.Black Leaf and Marcie are Dead!

One Saturday, Frost announced to the gamers that they were going 'Iron Man' from now on.

"Woo-hoo!" Howard called out.

"What's Iron Man?" Sally asked him. Everyone stared at him as he quieted down, silently admitting ignorance. All eyes turned towards their Game Master.

"It means, dead is dead," she explained. "No more having the cleric resurrect you in the middle of the adventure, down in the dungeon. Resurrections have to be in a temple, back in civilization." The eyes flickered back and forth between the gamers as they digested this.

"So, if we die," Joseph said carefully, "they have to drag our bodies around for the rest of the adventure?" She nodded.

"Well, that's the situation I've been facing the whole time," Debbie said, pointing to her cleric's character sheet.

"I just think maybe it'll make some adventurer's actions more realistic," Minerva said. Everyone turned to Ray. Death Dealer had taken out a dragon by strapping a barrel of lamp oil to his back, shouting 'top of the world, ma!' and jumping into the beast's mouth.

The adventurers had spent significant game time piling his cremains for Debbie's spell. With that in mind, they all agreed to the new rule.

Later that night, Wizard died.

"Oh," Debbie said, looking at the number on her die. "That's a failed save. I'm... Uh, I'm..."

"Dead," Marcie pointed out with glee. "You're out, until we get back to a Temple."

"I know, doofus," Debbie retorted.

"Hey!" Howard interjected. "No insulting the live people from beyond the grave. Only clerics can banter with dead."

"Which in your case would be like masturbating," Howard pointed out.

"Well, you went down fighting," Ray said. "Death Dealer walks over to Wizard's body and stuffs it into a bag of holding."

"Hmmm," Minerva hummed. "I'm afraid you have too much treasure in it for the body. You can get all of Wizard's personal goods in, but you'll have to tip out some-"

"Death Dealer does not part with cash," Ray intoned. "Okay, I strip her bare and stuff her stuff into the bag." Everyone nodded.

"Then," he continued, "I shout 'Field expedient!' and cut off her arm. Will that fit?"

"Eep," Debbie squeaked.

"Just barely," Frost judged gravely, secretly delighted at his action and Debbie's reaction.

"That's enough for a high level priest to resurrect her with, right?" Sally asked.

"Yeah," Howard pointed out, "if 10 tablespoons of ash can be turned back into a Warrior-Priest, then-"

"So, we don't need the rest of this?" Marcie asked. "In that case, Black Leaf kneels beside Wizard's body, cries over the death of her friend, companion and lover. Then slices off a breast."

The entire table gasped in surprise. Marcie pantomimed raising a small pet, like a tribble, stroking it. "I will love it and keep it and pet it and squeeze it forever and ever," she said. "Just to remind me of better times and hot girl on girl action."

Debbie fled the room, establishing a tradition that dead characters meant absent players. Marcie smiled and licked her invisible pet boob.

"Death Dealer has a meat preserving spell, right?" she asked Ray. He nodded, slowly, eyes wide.

-----

"Have you been talking to Marcie?" Minerva asked as she stretched across the bed. Mike lay beside her, writing poetry across her skin.

"Yeah, yeah," he assured her. "I picked her up at the school and saved her a bus ride. I took her to the mall to get a gift for her mom."

'Roses are red,' he scrawled across her belly. "In fact, she called me the other day. Seems she'd had an out with her friend Debbie and wanted someone to talk to." He tried to think of a flower that would rhyme with the ending he wanted. Were violets fussy?

"What did you tell her?" his lover asked. She took the pen from him and drew concentric circles around her belly button. He bent to lick at the edible ink, following the line of the pen as she traced her curves.

"Not much," he said as he was able, "just that friends have fights." He scrambled to keep up with her pen as she crossed and recrossed her breasts. "Be understanding, trust in the Lord, that sort of thing." He suddenly sat up, lickable professora forgotten.

"You're not upset?" he asked.

"Why would I be?" She rolled over and started writing on his chest.

"For mentioning the Lord." He rolled onto his back as she pressed against his shoulders.

"Uh-uh." She held the pen in her teeth and drew phallic symbols on his chest. Her hands played with the real thing. She liked that he'd kept to his public persona. The pastor's kid, handing out good Christian advice...that might come in handy, later.