronica said simply without looking up at him.

"Hiya, Reg!" Archie was cheerful, as always - even more so with Veronica snuggled next to him. "What's the buzz?"

"First, my burger," Jughead interjected. "Then the idle chatter."

"Pop!" Reggie half-shouted. "A double-cheeseburger on my tab for my very impatient pal here!"

"Coming up," the middle-aged man responded, still putting the finishing touches on a Cobb salad someone had ordered.

"Since when do you pay for Jug's meals?" Archie snorted, an eyebrow cocked.

"Since I saved his skin from Moose's wrath," Jug said as he plopped into an empty chair, completely oblivious to the semi-date atmosphere Archie and Veronica had created at their table. Veronica's lips pursed, but she said nothing. "He was almost caught red-handed in the perpetration of a DWM."

"DWM?" Veronica asked.

"Dialogue With Midge."

All three of them broke down in gales of laughter. Reggie simply shoved his hands in his pockets and waited. "Yeah, yeah, it's hilarious. Well, that was the last time I'll need Needlenose to watch my back."

"I highly doubt it," Archie scoffed.

"Truly - they finally broke it off."

Veronica finally looked up at him fully, jaw slack. "Are you serious? No way, it can't possibly be true!"

"Heard them fighting myself," Reggie said proudly. "And if Midge didn't tell him to get lost until he learned how to be more 'Zen', then I'm a monkey's uncle."

"Your obvious simian heritage notwithstanding," Jughead began, "I, uh, am inclined to believe you."

"See? HA!" Reggie nodded triumphantly, then paused. "Wait... why?"

"Because it looks to me like that's her over in that booth with Betty consoling her."

Everybody turned to follow Jughead's gaze, and saw it to be the truth. Midge was very obviously crying, face buried in her hands, several crumped napkins and the remnants of a hot fudge sundae littering her table. He also recognized the blonde head of Betty Cooper, and she was running a kind hand over Midge's back and shoulder, whispering low to her with a very worried expression.

"Should we go over there?" Archie was whispering uncomfortably. "We wouldn't want to ambush her with sympathy or anything, but..."

"It's a sticky one," Jughead sighed.

Reggie whistled. "Wow, she's really hurting over this - it's funny, she sounded furious before, and now she's bawling her eyes out."

"I think Betty has this covered," Veronica said simply, though she didn't sound very sure of herself. "Anyway, she's much better at the whole 'empathizing' thing than I ever was."

"I'll go over there and see how she's doing. I just... can't help but wonder if it's partly my fault."

"Wouldn't doubt it," Jughead said pointedly. "The way you're always trying to jump in there betwen them? Boy howdy, are you a homewrecker."

"Thanks a lot, chum. You know, I might just eat your burger when it shows up."

Before Jughead could make more than a noise of protest, Reggie was marching off toward the booth in the corner. When Betty saw him coming, she looked up and mouthed, "Not now, Reggie," with a glare of death that could have put Veronica to shame.

"Hey, Midge," he said brightly, as if nothing were wrong. "Catching a cold?"

"Not now, Reggie," she sobbed into a napkin. Betty waggled "I told you so" eyebrows at him before stroking Midge's forearm.

"Can I get you a soda, maybe?"

"She doesn't want your bad pick-up lines at the moment," Betty hissed. "Can't you find somebody else to bother?"

"I wasn't trying to pick anybody up," he whispered as he slid into the opposite bench of the booth. "Just trying to help, she looks like she's had a rough day."

"Don't beat around the bush," Midge sniffled, dabbing at her eyes as they stared out the window. "I did see you on the steps when I left."

"Oh." He swallowed. "Well, I mean, I wasn't trying to overhear anything, but... hey, these things happen all the time. You'll bounce back."

"Reggie, please go," Betty whispered, though her voice was kinder now than it had been. "I don't think she wants to talk about it."

"I can take a hint." He stood up, then tossed a few single bills onto the table. "Have another sundae on me if you want. See you 'round."

When Reggie got near the others at their table, everyone's eyes expectant and breath held, he just shook his head at them and left the diner. He suddenly didn't feel like socializing anymore.

________________________________To Be Continued...