Perseverance

“What was that, dude?” Mike asked Don in Japanese as soon as Charlie was out of earshot. The four brothers always spoke Japanese when they wanted a little privacy.

Don shrugged. He still had that dreamy look on his face as he responded in their second language, “She just does that to me. I can’t explain it. Usually I hide it better than that, but it just bubbled out.” He sipped Charlie’s abandoned coffee.

“You okay?” Leo asked, sitting forward. “You looked like you were... oh.” Suddenly the penny dropped and Leonardo understood. He smiled.

“What?” Mike asked, confused. Leo took pity on his little brother and gave him his last sausage.

“He’s in love with her,” Raphael sighed, exasperated. He grabbed a fork and started eating the last of the eggs right off the platter.

“Really?!” Mike said, thrilled. “How do you know? What’s it like? Is that why you’ve been acting so spacey lately? Does she love you?”

Donatello’s analytical skills kicked in and he ran over Mike’s questions in his head before answering. “I know because it’s different than at first when I just had a big crush on her. It feels...” he paused, not knowing how to describe it. “Wonderful. I’ve never felt this good in my life, ever. And I really mean that. It really is the greatest feeling in the world.”

His brother’ had gone quiet and were leaning closer to hear him because he was talking so softly.

“It’s like it’s slowly taking over my mind and body over, but I love it! I want to feel more of it. It’s a bit like drowning, but the deeper I get the better I feel. I feel like there’s a bright light inside my chest.” He looked at his brothers, feeling a bit embarrassed. He hoped it didn’t make him sound like a sissy. He just wanted them to understand because even though they all talked tough about how they could all maybe find girlfriends, he also knew that that might not happen. Donatello knew how lucky he was and he wanted to at least share what he was experiencing with his brothers.

“I’ll be honest,” he continued, “we don’t have any basis for comparison, but I know in my heart what I feel... that sounds like a Disney movie, huh?”

“Yeah, kinda,” Mike said. “Bambi and Thumper should turn up here any minute now... did anyone else ever think that the skunk was gay? That one in the flowers at the start of the movie.” The turtles laughed together for the first time since Splinter had left with April. It felt good.

“But how do you know that it’s not just puppy love?” Leo asked. “I mean, it is your first love and all. How do you know it’s real?”

Don smiled and shoved his plate away so he could rest his head on his arms. “Remember that poem that Splinter told us when we were about thirteen or fourteen? The one where the samurai falls in love with a woman with long, beautiful hair who lives in a big house behind a tall wall? He never gets to even meet her, but when the town is attacked by raiders, he dies while defending her from the slave traders who want to cut her hair off.”

“Um... yeah...” Leo said slowly. “What about it?”

Don sighed and sat up, folding his hands on the table. “I’d fight for her. I’d bleed for her. I’d do crazy and bizarre things if it would make her happy. I always remembered that story... I think that Splinter was trying to teach us what real, unselfish love for a woman is, and I’ve secretly always believed that the real test of true love is if you’d be willing to give your life for the other person.”

“You’d die for her?” Leo asked quietly, in shocked awe. “Are you sure you mean that, Donnie?”

Don looked at his hands, then at each of his brothers in turn. He sighed and finished the coffee. “I don’t think I’m there yet, but if things keep going the way they’ve been going, then I think it won’t be too long before I love her so completely that yeah... I’d give my life for her... so um, yeah... that’s how I know it’s not puppy love. And I know it sounds kinda sick and scary, but... it’s not... it makes me feel free in a weird sort of way.”

The turtles sat in silence for a long moment, their breakfast forgotten. “Does she know?” Raphael finally asked.

“No,” Don sighed. “Not yet... I’ve tried a couple of times, but I want it to be just right.“ he told his brothers about the night at the concert and about the morning after when she’d misunderstood his intentions. “I’m going to try again tonight,” he finished, “and this time, it’s gonna work.”

“What are you guys talking about so seriously?” Charlie smiled, appearing back in the dining room.

“Mike has a theory that the skunk in the Bambi movie is gay,” Leo said.

Charlie laughed hard. “Sure, why not?” she said, “There’s a penis drawn into Ariel’s underwater castle on the original covers of The Little Mermaid VHS cases, so why not a gay skunk?” She looked at Raphael. “Ready to roll?”

“You bet, babe,” he said, hopping up. She smiled at Donatello and followed Raph out of the kitchen.

“Is she serious?” Mike asked his remaining two brothers.

“I’ll get the laptop,” Leo said, standing.