JTHM

The air smelt a little like decaying leaves. Maybe with good reason too after all he was in the woods. There was thoguhts buzzing about in his head, too many of them... to damn human. Thoughts and emotions that botherd him. And so it should. He had left for several months because he wanted to become as inhumane as the stars. never to be actully touched. He didnt want to feel anything. He tried to put so much aside. And what he did do? made his body give in to one. How sickening he thought. To have done that. For a brief second Nny felt a loss of the women. Devi... Devi... De- NO! he gaveo ono one. Sick disgusting thing! Only the weak feel! On those who give into the shit infested filled planet. Domination... everywhere, the sickness of everything. That was anuther thing he tried to rid himself of. The hatred of others. It owuld get him nowhere he knew but there was the time when he enjoyed nothing more than rg hig himself of all the deranged sick fucks that walked. The assholes that he tried making the world a better place by riding them. But on his journey he realised that it would be impossible to rid all of them. And what good did it do?
As he walked threw the branches motion in step he looked at his hands. Bloroplroplets appeared on his hands, rissing suddenly...
"what the?"
it begain to overflow out of his hands onto his clothes and then to his boots. he shook his hands in the air as if he was trying to shake off his hand. wiping his hands on his pants he suddenly noticed that there was no blood. He imagined it. This wasnt the first time that it had happend. It seemed like little peices of his mind had been trying to fuck with him, maybe it was punishment or something... yeah or something. After Devi... he kept seeing things in blood. Breaking all the mirrors in the house even the first time he saw blood pouring out of his eyes. It hadnt been real though.He wondered about this. He clenched his fist tohimself in a ball until hft tft tiny white nail prints in his skin. Finally he came to a creek. he stopped and stared at it for a second. No thoughts or poetic images came to his mind. Good he thought. He had managed to rid himself of a few emotions. With Devi out of the way maybe it Would be better somehow. In the water he thrust his hands in fear of the possibility the blood had been there even though there was proof on his pants there was none. So much accomplished he thoguht and went back to a memory. He had even managed to go without so little food that he could go about a week without having to injest anything solid. Water was the main thing... he kept himself hydrated with plenty of water. Evereynow and then he would have SLAUTERED for a cherry doom, or a killer peach slush. But he wanted to rid himself of the things that soem poeple would say "make the world worth living in". He had lost weight he thought, looking into his relfection of the water. If that was possible he had lost much more weight in his face it looked like and his skin was ever so much paler. During the daytime he hid in the shadows, not quiet sleeping but enough to turn his mind off, the way you turn your computer onto sleep moad but you know its just dissapeard on the inside unti its revived. He figured durning the night there would be less people to deal with. He pushed so many thoguhts away he even put little Squee into the back of his mind. Since he wasnt thinking of Squee, he began to. Child. Innocent people would say they were. Hell, of coarse it would seem that way. All it would do is grow up into one of THEM. Ignorant le ble bastards he had come to tink. Only because they dont kow any better? well that is a thought owuldt bet be? however it needed too much. It didnt understand what would happen. Whatever it was baout them he just didnt like. Fucking little shits, just like the rest. He calmed himself down realiseing he was getting adjitated at the thought and he remembered he didnt want eel eel any anger. The thought of anger reminded of hate which made him think of love.
Love...
Love. The mostked ked up emotion of all.
Nothing in the world would was more stupider. Only nessacary like an animal instinct. Must love child, love friends, love stupid objects that would eventully end up owning the owner. Fucking stupid. It was just a need, a feeling that made people weak inside...

It was between the rock where he huddled in between. kind of like a cave only not really leading to anywhere. it was if it was hollowed out. A fitting place he thought and thats where he waited until next evening. He was too full of confusion to walk. In the evening maybe he would try to convince himself to turn aroound and find his bus.